I mean I did love myself until I started putting myself out there and just got rejected every time. I guess in some cases those two suggestions end up conflicting and being mutually exclusive.
And I'm fully aware that the more I get rejected then the more it messes with my self esteem and that of course makes me less attractive to women.
I don't think there's really an answer for some of us.
No i think you misunderstood me. I'm saying to put romance away entirely and figure out how to be happy without it.
This definitely sounds like a load of bullshit but it's the first step to removing your self worth from rejection and romantic love.
The key is understanding that you're not less of a human being even if you never date. Romance is not the gatekeeper of happiness. It's more of a want than a need.
I know this sounds harsh to hear and probably may have the opposite effect but it's really not the end of the world if you don't find romantic love.
There are plenty other kinds of love (honestly if you're failing in like every connection department:friendship, family, etc then that sucks and i can't really give more advice).
Basically what I'm saying is the way to come to terms with having no love is to understand that not being in a relationship is not the worst thing in the universe.
But i want to ask some clarifying questions, when you say you keep getting rejected, what kind of people are you getting rejected by?
For instance I'm very well aware I'm not attractive so I've never really tried to interact with people who are considered objectively attractive(because nost of them will treat you as less than a human being)
However I've been able to befriend everyone of a similar attractive level by just being funny, a good listener and having good hygiene.
I know this isn't romance but the idea is the same. You shouldn't really expect much from ppl not in the same "social class" as you.
This is not me insulting you by the way. I'm just being as genuine as possible.
The next most important thing is where you're looking and what you're looking for.
I genuinely think that anyone who's found their lifelong partner on a dating app is a case of survivorship bias. It worled for them so they're gonna tell everyone and that makes people think it will work for themselves which is usually not the case. The best way to meet people are at places you have no problem going alone.
A lot of dumbasses will tell you go to a club or a bar or a church to meet people but will not tell you that you still have to go to those places again after you manage to attract someone. Because the person you met there goes habitually, not to meet people. Also a lot of peope can tell when someone doesn't like what they love and it lowers attraction.
Idk if you live in the US, but society here as less and less places to meet people organically which is why a lot of people are feeling lonely, so while it may look like I'm saying everything is your fault that is not true at all. Human connection itself is being threatened by lack of free time, and places for adult humans to "play" and be free.
If you go to a public park alone everyone assumes you're a creep becasue in general humans are becoming scared of other humans and approaching others in public is apparently a crime now. (I'm not talking about following someone, or asking repeatedly after they say no)
And in general a lot of people used to meat during friend/family gatherings which most people just can't afford to do anymore.
It's tough out there. But saying don't lose hope does more mental damage than just accepting that love might not happen. I think best case scenario is to try to make the most of your life alone while being open to love. Cause finding love also doesn't mean happiness, like i imagine, if i got hit by a truck and didn't die and became paralyzed neck down or something, is there anything i wish i would've done besides being in love and i just do that.
