Help I almost died from masturbating for 11 hours straight.

[askmeifimatree]

I'm starting to think that I might seriously need some help.

Yesterday, from 6PM to 5AM, I fapped. I kept going and going, even when limp and raw. I got dizzy to a point of almost blacking out several times, dehydrated and hungry to the extreme, and incredibly fatigued due to the insane amounts of exhaustion and exertion. My heart was pumping in my chest and I couldn't see or think straight. The only reason I finished is because my penis automatically exploded after all of the abuse. I felt no pleasure. If I do something like this again, I'm certain that I will have a heart attack and die.

Every day I have a fap, and it's been getting longer and longer. My average fap time is around 3 hours, and it has to be at least more than an hour and a half for me to even finish. It's been this long for around 3 years, and I have developed severe tendinitis in my wrist as a result. I also have severe friction burns on my penis as well, and I regardlessly fap through the pain which just makes it worse. Any free time spent not fapping is time spent looking at porn or playing video games and surfing the web, waiting to fap again.

To put in some background info, I suffer from severe anxiety and ADHD. I attend an IOP therapy center for 5 days a week. I'm fully medicated, although I've been through about 30+ medications at this point and nothing really seems to be working. I live in my mum's house and I have no job, schooling, hobbies, or friends. Due to the fact that I'm very particular about drugs/drinking and have an unsupportive family, masturbating has been my only way of coping with my substandard life.

What makes this habit really pernicious is the fact that it's never been towards human beings. I started out with furry porn at age 12 (I'm 22 now), and I've been attracted to nothing but it ever since. Consequently, I've never found a real BF/GF, had sex, or kissed anyone (besides family) for my whole life. I find regular human beings intensely unappealing, which includes any porn that contains them. Any time I've made an effort to have normal sex with the occasional drunk friend, I'm completely uninterested and it never goes anywhere. The only thing IRL that I can possibly find arousing are trees, and I have worryingly increasing desires to actually own a tree to fuck so that I can finally abate the steep lack of intimacy I've had for all these years.

With all that being said, I don't how I can possibly stop at this point. I desperately need some sort of help from somebody, before I either get arrested for tree abuse or die from exertion. But where do you go and what do you do when intensive therapy and medication have failed you? (I'm just shitposting)

 

[xXiloveyouXx]

Buddy I hope it gets better for you

 

[metrochan]

But where do you go and what do you do when intensive therapy and medication have failed you?

Man, reading this gave me the desire to reply to you some sort of advice or help, but I don't think sharing my experience will give you a solution because I haven't been to intensive therapy and taken a lot of medications, and don't have the same age as yours. Your question is tough (I think). I'll just write my experience to give some food for thought (and also to bump your post, I hope someone else expert on this can help you with this).

So, I also do masturbate and also find humans unappealing. I masturbate to feel some sort of immediate satisfaction because obviously in life compensation takes a loooot of time to come (or simply never comes). I used to masturbate daily. Although, recently I haven't masturbated as much (like once every three days), because I've decided to stop forcing myself to work out of necessity, and work for the things I love. For this obviously we need to ask what is our goal in life: if you want to live a long life with wealth and health then you might want to get used to work for money. But... if you want to live a fulfilling life, (IN MY OPINION,) you might want to sacrifice years of life in order to create the things you have a passion for: it could be writing stories, drawing, making videos, developing a cosmology, you call it! It's about working for yourself, making stuff for you, or even if you believe in a deity, make stuff for you and your deity to enjoy. Do not expect any material compensation, or likes, views, etc... Simply relax, and find a "non-corrupt" or "non-materialistic" or "non-mundane" way of working and being creative.

(Sorry for my rambling and the long text. Don't take it too seriously because my opinion might even change in the future. Again, mostly it's for bumping your post and giving some food for thought.)

Wish you the best.

 

[askmeifimatree]

Doctor : Number 1 priority is getting out of your room. Don't be somewhere you can fap. Get out in public. Sit in a goddamn McDonald's until it's time to go to bed.

 

[caotic_realm]

Speaking as one addict to another, the only thing I can tell you is to seek professional help—specifically psychiatric care. There were times when certain antidepressants "killed" my libido, so that can help; at the same time, psychological therapy alleviates the tension or obsession behind the urge to do it, since you're no longer doing it for pleasure but rather out of compulsion (that's what happens to me).
As for "mistreating trees," I don't think you'd get arrested for that, but you certainly could be for immoral behavior—or whatever your country calls masturbating in public.

I don't know what else to say; I suppose it's all in the mind. I've never had sex or a girlfriend—though I have kissed a few women—but in recent years, given my history of facing a fair amount of rejection, I've developed a fixation on hentai, or "animated porn." Ultimately, these are symptoms of rejection and our struggles with human relationships; ideally, we would experience sex, affection, and self-control, but without healthy human connections, we end up disrupting our natural state—and that is the root of these compulsive symptoms.