How to deal with being short

[Damian]

there's a guy i know who is 5'4" and is sleeping with a new girl every month so i don't think it's a dealbreaker (he's like 5/10 attractive so idk)

i don't have advice just anecdotal stuff

I hate anecdotal stuff because they have no value. I was just looking for cope.

 

[mafuyu]

I hate anecdotal stuff because they have no value. I was just looking for cope.

well u say you'll never have a gf, i don't think that's true. i'm short but i'm not a guy so i can't really speak from experience or anything. i think it's a disadvantage for sure bc a lot of women seem to care abt height (i don't, so i don't get it) but there is always someone out there who likes things you hate about urself.

 

[melwarson]

Hi. I am a very short man and although I often think about death I am not in a position to take my own life and I want to try to cope somehow. My question is for people in a similar situation to mine. How do you deal with the fact that you are shorter than almost every guy you pass on the street and that you will never have a girlfriend? Thank you

I hope this doesn't come across the wrong way but I'm a woman. I'm 5'7" so I'm considered taller than the average woman. I'm definitely not conceited but men find me attractive. I get asked out regularly. Anyway I have dated men who were my height and one who was shorter. I know lots of women are shallow but there are women who aren't. Any woman who would not be with someone because of their height isn't worth your time. The right woman won't care. Hang in there. Also guys who are shorter usually are better at gaining muscle mass so that's nice. I'm a gym person so just thought I'd mention that.

It's really sad that it doesn't matter how intelligent you are, how much you earn and that you are just a good man. Everything is ruined by hour height.

Actually this is what makes mo so suicidal, because my personality doesn't matter, what I will do doesn't matter. At most I can be a friend, not a boyfriend.

Personality absolutely does matter. So does intelligence. I can't tell you how many men I've lost interest in because they weren't intelligent and had no personality. It's a huge turn off. And they were very attractive and well off financially.

 

[Damian]

I hope this doesn't come across the wrong way but I'm a woman. I'm 5'7" so I'm considered taller than the average woman. I'm definitely not conceited but men find me attractive. I get asked out regularly. Anyway I have dated men who were my height and one who was shorter. I know lots of women are shallow but there are women who aren't. Any woman who would not be with someone because of their height isn't worth your time. The right woman won't care. Hang in there. Also guys who are shorter usually are better at gaining muscle mass so that's nice. I'm a gym person so just thought I'd mention that.

Personality absolutely does matter. So does intelligence. I can't tell you how many men I've lost interest in because they weren't intelligent and had no personality. It's a huge turn off. And they were very attractive and well off financially.

personality matters in deeper relation, when a man isn't rejected by his height but a chance for him is given. But for "first impression" only physical attributes are important, like height, face, frame etc.

you hate about urself.

I hate it only because it makes my life so hard in many aspects that it makes me suicidal and this won't change. Even when I would be so lucky that I find a gf, I will be self-sabotaging myself. I will be wondering why she did she choose fuck**g manlet when there were many more taller options.

 

[melwarson]

I hope this doesn't come across the wrong way but I'm a woman. I'm 5'7" so I'm considered taller than the average woman. I'm definitely not conceited but men find me attractive. I get asked out regularly. Anyway I have dated men who were my height and one who was shorter. I know lots of women are shallow but there are women who aren't. Any woman who would not be with someone because of their height isn't worth your time. The right woman won't care. Hang in there. Also guys who are shorter usually are better at gaining muscle mass so that's nice. I'm a gym person so just thought I'd mention that.

Personality absolutely does matter. So does intelligence. I can't tell you how many men I've lost interest in because they weren't intelligent and had no personality. It's a huge turn off. And they were very attractive and well off financially.

Well that depends. I've gone out with men I thought were very attractive but their personality was awful so it didn't last long. I didn't have sex with them or anything close. If a woman gets to know you and likes your personality then your height won't matter. So everything isn't about the first impression. I think you mentioned you are 22. That's very young. There should be lots of opportunities to meet women. School, work, the gym, church. I know lots of people who were friends first before they ended up getting into a relationship.

 

[Damian]

If a woman gets to know you and likes your personality then your height won't matter

If she likes only my personality but i'm not physically attractive for her, then I will be her friend.

