Help How to be honest without ending in a ward?

[AnonymousL]

So how can u tell ur psychologist ur planning or ur not sure on ending yourself when u get home in a week without ending up in a psychiatric ward / hospital?

 

[MathConspiracy]

Planning on ending it? You don't. I made a thread about this some time ago and most people advised against being honest. I know, it really hurts to keep it all to ourselves, but I think in most countries they will lock you up if they deem you a "threat" yourself. This may happen if you talk about any plans, intent, dates, methods, preparations…

Passive ideation is another thing. That's something you are relatively safe talking about, but you need to be careful not to mention anything I just listed.

Of course, if you want to be brought back to life, you should speak up. That's entirely your call.

Hope this helps, wishing you peace.

 

[Lo$t95]

So how can u tell ur psychologist ur planning or ur not sure on ending yourself when u get home in a week without ending up in a psychiatric ward / hospital?

Are you hoping your psychologist will give you medication or do you want support/to vent or what are you hoping their reaction will be?

 

[Jadeith]

How to be honest without ending in a ward?

Basically - you can't. I mean, if you actively plan and intend to kill yourself aka "Active suicidal ideation" and get honest with your therapist, it would be viewed as direct threat to your life and well being and your therapist is obliged to act upon it so if you want to avoid ward at all costs then it's better for you to leave that out of the conversation.

Other thing, already mentioned by MathConspiracy, is if you SHOULD. There was rather heated debate about that

how much can i tell my therapist?

im finally going through with getting professional help, i havent even started yet, but im supposed to in about 12 or so hours, im worried that if i tell them too much they will report it to my family cuz thats a thing right? also i dont live in the US but im fairly sure its almost the same...

sanctioned-suicide.net

Personally, i think that IF you are at active suicidal ideation stage AND you want to receive help THEN you require intensive treatment, including hospitalization so yes, you should be 100% honest, even if it will land you in the ward. Situation gets tricky tho when you are US citizen because american psych wards have notoriously bad reputation across this whole site and outside of it so it becomes a bit gray area whether it is the best course of action for you.

 

[gothbird]

It's a tightrope, honestly.

Psychologists (and especially psychiatrists) are mandated reporters, which means if you say something that makes them believe you're an immediate danger to yourself, they have to act—usually by sending you for a psych eval, or worse, a hold.

So the key isn't lying. It's framing. You can still be honest, but you have to word it in a way that doesn't trigger that "duty to protect" response.

What You Can Say Safely:

• "I've had thoughts of not wanting to be alive, but I don't have a plan."
  (This flags ideation but not intent.)
• "Sometimes I fantasise about being gone, but I'm not actively planning anything."
  (Passive ideation, not actionable.)
• "I struggle with suicidal thoughts when things get bad, but I've learned ways to cope with them."
  (Shows insight + self-regulation = less likely to trigger intervention.)
• "I feel unsafe in my thoughts sometimes, but I want to talk about it here rather than act on it."
  (Frames it as seeking help = safer.)

What Will Likely Get You Involuntarily Held:

• "I'm going to kill myself next week."
• "I have a method and I plan to use it when I get home."
• "There's nothing anyone can do to stop me, I've made my decision."

Those phrases remove doubt and make it sound like you're beyond intervention. That's what gets flagged.

If You Want to Talk About It Honestly Without Triggering Hospitalisation:

Try something like:

"I've been having a lot of suicidal thoughts lately, and I know they've been getting stronger. I don't have an immediate plan, but I'd like to talk through why they're happening and what's keeping me going."

Or:

"I won't lie, it gets really dark sometimes, especially when I'm alone. But I'm here because I want to understand that better—not because I'm about to do something right now."

That keeps the door open to honesty without giving them legal cause to lock it behind you.

If you do have a plan and you're just trying to vent or test your resolve, forums like this exist for a reason. Mental health professionals are bound by systems. They can't always respond to nuance, and that's not your fault—but it is something you have to work around if you don't want to be stripped of control.

Hope that helps.

 

[Rymrgand]

Situation gets tricky tho when you are US citizen because american psych wards have notoriously bad reputation across this whole site and outside of it so it becomes a bit gray area whether it is the best course of action for you.

This is a big problem, yes. Asking for help is great if you want help, but if you can stop your plans by yourself (so you won't try to CTB while you are trying to recover), I would recommend to try other kind of help, with your current therapist and psychiatrist.

My psychiatrist agreed that I needed a lot of therapy, but then they sent me to a ward where I had no access to therapy and basically no contact with a psychiatrist, who of course knew me way less than my usual doctor (I went voluntarily, tbh, so I don't blame them too much). After getting out, I was worse than before, it was horrible to lose my normal life to be in a "jail".

