How tf do people make friends

[Liebestod]

I don't get it. I'm seeing people from high school making new friends on their instagrams meanwhile I basically don't talk to anyone. Like how is this possible. I don't see how people can make friends that fast.

 

[martyrdom]

Just by going out and talking to people, through mutual friends, mutual activities, etc.

 

[capi]

I dont know and i gave up.
well, actually i do know,
I became friends with some of these types of people.

They grew up with an entirely different reality. Socializing is as easy as breathing, because they have been doing soccer games since elementary, taking bus rides and yelling in groups with their pals, their family doesnt treat them as a burden, and actually taught them trends and provided financial stability while they can do whatever like learn instruments, that give them even more social leverage. They never once were genuinely afraid of going to school the next day.

Now how did *i* become friends with them? yea dont ask, and its not a good way anyways. I give up.

 

[scots]

The only times I made friends was when I was put with people in school projects and had to gamble that there was a connection or some form of relatability/likeability somewhere.

 

[BradGuy123]

Hello. Based on your post you may be in high school. I am old. Back when I was in high school we didn't have the Internet - much less smart phones. I am speaking from an adult perspective. I would say find people with common interests. I live in a big city. There are groups for sports, gaming, astronomy, politics, spiritual/religious organizations, hiking, etc. If you find people with common interests that common ground that you can talk about from the start.

 

[Pluto]

 

[JadedBeing]

Haven't made a friend since my parents divorced when i was 13 which triggered social anxiety in me. I'm 28 now and feel like no one likes me. Even if we share interests it's not enough it seems. People just avoid me. I don't blame them. Obviously i'm the Problem, not them. But idk what's wrong with me. I just want to hide from everyobe but at the same time i need people in my life. I can't do this shit anymore.

 

[shouldntbe]

It becomes much more difficult after high school.

 

[Forveleth]

I'm seeing people from high school making new friends on their instagrams

Please remember you have no idea what ia really going on in someone's life on social media. Social media us a highly curated glimpse that a person cbiises to let you see. Just because they are posting pictures of doing activities with people does not mean they are "friends". If the person on IG got into a tough spot, how many of those people would stand by them?

meanwhile I basically don't talk to anyone.

Well how do you expect to make friends with people if you do not talk to them?

First, stop comparing yourself and your life to anyone else's. Next, as has been said above, find people who like the same things you do. Join a local club if you can. Find online communities for your hobbies. This gets you to be around other people and socialize and also gives you something in common to share.

 

[Liebestod]

Hello. Based on your post you may be in high school. I am old. Back when I was in high school we didn't have the Internet - much less smart phones. I am speaking from an adult perspective. I would say find people with common interests. I live in a big city. There are groups for sports, gaming, astronomy, politics, spiritual/religious organizations, hiking, etc. If you find people with common interests that common ground that you can talk about from the start.

I just started college. It hasn't been that long since graduation and since things aren't forced anymore things seem harder. But maybe I'll see how it goes. I don't know how to "put myself out there".

 

[darksouls]

you only have friends when you are doing well and people can benefit from you

 

[BradGuy123]

I just started college. It hasn't been that long since graduation and since things aren't forced anymore things seem harder. But maybe I'll see how it goes. I don't know how to "put myself out there".

It's been a long time since I've been in college (again I'm old.) I don't know how big your college is. If it's a big college there are almost some kind of clubs or activities for people with common interests. Back when I was in school these kind of things were posted on the wall at the student center or posted as an ad in the newspaper (yes I know.)

 

[Throwawaysoul]

It's impossible especially if you don't already have friends.

 

[badatparties]

you only have friends when you are doing well and people can benefit from you

Honestly, i wouldn't want a friend like myself anyway. Friends are for people who actually enjoy life. Why should i burden someone like that.

 

[darksouls]

Honestly, i wouldn't want a friend like myself anyway. Friends are for people who actually enjoy life. Why should i burden someone like that.

I am sorry that you think that way, I think every good soul deserves a friend

 

[WhiteRabbit]

You have to put yourself in a situation where you're forced to talk to others. Other people have suggested joining a club, and I think that's a good idea. Socializing with new people is like building a muscle. It can be uncomfortable at first. You have to keep at it to see results.

 

[Terrible_Life]

I don't know I never had friends I would just call them "temporary interactions " for example in school some small talk kinda like "friends " . How are you? Fine and you? Also fine! Ok have a good day… thats how I'd describe most of my relationships to other people

 

[Forever Sleep]

My better friendships were made at college/ uni. I suppose out of mutual need. It can be a daunting time. When both of you are nervous, it can help to band together. But- mutual interests help too I think. So that you're both interested in what you talk about.

 

[iveseenfootage]

I always had "friends" throughout my life, but really just by larping as normal, I don't think any of them were deep or serious relationships. I was never anyone's "best friend," more just a guy in your chemistry class or something. The most depressing thing I realized as a kid was that the average person doesn't really think about these things. Maybe they aren't comically happy or anything, but they go through the ups and downs of life normally, making friends and forging normal relationships along the way, without really thinking about it. I'm just so envious of that.