That's the difference between friend and boyfriend. Friend has good personality but is not physically attractive, boyfriend has both.

 

[melwarson]

If she likes only my personality but i'm not physically attractive for her, then I will be her friend.

That's the difference between friend and boyfriend. Friend has good personality but is not physically attractive, boyfriend has both.

Not for girls. When you meet a guy as you get to know him he either becomes more attractive or less attractive. It's that way with everyone. I've gone on dates with men who could have been super models but they didn't have any thoughts in their head so I completely lost any physical attraction to them. I've also gone out with guys who I thought were ok physically but when I got to know them their personality was so attractive that they became extremely attractive to me. My last serious boyfriend was not tall, was almost bald and was a little overweight. His personality made him very attractive to me.

 

[Damian]

Not for girls. When you meet a guy as you get to know him he either becomes more attractive or less attractive. It's that way with everyone. I've gone on dates with men who could have been super models but they didn't have any thoughts in their head so I completely lost any physical attraction to them. I've also gone out with guys who I thought were ok physically but when I got to know them their personality was so attractive that they became extremely attractive to me. My last serious boyfriend was not tall, was almost bald and was a little overweight. His personality made him very attractive to me.

That's true what you said, but when it comes to scenario "physically not attractive", there is nothing more to change. When a girl just doesn't like how you look, it is something you can't compensate it in any way.

 

[melwarson]

That's true what you said, but when it comes to scenario "physically not attractive", there is nothing more to change. When a girl just doesn't like how you look, it is something you can't compensate it in any way.

That's just not accurate for women. Perhaps for men because they are wired differently. But women are more emotional. I met my last boyfriend online and when we met in person I wasn't very attracted to him. But getting to know him changed that drastically and I loved him more than I have anyone in the past. I promise you it can happen. I know it's not easy. I've struggled with relationships my whole life. I'm 45. My reasons are different but it's still been very difficult.

 

[painfullife123]

You can move to any of these countries

Ranked: The countries with the shortest people in the world

If you're over 5 foot 4 inches, here are the countries you should avoid if you don't want to feel like a giant.

www.insider.com

Or go for this operation

Men are paying $76,000 for a limb-extending surgery that involves breaking leg bones and inserting nails and screws

The procedure tricks a person's body into thinking it's still growing, allowing patients to eventually grow up to six inches taller.

www.google.com

Costs and hurts a bomb though..

 

[audison]

Hi. I am a very short man and although I often think about death I am not in a position to take my own life and I want to try to cope somehow. My question is for people in a similar situation to mine. How do you deal with the fact that you are shorter than almost every guy you pass on the street and that you will never have a girlfriend? Thank you

That's gotta be really hard as a dude but I think really the only thing you can do is embrace it. Just be sincere and genuine to people and don't go in expecting anything in return. If you fall into a relationship that's awesome, if not that's okay too. Just don't concentrate your entire self-worth on women and relationships, it'll just do you harm and honestly it really doesn't fucking matter.

 

[Damian]

That's gotta be really hard as a dude but I think really the only thing you can do is embrace it. Just be sincere and genuine to people and don't go in expecting anything in return. If you fall into a relationship that's awesome, if not that's okay too. Just don't concentrate your entire self-worth on women and relationships, it'll just do you harm and honestly it really doesn't fucking matter.

Short height affects every aspect of life, its not only about relationships with women. Its about how all people you meet treat you, how they respect you. You are actually constantly bullied.

 

[webawl]

Have you tried dating apps and putting your height in your bio? That way any woman you match with knows off the bat and you won't experience as much rejection since you won't match with people who aren't interested. You also mention in one of your responses that you'd experience a form of impostor syndrome if you entered a relationship, which I think could pose an issue. Women are more interested in your personality, and being this insecure about height once you're in a relationship is what would drive a woman away, not the height itself. Own up to it! You are you, and with some self-confidence you'll find that your height is not as crippling as you may think.

 

[Damian]

Women are more interested in your personality

Cope

self-confidence

Self-confidence doesn't exist when 99% of young men are taller than you and many women are too.

 

[Leastofall]

99% women don't have any issue with a shorter guy, but they absolutely will have issues with a guy who obsesses over his height and projects his insecurities outwards.

