Help how do i stop lying

[mashiroll]

ive. tried everything. everything. i just cant fucking stop. its gotten to the point ive attempted suicide over it. i know ill probably succumb to my attempts one day, but i cant live with myself for the very little time im alive.

my earliest memory in my first fucking school was lying, to the point i had to be pulled out. and it just repeats, over and over again. i just feel psyhically ill if i cant mutter out a lie.

ive tried EVERYTHING: therapists, telling ppl thats a lie (couldnt work cus id throw myself into a panic attack before i did), counselling, religion, journalling, identifying and avoiding triggers, calling hotlines, etc. ive even tried cutting myself for every lie i told. i was so close to jumping off the balcony when my friend found out i lied to her. i would bite my tongue/lip so hard to the point it bled. i dont know what to do with myself anymore. i feel like theres no hope. im trying the best i csn to not stab myself over this, ive picked up smoking to curb the stress, please help

 

[LunarLight]

I feel for you. I lie a lot, including to my partner, and it hurts to feel like you're not a trustworthy person.

 

[mashiroll]

I feel for you. I lie a lot, including to my partner, and it hurts to feel like you're not a trustworthy person.

heavy on the partner part. i have a friend (no hate) but she just doesn't believes im trying to stop lying. i dont blame her, but god that made me feel so hopeless. i just want to be normal

 

[FadingSentinel]

I get you, I have similar issues (Definitly feel it's related to events when I was a kid that had me lieing very often). I still do it a lot often without me realizing until I already said it. After which I Immediatly blame myself for doing it again often for no reason at all nor any benifit. It had gotten better for me though. I try to be concious of what i say and try to make a concious effort and choice if I actually want to lie or not. It's nothing foolproof but giving yourself the choice before doing anything can lower the rate and amount you lie and work from there.

And don't forget it's okay to fuck up, as long as you keep the goal to better yourself.