How to make peace and accept your fate

[eternalmelancholy]

It has been a long journey to this point but I think this is the end of the road for me. I would like to give myself a moment of peace before I go through with it. Is there a way to go out with a clear conscience instead of going out in bitter resentment? I want to do this as a final act of self care but if it isn't possible then I guess there is nothing I can do about it.

 

[Lone_Gray_Wolf]

Is a very personal thing, pretty much up to you, but you can always think on the good things you did, on the pain you will no longer feel and come to terms with yourself in silence.

 

[8evergo]

humbly you have to annoy your fate and humbly you go but let it come Suicide is not a sin but an aid in humiliation

 

[Naufrago]

I'm disturbed by the idea of something or someone who controls our daily lives. I don't believe in the idea of fate, but to achieve peace, I believe in forgiveness. Forgive those who hurt you and forgive yourself. This is almost impossible to do, but practice leads to habit; the habit takes the actions, the actions lead to our destiny.
If I could do at least half of that, much of my depression would be cured...

 

[FuneralCry]

I feel at peace with my decision. I have accepted my fate, suicide is inevitable. There is nothing for me in this life and all I want is to be free from this world. I know that nothing would ever make me want to live. In death I will be able to find the peace that I am unable to find in this life. It is the end to all suffering. I do not know how to 'make peace', this is just the way that I feel. If only it was easier to actually ctb. It requires a lot of courage and even know I may want to die, we are programmed to survive.

 

[ClownMe]

Are you ctb soon @eternalmelancholy? You will be missed here. As for what brings me peace, it sounds cliche but I find solace in the fact that everything in this life is temporary, good or bad, this existence doesn't last forever.

 

[demuic]

For me, these negative feelings will exist for as long as I am alive. Death is the only way to escape all burdens and suffering. I will be glad to finally be rid of this world.

 

[corpse_prince]

There's a thread here I bookmarked that might be relevant. I'm linking it below.
Make peace with dying.

 

[everydayiloveyou]

What has helped me is seeking recovery. I've tried to recover many times. I've been taking meds since I was so desperate, but they don't work.

Do the things you want to do, that are within your abilities. Try new things and focus on yourself. Have a plan and be prepared, think of this logically and not as a spur-of-the-moment thing. When I go, I will have all of my ducks in a row and I know I will be making my decision after many earnest attempts at changing my life around. But ultimately, none of them worked and most of the time doing the things that were supposed to make me feel better ended up in worse things happening. Mental illness of this severity will never go away, especially not if youve put effort into treatment and it hasnt worked. So, I will die by suicide.

I've considered it during the best of times and during the worst of times as well, and it always feels like the logical conclusion to my life.

If you are inclined towards religion or spirituality that might also help if your worries are about life (or lack thereof) after death.

 

[Journeytoletgo]

I'm sorry you're suffering @eternalmelancholy. In order to make peace, I don't even have the answer. It's sad that life turned you towards this direction. I hope you find peace no matter your decision.

 

[BottomlessPit]

I struggled with my conscience and inner turmoil at some point, but now I find myself in a certain headspace where all obstructing tendencies have vanished. I can't explain how I got there, I think it's individual to every person. I'd recommend writing down all your conceptualizations and beliefs in a very concise manner, so as to gain clarity of mind.

 

[motel rooms]

Is there a way to go out with a clear conscience instead of going out in bitter resentment? I want to do this as a final act of self care but if it isn't possible then I guess there is nothing I can do about it.

Suicide can be a final act of self-care even if you can't get rid of bitter resentment... I've read your recent posts & your resentment seems perfectly legitimate to me.

 

[Stopthepain]

I guess not being able to find any sort of peace in this existence anymore is the reason to wanna ctb. I am too sick to find Comfort in anything and think this wont change even in my last act.

 

[Butterflyfree]

Is a very personal thing, pretty much up to you, but you can always think on the good things you did, on the pain you will no longer feel and come to terms with yourself in silence.

@Lone_Gray_Wolf I'm trying to come to terms with myself in silence, but it's so very painful. I am CTB end of November so not much time left.

I feel at peace with my decision. I have accepted my fate, suicide is inevitable. There is nothing for me in this life and all I want is to be free from this world. I know that nothing would ever make me want to live. In death I will be able to find the peace that I am unable to find in this life. It is the end to all suffering. I do not know how to 'make peace', this is just the way that I feel. If only it was easier to actually ctb. It requires a lot of courage and even know I may want to die, we are programmed to survive.

I am CTB end of November. My pets with me on the same day. This is the most difficult part for me. Because I can not leave them behind to suffer. They deserve better then that. I am in absolute agony. I have never felt pain to this extent.

Are you ctb soon @eternalmelancholy? You will be missed here. As for what brings me peace, it sounds cliche but I find solace in the fact that everything in this life is temporary, good or bad, this existence doesn't last forever.

@ClownMe That is true. I am CTB end of November after Thanksgiving. Everything in this life is temporary. Waiting is only avoiding what will come later regardless. The only difference is the amount of suffering one is willing to endure between now and then. In my situation there is zero quality of life left.

 

[eternalmelancholy]

Thanks everyone for your kind words. I want to thank everyone here at SS for sharing your stories and thoughts. It is unfortunate we had to meet under these circumstances. While our encounters were brief they really helped in more ways than you can imagine.

The past couple days I tried really hard to make peace with ctbing. But maybe it isn't something that can be forced. So instead I accepted that maybe making peace is not necessary to die. It would be nice but in the end it does not matter. Thanks once again everyone.