How do you emotionally prepare family?

[helpmehelpme]

I am wanting my mother to accept more the eventuality of my self-demise. I would like to prepare her. Has anyone had this kind of talk where yout action isn't imminent, but you want to lay the groundwork?

 

[all_pointless]

Honestly don't think there's anything one could do to prepare parents. I hope you somehow come in peace with it. I am in the same situation.

 

[GrassFields]

I'm in the difficult situation where if I don't opt for assisted death (MAID) or CTB on my own, my disease progression will eventually take my life in an absolutely horrendous way. Both of my parents are aware of the outcome of my illness, and I have brought up MAID or CTB with both of them. It's always a gut-wrenching conversation with them, my wife, and my family, but they understand my perspective.

I don't think that any parent can really be entirely prepared for the demise of their child, but openly and rationally discussing my viewpoints with my parents really helped them understand my line of thinking. Whether I opt for MAID or any form of non-disease progression death, I would want my family to be with me when I take that step. It would give me peace having them all by my side as I transition. I understand that I might be in the minority on this site, with most being unable to CTB with their family or friends by their side.

 

[Exhausted1705]

I'm in the difficult situation where if I don't opt for assisted death (MAID) or CTB on my own, my disease progression will eventually take my life in an absolutely horrendous way. Both of my parents are aware of the outcome of my illness, and I have brought up MAID or CTB with both of them. It's always a gut-wrenching conversation with them, my wife, and my family, but they understand my perspective.

I don't think that any parent can really be entirely prepared for the demise of their child, but openly and rationally discussing my viewpoints with my parents really helped them understand my line of thinking. Whether I opt for MAID or any form of non-disease progression death, I would want my family to be with me when I take that step. It would give me peace having them all by my side as I transition. I understand that I might be in the minority on this site, with most being unable to CTB with their family or friends by their side.

Is it legal? Having them watch you whilst you ctb, knowing you are going to do it and not saving you?

 

[helpmehelpme]

Thanks for your deeply felt responses. We do our best to honor ourselves and honor family. I just was talking with my mom about it, and she said I'd be doing a tremendous disservice to people. "They'll understand" is what I said. And I believe that. It is hard to be in this place, but I am and am thankful I can put it out there and hear how you deal with similar circumstances. I am committed to getting to my 50th birthday in late August -- a promise I made to myself -- and then all bets on living are off. Until then I need to focus on getting affairs in order somehow with dignity and care. Write a will, etc. With the latest break-up I have experienced, I am broken beyond what I was already, and now it's crawling around on shards of myself, bleeding out and bleating out the worst things I could say about myself. God bless all of you. As the saying goes, "Suicidal people are just angels who want to go home."

 

[PDAnnie2610]

I've spoken to the sister I'm closest to, and she accepts (grudgingly) that I may choose to exit this way. But I'm also at a loss how I can make it less painful for certain close friends. Maybe letters addressed to them might help?

 

[helpmehelpme]

I've spoken to the sister I'm closest to, and she accepts (grudgingly) that I may choose to exit this way. But I'm also at a loss how I can make it less painful for certain close friends. Maybe letters addressed to them might help?

I figure letters can only help survivors, and they help the writer too, I imagine.

 

[Anxietykillsme]

I had a chat with my mum and dad around this time last year and basically said I was tired of living and of course they were upset and looking into getting me help.
Since then I decided to try better to hide how I was feeling to not raise any more suspicions.

 

[GrassFields]

Is it legal? Having them watch you whilst you ctb, knowing you are going to do it and not saving you?

If I opt for MAID in my country or in a European nation that allows foreigners assisted death, it would be legal. I would have to research the precedent of CTB on my own terms and if there would be legal implications for my family if they're with me.

 

[bokete]

I just said that if I decided to kill myself, it wasn't her fault. My sister knows how bad I'm now, and I'm not pretending to be okay anymore.

 

[Brokenwithbpd]

I've been telling my mom for years. It breaks her heart. She cries, says she will call 911. It brraks
My heart. My mom is my everything

 

[Aap]

While I obviously don't know your familial situation, I would suggest your moms reaction should indicate you should tread cautiously with her in the sense that her desire to keep you here "just one more day" may over ride her desire to allow you to have a peaceful exit. Your suggestions regarding notes given after the fact may be the way to go in that case.

just my observationfor what little it is worth.