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Meimi18

Meimi18

Beep boop
Nov 1, 2023
82
Lately I've been daydreaming about withering away and dying that way. I'm running out of ways to entertain the people I care about, I wish I could easily accept that eventually they'll get bored or annoyed with me and leave one day. It's strange, I think about how they'd be rid a burden and get happy at the thought, but another less rational part of me finds the idea completely agonizing. I wish I could stay rational about it, I don't really have anything of substance to add to their lives. I wish I wasn't so desperate for company, it's like I have all these parts working against eachother, really wishing I could just turn off my emotions and execute my plan without any internal obstacles

Technically my plan these days is to wait until they move on from me before I ctb, but that really relies on me being disciplined enough to not make it show how much I hate the idea lol. I don't know how I can continue to be a good friend and still start drifting away from them.
I hope my dear friends will forget about me and be happy in their lives
 
bipolar22

bipolar22

Bpd. chronic gastritis. ibs. depression. AUD
Aug 31, 2022
226
Getting rid of friends is eassyyy . Example don't hang with them. Tell them are busy drinking all day and rather sit alone drinking. Don't actually do it but just tell them. And viola everyone is gone.
there a few hidden gem that are loyal and stick through anything with you and you can't really get rid of them because it will probably hurt them more than you just dying. But thats 1 in 1000 as shallow as people are.
 
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