2 of my close friends are pretty short and about the same looks-wise, one of them has no problem getting dates and is now in a fairly serious relationship with a girl who's very good looking and has a successful career. He's got to where he is by being a genuinely kind dude and not worrying too much about is insecurities, instead just working on what's within his control . My other friend is obsessed with thinking all his dating woes are due to his height (when really it's because he has no hobbies and pretty much ignores any woman that's not literally a model), so he self sabotages every relationship opportunity by failing to see what he actually needs to do.

I'm pretty weird looking, but never had an issue finding a relationship because fundamentally most women are very willing to overlook physical flaws if you're a decent human being and put an effort into giving a shit about your partner.

Work within what you can control. Also you're arguing with women in this very thread who are telling you height doesn't matter... like dude... consider seeing women as humans with their own preferences rather than arguing with them and building up this imaginary idea of "what women want" as if they're a monolith. The argumentativeness and unwillingness to move past your own shit is the turn-off... not your height. I guarantee.

 

[fatigued]

Do you mind telling us your height? I have heard stuff like this before and then the guy will say he is 5'7" and I'm just confused because that's not short imo. What are you working with?

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

Do you mind telling us your height? I have heard stuff like this before and then the guy will say he is 5'7" and I'm just confused because that's not short imo. What are you working with?

I imagine he's around 5'3" simply because that's the height used in an example.

 

[fatigued]

I imagine he's around 5'3" simply because that's the height used in an example.

Most girls I know just want someone who is taller than them. There are an exceptional number of women who are 5'2" or below, if that is your (@Damian) situation.

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

Most girls I know just want someone who is taller than them. There are an exceptional number of women who are 5'2" or below, if that is your (@Damian) situation.

Yeah I must agree, I've also met a few girls taller who will date shorter guys. I'm slightly below average height at 5'8" and there was this chick who wanted to date me, and she was easily 6 ft or taller. I didn't date her because she was uber-religious. Main point is, there are girls that would date him, and other short guys, even if it may take a bit of searching to find them.

Edit: I feel like it's worth noting I also live in an extremely small town, so finding a few people here seems harder than it would be in a larger town.

 

[Damian]

Most girls I know just want someone who is taller than them. There are an exceptional number of women who are 5'2" or below, if that is your (@Damian) situation.

Yeah I must agree, I've also met a few girls taller who will date shorter guys. I'm slightly below average height at 5'8" and there was this chick who wanted to date me, and she was easily 6 ft or taller. I didn't date her because she was uber-religious. Main point is, there are girls that would date him, and other short guys, even if it may take a bit of searching to find them.

Edit: I feel like it's worth noting I also live in an extremely small town, so finding a few people here seems harder than it would be in a larger town.

A girl wants a boy who will not only be taller than her, but also important how much this height difference is. I read a study that women are happiest when the height difference is about 20cm. That is, theoretically, some girl would have to be 140cm to have such a difference, which is impossible. I'm just done when it comes to dating, in life in general too. Actually, never began for me.

 

[fatigued]

A girl wants a boy who will not only be taller than her, but also important how much this height difference is. I read a study that women are happiest when the height difference is about 20cm. That is, theoretically, some girl would have to be 140cm to have such a difference, which is impossible. I'm just done when it comes to dating, in life in general too. Actually, never began for me.

i just told you that i know many girls who don't feel this way. you cannot speak for all women.

i am currently in a casual relationship with a guy who is about 6 feet (so less than 20cm taller than me) but i find his height annoying sometimes when kissing for example. if he was shorter it would be much more comfortable for me. i am just saying this to give any example to you that taller is not always better.

i have never given height any thought when forming a relationship with someone. obviously this is not true of everyone, but there are many of us who do not care.

i promise you that your insecurity about your height will do more damage to your dating life than your actual height.

short kings are all the rage right now. having confidence is what's attractive.

 

[Damian]

Over.
You're optionless at that height unless you get LL
You need to report the people on this thread gaslighting you. I'm sure if I went on their threads telling them their problems weren't real problems because I've provided anecdotal evidence of people under the same circumstances that don't face the aforementioned problems I'd get warned.

True. No options these days. Maybe that would have worked 30, 40 years ago. My father is about my height, mother is shorter. My whole family is short, but nobody cares about it actually.