how do I get the courage?

[ladylord]

I live in so much pain everyday, nothing is good in my life and I'm done with that.
I live an emotionless dull life and have no joy in anything and I believe in the rights of making my own choices to my body.
I do wanna leave this world, it is not meant for me and I feel like I was born in the wrong place,

but I have a problem which is I'm scared, how do I get this courage? how do I just leave and stop feeling and be in peace forever?

 

[nettspend]

What are you scared of more specifically? Pain? Hell? Nothingness? Leaving behind your family?

 

[ladylord]

What are you scared of more specifically? Pain? Hell? Nothingness? Leaving behind your family?

I'm scared of nothingness like what happens then and also the pain

 

[DignifiedGrave]

I'm scared of nothingness like what happens then and also the pain

Hey, im in the same position. Ive rehearsed my method many times and got really close once but feel stuck. Im also afraid of nothingness, and i desperately wish at times for like an afterlife, a place where you're free to explore and do whatever in eternal euphoria because there's genuinely things about life id miss or am not ready to give up. Maybe you have some of these too? I think its the potential for a life worth living. Maybe a afterlife would offer that and then id be gone to tomorrow.