I am "on the ledge"

[Lordsudbury]

I had to spend almost $2000 on therapy in the summer to stop myself from taking my life, which in the end I feel like just showed me how flawed and helpless I am by addressing my personal defects instead of resolving them.

One of my therapists described my state as being "on the ledge". Because my father took his life by suicide as well as about 4 of my friends, the presence of it normalizes it to me and makes it seem like a real choice when faced with major lifestyle collapse.

She says I need to endeavour to get myself to step away from the ledge but everytime I think of a trigger I run right back to it.

Are you "on the ledge"?

 

[Dude1983]

I had to spend almost $2000 on therapy in the summer to stop myself from taking my life, which in the end I feel like just showed me how flawed and helpless I am by addressing my personal defects instead of resolving them.

One of my therapists described my state as being "on the ledge". Because my father took his life by suicide as well as about 4 of my friends, the presence of it normalizes it to me and makes it seem like a real choice when faced with major lifestyle collapse.

She says I need to endeavour to get myself to step away from the ledge but everytime I think of a trigger I run right back to it.

Are you "on the ledge"?

Yes, i am on the edge too

 

[Deleted member 19654]

It does certainly feel like I spend most of my time sitting on a ledge and it's hard to step away.

 

[Lordsudbury]

Very very difficult. Ive even started to visualize it. On my best days I'm on the roof, on the other side of the building, enjoying the view and the sky. On my worst days I am sitting there with my legs dangling off preparing to make the jump, or hanging on by my fingertips ready to fall.