How to not traumatise my coworkers

[l1ablemistakes]

Hi guys, I'm new here. I have been wanting to CTB for about 10 years and last year as a student in healthcare I witnessed a FSH. It's traumatising to everyone involved but effective. I've graduated and started working now which was kind of my final litmus test to see if this urge is permanent- now I have my dream job but I still want to die. Problem is, I work in the ED of my local hospital. If I'm brought in there is a 100% chance I will be seen by my colleagues. I have planned everything out including calling the ambulance myself (I won't tell them my address and I'll barricade the doors obviously to delay the time it'll take them to get in- I want to be brain dead so I can donate my organs, I just don't want my housemates or partner to find my body), my final concern is my coworkers. I wanted to do it at home for the comfort aspect but I'm worried even if I leave a note on the door to not bring me to my workplace, it's still the closest hospital so they'll take me there anyway. It was traumatising enough treating a patient I didn't know who hanged themselves, I just don't want to put that burden on my coworkers. Do you think they'd listen and take me somewhere further away?

 

[Captive_Mind515]

That's a very dangerous plan. Your biggest concern here, should be someone "saving" you early enough that you're not fully dead. I wouldn't risk such a terrible outcome. (just my opinion fwiw)

 

[l1ablemistakes]

That's a very dangerous plan. Your biggest concern here, should be someone "saving" you early enough that you're not fully dead. I wouldn't risk such a terrible outcome. (just my opinion fwiw)

Yeah that's my concern too. It takes about a minute to track the location of a call (and they can't pinpoint it exactly, so I'm guessing they'd have to check the neighbouring houses). Then 5-8 min to get an ambulance out. If I barricade the doors I'm hoping it'd delay them another few minutes. My plan is not for full cardiac death but brain death so I can donate my organs. The timing has to be perfect but I think with those safeguards in place it should be irreversible. I just don't want someone I love to be the one to find me.

That's a very dangerous plan. Your biggest concern here, should be someone "saving" you early enough that you're not fully dead. I wouldn't risk such a terrible outcome. (just my opinion fwiw)

My other option is to schedule a message to a friend 30 min later so they can be the one to call. All the above safeguards still in place. Just don't want to be a burden.

 

[idontknowwhatiam]

Hi guys, I'm new here. I have been wanting to CTB for about 10 years and last year as a student in healthcare I witnessed a FSH. It's traumatising to everyone involved but effective. I've graduated and started working now which was kind of my final litmus test to see if this urge is permanent- now I have my dream job but I still want to die. Problem is, I work in the ED of my local hospital. If I'm brought in there is a 100% chance I will be seen by my colleagues. I have planned everything out including calling the ambulance myself (I won't tell them my address and I'll barricade the doors obviously to delay the time it'll take them to get in- I want to be brain dead so I can donate my organs, I just don't want my housemates or partner to find my body), my final concern is my coworkers. I wanted to do it at home for the comfort aspect but I'm worried even if I leave a note on the door to not bring me to my workplace, it's still the closest hospital so they'll take me there anyway. It was traumatising enough treating a patient I didn't know who hanged themselves, I just don't want to put that burden on my coworkers. Do you think they'd listen and take me somewhere further away?

Can't you ctb out of town so you would not be brought to your hospital?

 

[l1ablemistakes]

That's probably smart. I should get a motel or something. I've either worked at or done placement at most hospitals in my city and my specialty is small, everyone knows everyone and word travels fast. I'd probably have to go interstate. I just kind of wanted the comfort of being at home.

 

[vascomorrow]

Hi guys, I'm new here. I have been wanting to CTB for about 10 years and last year as a student in healthcare I witnessed a FSH. It's traumatising to everyone involved but effective. I've graduated and started working now which was kind of my final litmus test to see if this urge is permanent- now I have my dream job but I still want to die. Problem is, I work in the ED of my local hospital. If I'm brought in there is a 100% chance I will be seen by my colleagues. I have planned everything out including calling the ambulance myself (I won't tell them my address and I'll barricade the doors obviously to delay the time it'll take them to get in- I want to be brain dead so I can donate my organs, I just don't want my housemates or partner to find my body), my final concern is my coworkers. I wanted to do it at home for the comfort aspect but I'm worried even if I leave a note on the door to not bring me to my workplace, it's still the closest hospital so they'll take me there anyway. It was traumatising enough treating a patient I didn't know who hanged themselves, I just don't want to put that burden on my coworkers. Do you think they'd listen and take me somewhere further away?

What is your method? It sounds like you have lots of potential too..

 

[primadonna_]

Hi guys, I'm new here. I have been wanting to CTB for about 10 years and last year as a student in healthcare I witnessed a FSH. It's traumatising to everyone involved but effective. I've graduated and started working now which was kind of my final litmus test to see if this urge is permanent- now I have my dream job but I still want to die. Problem is, I work in the ED of my local hospital. If I'm brought in there is a 100% chance I will be seen by my colleagues. I have planned everything out including calling the ambulance myself (I won't tell them my address and I'll barricade the doors obviously to delay the time it'll take them to get in- I want to be brain dead so I can donate my organs, I just don't want my housemates or partner to find my body), my final concern is my coworkers. I wanted to do it at home for the comfort aspect but I'm worried even if I leave a note on the door to not bring me to my workplace, it's still the closest hospital so they'll take me there anyway. It was traumatising enough treating a patient I didn't know who hanged themselves, I just don't want to put that burden on my coworkers. Do you think they'd listen and take me somewhere further away?

Honestly, if you're worried about them seeing you dead then I don't think it would be a big concern. Your brain shuts off, all your memories and your ability to care would be gone anyways, I say just think about yourself for now and don't worry about anyone else because that won't be a big concern when you're dead.

 

[l1ablemistakes]

What is your method? It sounds like you have lots of potential too..

Hanging. I know it's a waste of life but I genuinely cannot handle this anymore.