how do i practice mindfulness when my mind is a rough place to be?

[bagel12]

most of my life problems stem from me distracting myself all the time and instinctively avoiding anything that feels inconvenient or gives me negative emotions. but i think if i was more aware of my thoughts and feelings in those moments, i would behave more thoughtfully and would feel happier.

to improve this tendency of mine, i want to practice mindfulness more often. unfortunately, my mental health has worsened and my poor decisions have messed up my life. whenever i am not actively distracting myself, i get a barrage of distressing thoughts about how much i suck, how badly i've fucked everything up, and how i should suffer.

i am really at a loss for how to practice being more mindful without subjecting myself to the garbage my brain throws at me. i was wondering if anyone here has any advice on how to overcome this problem. thank you for reading :)

 

[lohre2000s]

This is a problem I too have... I am way too anxious and don't take any medication so it's so so easy for thoughts to spiral into disgrace.

What works for me, is art.
Write a story, draw something, paint something, or watch a movie that terrifies or enchants you.

Try living a "theatrical" life if that makes sense - dramatize the most silly of actions giving it tremendous importance and scream instead of whispering. Whenever you feel a little sad, turn this sadness into a breakdown, because it's only after you break that you can rebuild yourself.

This sounds a little weird so let me try specifics: Don't try avoiding garbage your brain throws, become the garbage. Yes I know how pretentious and abstract this sounds. If you feel a little sad because you are lonely, dramatize it. Upscale this loneliness into a world crisis instead of letting it paralyze you.

If you want to meditate but can't focus, enlarge the importance of meditation. Fool yourself into believing you ARE mindful, and then you can be truly mindful.

God I wish I could explain it better... in other words I guess, you are what you think. If you want to be mindful, you are mindful. When offered a beer an alcohol addict may say "I'm quitting", a sober man usually goes with "I don't drink"