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holyhorse

holyhorse

Member
Mar 31, 2024
44
How can I set up my mind before that? I hope you understand what I'm asking
 
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Defenestration

Defenestration

I want to have the courage to defenestrate myself
Oct 25, 2020
1,450
I would like to know also please
 
DivineSpark

DivineSpark

Elementalist
Feb 9, 2025
831
overhelming feeling of pain numbs my survival instinct.
 
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Big_Eal

Big_Eal

Member
Mar 31, 2025
75
Ive been preparing my mind for more than one year , I left all my friends , work , avoid any family meetings , everyday thinking on CTB .
 
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Valhala

Valhala

Arcanist
Jul 30, 2024
486
Ive been preparing my mind for more than one year , I left all my friends , work , avoid any family meetings , everyday thinking on CTB .
And do you feel ready now?
 
holyhorse

holyhorse

Member
Mar 31, 2024
44
Ive been preparing my mind for more than one year , I left all my friends , work , avoid any family meetings , everyday thinking on CTB .
'm not sure if Im experiencing the same that you wrote about. I've been actively suicidal like one year and a half, and made a conclusion that I dont want to continue living this way, and told myself that I'll be the one who will end my life. And recently, like the past 2 months, I'm just thinking everyday "I'll die tomorrow, I'll die tomorrow" and it's just repeats over and over again. To be honest, I'm exhausted. Exhausted from the repeated promise that my existence will stop one day, yet it doesnt happen. I do realise that if I want to end my life, I have to thoroughly plan it. But Im exhausted; I guess I just ran out from almost all the enegy. Getting out from bed is hell of a struggle, and after that I have to brush my teeth, which is also tiring, especially my contamination OCD makes it worse.
overhelming feeling of pain numbs my survival instinct.
I'm sorry to hear that. I wish you will find freedom from all the pain one beautiful day
'm not sure if Im experiencing the same that you wrote about. I've been actively suicidal like one year and a half, and made a conclusion that I dont want to continue living this way, and told myself that I'll be the one who will end my life. And recently, like the past 2 months, I'm just thinking everyday "I'll die tomorrow, I'll die tomorrow" and it's just repeats over and over again. To be honest, I'm exhausted. Exhausted from the repeated promise that my existence will stop one day, yet it doesnt happen. I do realise that if I want to end my life, I have to thoroughly plan it. But Im exhausted; I guess I just ran out from almost all the enegy. Getting out from bed is hell of a struggle, and after that I have to brush my teeth, which is also tiring, especially my contamination OCD makes it worse.
bruv sorry I just realised I started venting in here
 
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