How do you know with 100% certainty it's your time to ctb?

[HereToday]

Was there a specific moment which confirmed it to you? For me this moment was just now, when I cried at midnight on new years. I feel like this is confirmation that it's the right thing for me, and I can go in peace now (or when my damn SN arrives)

 

[HannahB]

You can never be 100% certain about anything. For all we know the whole point of existance is to ctb and you were supposed to do it years ago. Until we figure out existence everything exists in a grey area of probability.

 

[mediocre]

Not a specific moment but repeatedly being let down by the healthcare system and people in general has really taken its toll to the point where I feel like it's my only option now.

 

[Saddad]

I guess when you are drawing your last breath or just as you loose conciousness

 

[goldenrods]

you never fully know

 

[Scooter]

After countless times of trial and error. Seeking help and betterment only to be met with failure. Even when you give it your all life doesn't seem to change.. that's when you know

 

[waterbottleman]

You can never be 100% certain about anything. For all we know the whole point of existance is to ctb and you were supposed to do it years ago. Until we figure out existence everything exists in a grey area of probability.

Yup, and this my friends is one really shit thing about life.

Life loves to tease our hopes based on small probabilities and we as fools fall for It over and over again. Life and nature are cruel.

 

[lostandunfound]

I don't know. I also spent my New Years eve crying, while I was staying in a mental hospital. The crying was so bad that the next morning I woke up and my eyes were swollen. This was two years ago and yet I'm still here. I think it could be easier to know once you're older. Being younger makes it hard because you have the probability of it getting better in time toying with your decision.

 

[Quarky00]

I know it's my time because I went over my way to fix things, gave it 150%, for years - no single moment rather gradual - much like mediocre wrote.

I'm quite sure I'll cbt yet can't say 100%. More like 99.9% :)
I have to prove myself there's no other way, and any possible chance was considered, up until the last minute. (strange)

 

[BabyYoda]

February is a very tempting time for me to CTB. But I know that isn't a good month for me to do it due to lack of preparation time. Most probably the best time will be after I graduate, but who knows?

 

[BPD Barbie]

Maybe that I tried at 14, again at 19 and 10 years later I still feel the same urge and desire. While my mental health might have entered quiet periods from time to time it's never fully gone it's always lurked and I think it always will. 3rd time lucky, or so they say.

 

[APharmaDestroyedLife]

It won't be new years here for 6 more hours, but it will be the same for me, i hope to be asleep before midnight or else the tears will come.. I will look around my empty house and remember all the great new years in the past. But this year I will be alone, there will be no gathering of friends and family, and no one the kiss at midnight.

That doesnt really answer the question you asked, but I want to let you know there are a lot of us out here in the world suffering in 1 way or another, and if you ever want to talk please feel free to message me.

I think the answer I have to the question you asked is : "When I no longer have to ask the question"

 

[Final Escape]

I have no idea, not sure why the hell im still here. Apparently I'm more scared of death than I thought. Extreme high threshold for psych pain I guess lol! Or I'm just a masochist and waiting to see how bad it gets and then I'll do it lol!

 

[WhyIsLife56]

You can never be 100% certain about anything. For all we know the whole point of existance is to ctb and you were supposed to do it years ago. Until we figure out existence everything exists in a grey area of probability.

There is no value in existence. Or else people wouldn't be committing suicide left and right.

Yup, and this my friends is one really shit thing about life.

Life loves to tease our hopes based on small probabilities and we as fools fall for It over and over again. Life and nature are cruel.

That's because life doesn't care about you. It only cares about reproduction.

 

[JustVisiting]

i don't want to live like this any longer. that is how i know.

 

[Moonicide]

The fact I was upset that I couldn't ctb before 2020. I'm always thinking about death and ending it... I've been very calm about it all. I've written all my goodbye letters. Have put my things in boxes. Spending all my money, etc. I have a friend here that will be documenting my ctb live so I can help SS for educational purposes with my death.

