How do you really know when it’s time?

[Bruces]

My whole life has been an unmitigated disaster I'm just wondering when you really know it's time?

 

[valentine]

It's hard to know when it's time. I think for me, it's when I'm in so much pain that I'm not looking forward to anything anymore.

Drinking with my friends is always something I've enjoyed and it gets me through the week. Now it's starting to feel like a chore. I'd rather stay in bed. If I don't have anything to look forward to, I don't see a point in continuing.

 

[Shrek]

For me atleast: i have life insurance that runs out, so before that.
And generally, i know my life is heading downhill in the future. Winter and the dark is coming.

So i want to go just before my life completely dissolves.
When i know every day will be increasing accumulative suffering.

 

[Apricity]

For me atleast: i have life insurance that runs out, so before that.
And generally, i know my life is heading downhill in the future. Winter and the dark is coming.

So i want to go just before my life completely dissolves.
When i know every day will be increasing accumulative suffering.

Life insurance doesn't pay out if you CTB and the coroner lists the cause of death as suicide.

 

[Shrek]

Life insurance doesn't pay out if you CTB and the coroner lists the cause of death as suicide.

Oh, that is useful to know. Did not really matter. I might dissappear in the woods, but no guarantees to not be found, except going into the deep sea

 

[GreenMile]

For some people something happens and they ride an emotional wave and crash into CBT in that moment.

I think it's far more difficult when it's carefully planned out over time, at least it is for me, everyday I'm weighing up, is it worth another day of this ?

All I know is that I want to go late night/early morning because I love the dark and hate the light.

 

[zapffes_son]

For me, it's a deliberated, rational decision.

Financial, social, medical reasons. I'm in the process of accepting there's no way to have any kind of life worth living from this point on.

My reasoning is that I can stem the guarantee of an undignified life of increasing suffering by CTB.

One philosopher called a situation like this a "life not worth living" where suicide is a rational decision to make.

The hardest part is just coming to terms with it.

 

[GreenMile]

For me, it's a deliberated, rational decision.

Financial, social, medical reasons. I'm in the process of accepting there's no way to have any kind of life worth living from this point on.

My reasoning is that I can stem the guarantee of an undignified life of increasing suffering by CTB.

One philosopher called a situation like this a "life not worth living" where suicide is a rational decision to make.

The hardest part is just coming to terms with it.

This makes a lot of (painful) sense. Death is more valuable than life to me but still so unpalatable.

 

[Bruces]

There's absolutely nothing I look forward to in life anymore,my job is just utter boring garbage,I just go through motions nothing more,I'm 46 and havnt had a partner in well over 8 years,I live in a little village where nothing interesting ever happens,I am completely bored with all aspects of life!

 

[Ob La Dee]

My life is on a rapid, downward spiral. Everything that could go wrong has gone wrong. I'm estranged from 3 of my 5 kids and I have major financial concerns. Will be ctb with SN over the coming weeks. The decision has been an easy one for me, it was just a matter of finding the right method. I will have a friend observe and document my demise for the sake of others on this site.

 

[316]

For me it happened in 2 parts. There was a slow sort of acceptance at first, almost like ctb was an option.

Then at some point it just hit me that its my only option. It was one of those types of feelings where you feel the shock through your body, like it jolts you awake. Like a more intense version of that "oh shit" feeling when you realise you forgot something really important

 

[GreenMile]

The majority of posts on

For me it happened in 2 parts. There was a slow sort of acceptance at first, almost like ctb was an option.

Then at some point it just hit me that its my only option. It was one of those types of feelings where you feel the shock through your body, like it jolts you awake. Like a more intense version of that "oh shit" feeling when you realise you forgot something really important

This is totally how I feel

 

[FuneralCry]

For me, I will know it is time when there is a feeling of desperation and hopelessness. Only then I will be likely to overcome the SI, as us humans are programmed to survive which means that taking our lives is hard. I think I will have no more doubts at that point and I will not be able to think of anything apart from suicide. I know that ctb is inevitable for me someday and I have accepted that fact.

 

[Lost Magic]

Right now I am just killing time before I inevitably kill myself. I still have no clue as to why we are all suffering on this planet of pain. No clue.

