Which sentences do help and which are counterproductive? I think most people do not know how to approach that topic. Suicide is very stigmatized and we usually don't openly talk about it. Maybe some people could benefit from our experience which words are counterproductive and which are rather detrimental. I think this topic might be better suited for recovery because I want to focus on approaches how to support them to live.
There are probably people who don't want to live or who don't want that kind of help. But I think the first step should rather be to evaluate whether the problems are solvable (without suicide).
I can remember days before my first psychosis I saw a guy at my school crying. There were rumors he had mental problems. I asked him whether he is all right and whether he needs help. He pretended everything was okay. I did not insist on it because I did not want to infringe his privacy. I think I was no big help but I have tried to help. Though life punished me with extreme mental torment some days afterwards. Now I have more knowledge on mental illness. But I still had no clue how to react properly. I think it is difficult when you barely know the other person. By the way I met this dude years later with his beautiful girlfriend at a psychiatrist. So we can hope at least his life has something similar to an happy end.
I had close contact to women who were sexually assaulted. We talked a lot. I tried to be sensitive and compassionate.Though sometimes I was just too shocked and did not react well. For example when one woman revealed she was raped by her ex-boyfriend. Also for her there is probably an happy end. We had contact years later and I was the person gazing in the abyss. She studies the subject she loves and enjoys life. I think she has found a way to cope with her trauma. I think she had a form of PTSD. Though rather in a milder form.
So you can see also people who went through trauma, abuse and mental torment can find good ways to live with it. The last time I had talked to her she sounded pretty happy.
In my personal and subjective experience the most helpful ways trying to help me were.
Try to listen without being judgmental
Show the person that he or she matters
Try to take the person seriously never pretend it was only a way to seek attention
Maybe support the person to deal with daily routines
Though don't promise things you cannot offer the person could lose trust in you
Don't pretend to have the perfect answer for the problems of the other person. It is about their needs.
Try that the other person does not isolate themselve
Don't play their pain down
Don't say things like "suicide is for cowards". Or as my dad put it. "You are too smart for suicide" Yes he is a moron.
This is my personal opinion and not necessarily objective. I am no expert.
My first intention is to search for a way how to deal with life. How to make life worth living for the other person. Suicide is for me rather the choice when this cannot be reached despite trying it in various ways. But I also read philosophical approaches to life and death which were very different to mine.
I try to apply the way how I deal with suicidality to the situation of other people. Suicide is for me always closely related to ambivalence. There is often the small hope in me to find a way to happiness. Or at least to find a way how to stop the suffering without having to die. There are always needs and desires involved. It is often said: Many people don't neccessarily want to stop their existence they are rather longing for a less painful existence. The society should help us more to alleviate our pain.
I am pretty anxious about suicide. For me it is pretty painful and closely related to desperation. For me I came to the conclusion I am worth trying to recover. I try to say to me "I don't deserve to die such a painful, agonizing and lonely death full of despair" And I am sure the people who read this post also do not deserve such a sad ending. Though I also know life can be very injust and in fact many times it is.
I ruminated in my life so much about suicide. When I was acute suicidal in the psychiatry I was so close to suicide more than ever before. I came to the conclusion yes it is worth trying to find a way to live without suicide. It was clear for me the pain with survivial instinct showed me that suicide is not easy. Suicide is often connected to a lot of pain which accompanies it. It is a pretty existential and permanent decision. It should be thought-through. It is worth trying a lot to avoid such a painfful ending.
So what is your opinion on it? Do you have suggestions how people should approach suffering people?
I know for recovery it is a lot about the topic suicide but it is meant rather in a recovery context.
There are probably people who don't want to live or who don't want that kind of help. But I think the first step should rather be to evaluate whether the problems are solvable (without suicide).
I can remember days before my first psychosis I saw a guy at my school crying. There were rumors he had mental problems. I asked him whether he is all right and whether he needs help. He pretended everything was okay. I did not insist on it because I did not want to infringe his privacy. I think I was no big help but I have tried to help. Though life punished me with extreme mental torment some days afterwards. Now I have more knowledge on mental illness. But I still had no clue how to react properly. I think it is difficult when you barely know the other person. By the way I met this dude years later with his beautiful girlfriend at a psychiatrist. So we can hope at least his life has something similar to an happy end.
I had close contact to women who were sexually assaulted. We talked a lot. I tried to be sensitive and compassionate.Though sometimes I was just too shocked and did not react well. For example when one woman revealed she was raped by her ex-boyfriend. Also for her there is probably an happy end. We had contact years later and I was the person gazing in the abyss. She studies the subject she loves and enjoys life. I think she has found a way to cope with her trauma. I think she had a form of PTSD. Though rather in a milder form.
So you can see also people who went through trauma, abuse and mental torment can find good ways to live with it. The last time I had talked to her she sounded pretty happy.
In my personal and subjective experience the most helpful ways trying to help me were.
Try to listen without being judgmental
Show the person that he or she matters
Try to take the person seriously never pretend it was only a way to seek attention
Maybe support the person to deal with daily routines
Though don't promise things you cannot offer the person could lose trust in you
Don't pretend to have the perfect answer for the problems of the other person. It is about their needs.
Try that the other person does not isolate themselve
Don't play their pain down
Don't say things like "suicide is for cowards". Or as my dad put it. "You are too smart for suicide" Yes he is a moron.
This is my personal opinion and not necessarily objective. I am no expert.
My first intention is to search for a way how to deal with life. How to make life worth living for the other person. Suicide is for me rather the choice when this cannot be reached despite trying it in various ways. But I also read philosophical approaches to life and death which were very different to mine.
I try to apply the way how I deal with suicidality to the situation of other people. Suicide is for me always closely related to ambivalence. There is often the small hope in me to find a way to happiness. Or at least to find a way how to stop the suffering without having to die. There are always needs and desires involved. It is often said: Many people don't neccessarily want to stop their existence they are rather longing for a less painful existence. The society should help us more to alleviate our pain.
I am pretty anxious about suicide. For me it is pretty painful and closely related to desperation. For me I came to the conclusion I am worth trying to recover. I try to say to me "I don't deserve to die such a painful, agonizing and lonely death full of despair" And I am sure the people who read this post also do not deserve such a sad ending. Though I also know life can be very injust and in fact many times it is.
I ruminated in my life so much about suicide. When I was acute suicidal in the psychiatry I was so close to suicide more than ever before. I came to the conclusion yes it is worth trying to find a way to live without suicide. It was clear for me the pain with survivial instinct showed me that suicide is not easy. Suicide is often connected to a lot of pain which accompanies it. It is a pretty existential and permanent decision. It should be thought-through. It is worth trying a lot to avoid such a painfful ending.
So what is your opinion on it? Do you have suggestions how people should approach suffering people?
I know for recovery it is a lot about the topic suicide but it is meant rather in a recovery context.
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