how much do you want a quick and painless method?

[violetforever]

quick and painless is preferable but i feel like i could bear some pain as long as i know it would kill me for sure. this sounds dumb and probably not comparable to literal death, i know the men will think im being dramatic for sure, but the reason i say this is bc ive experienced horrible pain already:

my period cramps are so bad that when i had a kidney stone i genuinely just thought it was my period so i didnt go to the hospital until a day later. i still think my period cramps hurt more than the kidney stone! when i have my period the cramps in my stomach ache so bad that i throw up, have a cold sweat, get dizzy/weak, have a loss of vision and cry in pain. one time it was so bad i just laid underwater in the bathtub wishing to drown myself. i always put my fingers down my throat to force vomiting so the pain is over faster. its usually around 2 hours. i spend the rest of the day laying in bed regaining strength.

another time i had a UTI while i was on my period and i really felt like i was going to die from the pain. i was aching all over, freezing cold, shivering and shaking, sweating and so weak that i could barely move so i just laid on the floor.

i dont want to be in pain for hours to days like i was in those situations but if i had the chance to endure a similar pain for a few minutes in exchange for a 100% chance of death, id do it. is SN like this? not that i could ever get it. i imagine overdosing on pills might be the same too? not worth it to me after reading the megathread of methods to avoid either. a train is looking to be what i want but of course theres even a risk with that. why cant we just have an accessible guaranteed method?

(btw if anyone is wondering, i did find a remedy months ago to stop the torturous cramping. thankfully i havent been physically suffering for a while, just mentally)

 

[Forever Sleep]

It does matter to me. I did source SN when it was slightly easier to access. Although, it's just expired now. I'm hoping it will still be ok. But- I chose it because I felt like it was one method I could actually envisage myself using. (I'm waiting for my Dad to pass first though- hence the delay.)

My hope is that it will be only be uncomfortable- rather than excruciatingly painful. Although, I'll do my best to brace myself for it being painful.

I had gallstones- which were the worst pain I've experienced- with eventually a stone moving into the bile duct. I suppose it gives me confidence that I had had 13 very painful attacks before I literally couldn't bear it anymore. That was a combination of my hatred of and reluctance to see doctors and NHS incompetence. But- the fact that on the first attempt, it was a complete shock and I assumed it was a heart attack but, didn't call an ambulance gives me confidence I can hopefully wait an attempt out the same.

As to how far I'd go though- for a more peaceful method? Apparently, not that far! I did order SN with the fear of a welfair check at the back of my mind- which did eventually happen. I wouldn't risk breaking the law though- trying to obtain illegal drugs. I'd be wary of scams too. I'd be cautious about buying things. I considered inert gas but then, I don't fancy neighbours becoming nosey. Or, storing a large tank safely either.

So, I'm kind of fussy really- despite claiming I really want a peaceful method. The CO method also concerns me for the risk of hurting others or setting fire to everything. I wouldn't want to risk hurting others in order to kill myself.

I suppose the hope with a more peaceful method is that it will hopefully cause less disturbance- noise and visually afterwards. But then, I'm hoping it will also be more likely I'll see it through. If it's very violent I feel like I will either more likely consciously back out or, unconsciously- fight against it. I'm amazed people get partial hanging to work for example.

 

[FuneralCry]

Yes, to cease existing peacefully and finally be at peace from this torturous, cruel existence is all I could ever hope for, I'd just never wish for this dreadful existence of futile suffering that I just always saw as a mistake that just tortures existing beings with no limit as to how much agony one can feel, for me non-existence is just all that's positive.

I'd just always prefer the true permanent peace of non-existence over being tortured in this existence for decades longer just to face the agony of old age, the fact that the torture of existing can continue for much longer is just so horrific, this existence never should had been imposed and it's so terrible how it was. There's just so much evil in existing and the fact that the option of peaceful, guaranteed death is denied is such a terrible unacceptable crime that just causes way more torture, harm and suffering, I always suffer so much from existing in this horrific anti-suicide prison world where the suffering and torture of existing is seen as to force and prolong no matter what.

 

[Intoxicated]

I often think about how much pain people are ready to withstand in order to continue living and how little pain they are commonly ready to endure in order to end their so called "unbearable suffering" by ending own life. It looks like that in most cases the "unbearable suffering" is not really so "unbearable", it's rather the overly demanding nature of some people. They want a necessarily "painless" CTB method accessible with little to no effort like some people want to have a necessarily rich & beautiful spouse and luxurious life just because of their internal beliefs that they somehow deserve living in luxury (which typically produces hard butthurt due to mismatching between expectations and reality). Ironically, some of them mistype "CTB" as "CBT", which is probably what they actually need.

In my opinion, people who have strong reasons to die wouldn't find methods like plain full-suspension hanging or drowning (without using any means for reducing discomfort) terrifying to a degree that would deter them from killing themselves, although they may prefer a more comfortable method in case of its availability.

 

[Dinozauria]

When looking for a method I always looked for anything painless (doesn't really have to be quick). I think I'd be fine with pain for like a short time so long as I die right afterwards. Like, for example, my method is jumping into water. I'd hopefully die on impact, but if I don't, though it will be painful, I'll still die anyway so it doesn't matter too much to me

 

[violetforever]

I often think about how much pain people are ready to withstand in order to continue living and how little pain they are commonly ready to endure in order to end their so called "unbearable suffering" by ending own life.

yeah i see ur point