 

[TheEndof]

There have been several moments in my life when I felt it was about 90% time for me to go, but held onto hope that "things get better". It wasn't until something completely devastating but inevitable happened that I am now completely ready to go. Kind of confirmed that this ain't it and that at this point, it won't get better. Not for long anyway. And the moments when I feel better just aren't worth the overall anguish.

 

[imagineit]

I feel like it has been time and I'm really only delaying the inevitable. There is a lot to consider I feel like. Or I am making more out of what could be very simple. Reading this forum the last couple weeks has made me reconsider methods, for example. I suppose the longer this continues the more potential complications arise. I should have killed myself 7 years ago lol

I know it's my time because I went over my way to fix things, gave it 150%, for years - no single moment rather gradual - much like mediocre wrote.

I'm quite sure I'll cbt yet can't say 100%. More like 99.9% :)
I have to prove myself there's no other way, and any possible chance was considered, up until the last minute. (strange)

Tomorrow always holds the potential for a better today. I really believe in trying to fight for another day. I think there is something very instinctual and true about that. Contemplating your own mortality is peak human existence at the same time. I like to think everyone can possess the key, but I don't believe that to be true unfortunately. Trying to imagine a better tomorrow can at least offer a brief escape during hard times.

 

[PeaceisallIwishfor]

I think when you realize that life is no longer worth living, and sleeping becomes better than being awake. At least for me, all I'm waiting for is my N and then I am going.

 

[TAW122]

I have always had times where I've gotten close to CTB'ing but at the short turn of events or last minute surprise changes, I called it off. Two such examples were from 2019, once in March 2019, I told myself if things had gone to shit and soured, then I will CTB and cease to exist. Then another time in October 2019, if I failed to achieve my goal, then I'll CTB before 2020. Here I am, on New Years Day of 2020 still alive because I am not 100% ready yet.

I suppose to answer your question, it depends on the environment, the mood, your readiness, and of course having the means to successfully carry out your attempt.

 

[moodygrl]

I like digging threads:)

I know because I cant talk to anybody anymore. i simply lost all content and i just disgustingly sit around and wait for the time to come for me to take my bus.

Had celebrated my sisters birthday today, the whole family came. Im the weird antisocial aunt. never thought id become that but here I am.

 

[GoBack]

Weird antisocial auntie. That's me too. It crept up on me, and them, but here we are. I can't be this. Fuck this. But I can't change, just trapped in all directions

 

[BPD Barbie]

When I stopped enjoying things that previously gave me pleasure, when nothing around me made sense anymore and everything felt grey and dark.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

When my fear and illness and anxiety had led me to a point where I couldn't sit down or sleep at all due to the amount of adrenaline in me, I just placed and freaked out and had seizures all day and all night long. Fun times.
Strange thing is, I stuck around and I've been sleeping and sitting, reading, gardening.

 

[GoBack]

I paced around for so long without sleep or eating I've damaged my legs, hips and ankles. I actually wore myself out and still can't sleep. Doctors don't believe me, my mam has tried to tell them too. But nothin . Take this ssri that will keep you awake even more so and be on your way

 

[Isittimetogonola]

Knowing that I would never be able to live my life as it was meant to be. I would rather go into the unknown than to face that wall. I feel like I just wasn't meant to be. Just a freak accident that has more than generously paid the dues for absolutely nothing. The burden I feel that I place on others isn't fair to them as I see so much of their potential and none of my own.

 

[Tintypographer]

Dude, or Dudette, I don't think you can know for certain. In my case I plan to jump from a high place and I think during the fall I'll know that I'm definitely on the bus but I guess I won't know if it's really the right time or not.

 

[90sAesthetics]

It'll come to you. An overwhelming peace, readiness, knowingness.

 

[OrdinaryDay]

It'll come to you. An overwhelming peace, readiness, knowingness.

Thank you. I needed this

 

[Halnas]

After countless times of trial and error. Seeking help and betterment only to be met with failure. Even when you give it your all life doesn't seem to change.. that's when you know

just saw this because the thread got bumped and this really sums it up so nicely in one single sentence.