how do you feel right now? don’t even think about it, just type.

[darksouls]

sasu is the only place where I feel safe,
I have nowhere else,
I am afraid of losing even that

 

[Webcore]

Cold scared alone

 

[americanoomad]

Defeated that I'm back at this point again. I feel like I'm working so hard to coexist with my mental illness and find a healthy balance—I take my meds, I meditate, I journal, I socialize, I explore hobbies—and everything was okay for a few months. I thought I finally got the hang of things. Today, that insidious numbing feeling crept in again, and now I'm thrown back into the bottomless pit of wanting to hurt myself but feeling obligated not to hurt the feelings of those who love me. It's quite frightening how one moment I was feeling at peace and enjoying my day (literally musing to myself how nothing could go wrong), and within an hour I felt without purpose and completely numb. I know eventually I'll crawl out of this hole, and things will look up again, but I have no idea how long it'll take until that happens. I hate that no matter how hard I try to be "stable," my mental illness ultimately still takes over and messes everything up at any given moment.

 

[jojobanana]

tired and nothing at all

 

[TwistedNightmares]

Depressed and tired. I often question why I was brought into this cruel world.

 

[nitrogenous]

I feel hopeless and overwhelmed. People kept on telling me that everything will get better, but it hasn't been any better so far. It keeps on getting worse and worse. People say they care, but they never shown any act of care and when it comes the time where I can't afford my living expenses anymore, I'm truly alone. When I express my suicidality with immediate plan and means, not a single person gave a shit, not even my medical professionals. So, I guess, there's no hope anymore.

 

[darksouls]

as I lay dying,
all the burdens fell away from me,
I felt peace,
now all the burdens are back,
and they are unbearable,
why did I have to survive sepsis?

 

[IMAFRAIDDAVE]

so fucking frustrated. i should have been dead so long ago but i do not have the resources to get the materials needed for a guaranteed death. i am too afraid to attempt and fail. i just wish i could have some confidence and put all mt effort into succeeding

 

[CaramelAppleStars]

I wish I didn't have to go to school tomorrow. I feel an intense anxiety thinking about talking to the people there. I have friends there, but I wish I didn't sometimes. I hated when I was lonely, but I miss it so much now. I hate the words that come out of their mouths and I somehow find a way to get stressed out over the things they say.

Not to say they are bad people, I just can't stand human nature. I'm really fucking weird for that I think, but it's true. Humans can't live without social interaction though, and I can't stand it. This wouldn't be a problem if I was dead.

Not wanting to attend class is the only reason I am on right now. I don't want to sleep, but just sitting in the dark will make me think of everything that stresses me out.

 

[igrippedthewheel]

I'm so tired. I thought moving 2,000 miles away from where everyone I loved died or threatened me would help but now I'm just on the brink of homelessness constantly. I have turned away a lot of help because it really just never works. I only have a couple days of rent left so I'm jumping off a building in a week. I put a lot into this life and got nothing. Nobody here deserves me and I'm tired. I think of everything in my past and get so nauseous and angry and all therapists and people will tell you to do is get over it. This is me getting over it.

 

[cookji]

I feel so overwhelmed and lonely

 

[luckyduck]

I have this ever growing knot in my gut I can't seem to shake. I feel trapped.

 

[CatLvr]

Tired. Of the world and the mean, self-absorbed, egotistical people in it. Why are people SO mean?? Especially when you have tried to quietly do the right thing and step back out of their way. Not that I was in the way on purpose -- just how things worked out. But now they are trying to draw me into a drama-filled fuck around that I was trying to avoid. I guess they will figure it out eventually, by my lack of participation, but I am not playing. I am gonna go find a rock to crawl under.