how do you feel after a failed attempt?

[yourrealname]

i am determined to get it right this time so i'm trying not to reach out to friends or anything. i think i've failed loads of times because i wasn't really taking it seriously and it was a blatant cry for help.

i'm trying to do the night night method this time, and any time i think about failing, it makes me really sad. i can't imagine having everything figured out like this and failing.. and the possibility of being left brain dead or paralysed or whatever makes it worse cus then i won't be able to try again.

i feel weird reading about people that feel grateful after they survive because i don't know how that would feel. i think surviving this will just make me feel disheartened because i would have to plan everything over again or be hospitalised.

 

[FuneralCry]

The thought of failing ctb is so horrifying. It's what holds me back from attempting. I wish that we lived in a world where we all had the option of a peaceful and reliable exit. I think that personally I would only attempt if I felt confident and certain that the method would succeed. I think that a lot of people who apparently feel grateful that they survive are just pretending to feel that way in front of others. I haven't really heard of anyone succeeding with the Night Night method but I wish you the best with what you are doing.

 

[takemenowpls]

At first I just felt sad. But when I got home I seen why I failed. I threw up all the pills. And to make things worse after finding SS I found out that even a truck load of benzos won't kill you. So yeah, after 3 days in the ER and 7 in a nut house…. how did I feel? Like an ass. What's worse is I really thought taking a lot of Xanax would do the trick. I sent all my friends goodbyes. In my mind I thought I was going to die. Wasn't even close. But thanks to this forum I won't fail again.
I too wish for a painless and quite way out but sadly one has to suffer to end this miserable existence. That's why I too am terrified.
I too wish for a painless and quite way out but sadly one has to suffer to end this miserable existence. That's why I too am terrified.

 

[chronicallybroken]

I feel numb. Like a zombie. Like the suicidal thoughts have gone. I need to feel them again to push me to do what needs to be done.