Discussion How do i stop feeling envious of everything?

[Leonard_Bangley39]

It doesnt matter what it's about, every time i see or hear about someone around me doing something, i always feel envious. even if in retrospect, I've done things in my life that others would feel envious about, like spending a month in tokyo.

Its hard for me to join existing groups cause i always feel out of place and seeing everyong paling around makes me feel envious. hearing about other's relationships makes me envious. hearing about other's trips makes me envious. hearing about other's income makes me envious.

And i dont want to be this way because feeling this way just makes me a shitty person through and through. even if i dont always show my envy on my face or express it, i still feel it and it still holds me back from doing lots of things. i dont want to be a bitter, negative, envious person. nobody wants to be friends with a person like that. not even me.

 

[Dies Ultima]

Sounds like a self-worth issue.

Your worth is not what others are but what you are. Self-worth issues suck mostly because it is a thing about your self-perception, and it is fucked up to change that, but not impossible.

You are good as you are, you only need to start focus on yourself instead of the others.

 

[_Gollum_]

I feel you, I also struggle a lot with envy, mostly having to do with body image.

The only thing that has helped me has been to reframe my envy and turn it into second-hand happiness for the other person. So for example, if I find myself thinking "I wish I looked like her", I try to shift that around and instead say "Good for her that she has those gifts and that she's benefiting from them." What a blessed thing that she can enjoy that for herself.

It's not a panacea, and it doesn't stop the envious thoughts from coming up in the first place, but I have found that it dials down the more "toxic" aspects of jealousy (ie. the bitterness you mentioned).