Some politicians from my country (I'm not American btw) are already trying to reduce the number of hospitalizations and substitute them for other ways to help people like us, since they admit that they can be traumatizing.

In any case, I mostly agree with your comment.

 

[AnonymousL]

Are you hoping your psychologist will give you medication or do you want support/to vent or what are you hoping their reaction will be?

I just don't wanna be alone with these feelings. I want to tell an actual person. Not people online. It's just not the same.

Putting me in a psych ward won't help anyways cause they're taking away the few things I'm still holding on to.

Personally, i think that IF you are at active suicidal ideation stage AND you want to receive help THEN you require intensive treatment, including hospitalization so yes, you should be 100% honest, even if it will land you in the ward. Situation gets tricky tho when you are US citizen because american psych wards have notoriously bad reputation across this whole site and outside of it so it becomes a bit gray area whether it is the best course of action for you.

I want intensive treatment without being taken away from the few things that keep me here on earth. Putting me in a ward is exactly what they shouldn't do if they wanna keep me alive.

Im not from the US but I have experienced my share of bad things in mental health care ..

It's a tightrope, honestly.

Psychologists (and especially psychiatrists) are mandated reporters, which means if you say something that makes them believe you're an immediate danger to yourself, they have to act—usually by sending you for a psych eval, or worse, a hold.

So the key isn't lying. It's framing. You can still be honest, but you have to word it in a way that doesn't trigger that "duty to protect" response.

What You Can Say Safely:

• "I've had thoughts of not wanting to be alive, but I don't have a plan."
  (This flags ideation but not intent.)
• "Sometimes I fantasise about being gone, but I'm not actively planning anything."
  (Passive ideation, not actionable.)
• "I struggle with suicidal thoughts when things get bad, but I've learned ways to cope with them."
  (Shows insight + self-regulation = less likely to trigger intervention.)
• "I feel unsafe in my thoughts sometimes, but I want to talk

• about it here rather than act on it."
  (Frames it as seeking help = safer.)

What Will Likely Get You Involuntarily Held:

• "I'm going to kill myself next week."
• "I have a method and I plan to use it when I get home."
• "There's nothing anyone can do to stop me, I've made my decision."

Those phrases remove doubt and make it sound like you're beyond intervention. That's what gets flagged.

If You Want to Talk About It Honestly Without Triggering Hospitalisation:

Try something like:



Or:



That keeps the door open to honesty without giving them legal cause to lock it behind you.

If you do have a plan and you're just trying to vent or test your resolve, forums like this exist for a reason. Mental health professionals are bound by systems. They can't always respond to nuance, and that's not your fault—but it is something you have to work around if you don't want to be stripped of control.

Hope that helps.

I've been going to my psychologist for 5-6 years now. So I can sense when I'm going too far and then I can quickly save myself from ending up where I don't want to. But I just can't find a way to be satisfied with what I can and can't say. I just wanna tell someone. I don't like to say this but I literally need someone to look at me and see that I'm not doing okay. To acknowledge that. I want someone (a person irl) to know that I got everything ready to go, that I just need the courage to get it over with. Literally a scream for attention as some people would call it.


I haven't tried a few you listed , maybe it could help. Thank you

After getting out, I was worse than before, it was horrible to lose my normal life to be in a "jail".

THIS. This is exactly what I mean!

I have a few things I keep doing that are keeping me alive right now. If they're enough? Who knows. On some days they are. And I have been surviving for years now.

Putting me in a ward would only take away those things from me and would make everything so so much worse!

Literally just an irl person that I can be honest with. Be 100% real with without them locking me up would already lift so much weight off of my shoulders. But this struggle to constantly think about what is allowed to say and what isn't is making it so much harder to really talk and feel relieved which is also what the talks with my psychologist should be doing.. but now they feel more like a chore, like I'm walking on egg shells.

 

[grapevoid]

I wouldn't tell her you have a plan if you don't want to go to the ward. But what might work is letting her know your suicidal ideation is worsening, it's extremely intrusive and you're worried that if you don't get help it will become a much bigger issue. Be honest with her about what you need to get better, specifically ask for an extensive outpatient program. Let her know that being completely removed from your environment would be counterproductive to your treatment.
What country are you in? Where I live, it is mandatory to report SI if the person has a planned method or a planned date to ctb.
Ps- when I was in the ward, they didn't even start counting my mandatory 3 days stay until I was "compliant" and stopped saying "I might" when they asked if I was going attempt again