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jexixa

Member
Apr 3, 2024
9
about a year ago i decided to ctb using my preferred method (tourniquet on the neck) however every time i went to do it for real (excluding rehearsals), the "wishes" or the things i was looking forward to in life prevented me from going all the way, and so day by day i figured the only option was to convince myself and truly "give up" on all of them, realizing that they are out of my reach and will never happen.

fast forward a year something happened and now im somehow posting in the recovery section which i thought i would never do, but here we are and now nothing brings me joy anymore, since i had truly convinced myself i was going to die and so gave up on everything that could possibly bring me joy or happiness.

anyone else been in a similar situation? what would (or could) one do to "live" so to speak and enjoy the things they previously did?
 
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timf

Enlightened
Mar 26, 2020
1,363
Things can narrow down as one contemplates suicide. As one divests interests and disengages from activities it can seem to confirm a decision towards suicide. This is a sort of emptying a life. In a process of recovery one faces reigniting previous interests and finding new ones. In a way, there is an opportunity to dabble with a variety of things such as art, writing, music or activities such as sport, camping, hiking etc.

If it is difficult to rekindle old interests, it might be better to start with discovering new ones. It can also be good to experiment with things that involve other people like volunteer work, book clubs, or card playing. In a way you are able to build a new life.