 

[A_miStake_of_NATURE]

You just know it. It's a gut feeling. My time has already come……

 

[Anonymous_A]

Probably only a few know when it's time. It's easy to say it but when it's time, is probably moments before you actually ctb.
Remember folk, Suicide ideation is just thinking/planning it, Suicide is actually doing it.

 

[Jumping_realms]

Life insurance doesn't pay out if you CTB and the coroner lists the cause of death as suicide.

they mostly do after 2 or more years of holding the policy.

 

[Apricity]

they mostly do after 2 or more years of holding the policy.

Very interesting, thank you for that. I always thought suicide was never paid on. I'll have to check my policy more carefully. I'm assuming it's not the full amount though?

 

[Bruces]

I just wish I could decide or something happens that takes the decision out of my hands

 

[316]

I was thinking about this again and another thing that let me know it was time was constantly thinking about ctb'ing in every aspect of my life. Like looking at a tree and wondering if it's suitable for hanging, seeing a train pass and wondering if it's going fast enough to ctb, buildings, bridges, etc etc

 

[Originaldon]

I think it depends on your situation.

if your elderly / sick and have a terminal disease I believe this is the situation you would generally feel ready and at piece.

If you are depressed and suffering from mental health problems I think the time is when you give up. You won't ever feel ready it's more a question of able and willing than ready.

 

[Alwaysbadtime]

I think it depends on your situation.

if your elderly / sick and have a terminal disease I believe this is the situation you would generally feel ready and at piece.

If you are depressed and suffering from mental health problems I think the time is when you give up. You won't ever feel ready it's more a question of able and willing than ready.

It's not just elderly/sick, depressed and suffering from mental problems who want to off themselves. Financial issues are huge for everyone. Everyone needs money.

 

[GhostedToast]

There's not really an easy way to tell when it's time but for me it's probably when nothing makes me happy even for a split second or everything just feels like a constant horror movie with no breaks.

 

[everydayiloveyou]

Life insurance doesn't pay out if you CTB and the coroner lists the cause of death as suicide.

It depends on your policy. My policy will pay out the entire amount for a suicide so long as it occurs at least 2 years after the policy goes into force.

You will need to disclose that you experience suicidal thoughts during underwriting, down to the last time you had serious suicidal ideation. Your premium will be higher than normal, especially if you're not in treatment, have previous attempts, or have a history of self-harm. Having previous attempts can be grounds for denial. They can also reduce the payout (during underwriting, e.g. you ask for 500k but they will only sign you for 200k. not when your family makes the claim)

 

[Mr2005]

There's absolutely nothing I look forward to in life anymore,my job is just utter boring garbage,I just go through motions nothing more,I'm 46 and havnt had a partner in well over 8 years,I live in a little village where nothing interesting ever happens,I am completely bored with all aspects of life!

See I'd love to live in a little village because I don't want anything to happen. I don't crave excitement I crave peace so perhaps that's how I know I should be dead

 

[Originaldon]

It's not just elderly/sick, depressed and suffering from mental problems who want to off themselves. Financial issues are huge for everyone. Everyone needs money.

This would be a mental health problem….
It is either psychological or physical regardless of the cause.

 

[threadbythread]

When I wake up dreading the day and every possible humiliating and degrading things that could happen in it. Then the day itself feels like an unrelenting onslaught of threats and dangers, I can barely breathe or open my eyes in public. The sound of people speaking and existing around me feels like a war zone and I can't seem to tolerate it at all. Only then to spend the night awake drinking, trying to forget all of the ways I failed to exist in the world today, how alien and futile my attempts to feel human seem. When every time I wake up during the night I'm in a panic and think 'oh fuck I'm so afraid. God, please will someone help me'.

 

[Alwaysbadtime]

This would be a mental health problem….
It is either psychological or physical regardless of the cause.

Totally disagree. Money pays for shelter and food. Without this people can feel very bad. Unemployment on its own is NOT MENTAL or PHYSICAL.

Very simplistic and what our general society says....Financial is fucking huge.

 

[Zzzzz]

I think this can be difficult to know. I think current circumstances play a role, as well as lifelong issues. One thing I've noticed for myself is that the desire and determination for ctb can be incredibly strong, and a very good method planned out that is to my liking, but SI can still be strong enough to prevent it from happening. Hopefully I'll have the ability to overcome SI one day.

 

[down for the count]

When I come to the rational understanding that there is no hope of becoming a productive member of society.