Help How do i gather the courage to ctb?

[Life is pointless]

I'm ready to ctb .
How do i gather the courage to ctb and overcome SI ? ANY TIPS would be welcomed tx .

 

[WornOutLife]

In my case, alcohol and sleeping pills/tranquilizers helped me to supress SI a bit.

 

[Abir_london]

Very important question! Just thinking of the end and drinking SN terrifies me

 

[Blue Rose]

Only focusing on carrying out your progress... Concentrating on your progress will help you not to feel any fear...

+ Even if you have little time, Please don't be hastened. As Ashley_31 said, I think it is not your time still too.

 

[Nicothe13th]

I'm ready to ctb .
How do i gather the courage to ctb and overcome SI ? ANY TIPS would be welcomed tx .

The right method

 

[Ashley_1988]

I'm ready to ctb .
How do i gather the courage to ctb and overcome SI ? ANY TIPS would be welcomed tx .

It is hard to find the courage to go through wit it..I´ve been there a couple of times. The most important thing is that u really want to die it- if you still have doubt don´t do it..maybe that's partially the reason why u are hesitating not only the basic SI?

 

[Symbiote]

No one can tell you how to overcome your SI because everyone is different. For me, I meditate and invite all the negative thoughts and memories into my heart and soul to where it overwhelms me. Leaves me in a catatonic state where relief is death.

 

[notjustpeachy]

I am worried about this also. I will use SN and was wondering if smoking a lot marijuana would have any negative impact on the process. I also normally take a 25 mg Nortriptyline nightly (that does make me a little drowsy) I was wondering if doubling or tripling my normal does would be OK to do and help with the SI.

 

[Nicothe13th]

Yeah smoke some weed and you'll probably end up enjoying your night, but being like wtf, why didn't I do it last night the next day.

 

[sorella santini]

I've wondered this myself and hope that I am in the right frame of mind when the time comes. I think being numb and not overthinking it will help.

 

[LaminarFlow]

I used to go skydiving at one point in my life and I remember the anxiety before my very first jump. I was wondering how it would feel, how I could possibly overcome the fear of jumping. Will I hesitate ? Is there some kind of countdown - 3, 2, 1, and you jump ? Do they push you out of the plane if you don't go ?? (they don't ).

I had all those thoughts cluttering my mind, all focused on the that very specific act of jumping that was somewhat scary ....

The instructors had an interesting way of helping the students deal with that. In fact, the jump itself is a step of a procedure they teach you to exit the plane. It is a succession of very simple but precise tasks you have to accomplish in order. You repeat the procedure on over and over on the ground until it becomes completely automatic. In real, it begins as the plane reaches the intended altitude.

It goes a bit like this :

put your goggles on,
check instructor 1,
check instructor 2,
check your altimeter,
(door opens),
smile (optional),
put one hand here,
put your other hand there,
shift your body into position and sit on the edge of the door,
nod to instructor 1,
nod to instructor 2,
smile again (if you can),
try to reach for the wingtip and GO ! You're flying !

The procedure doesn't stop there and immediately continues with all kinds of tasks you have to do during the fall to show that you are aware of your surroundings and (somewhat) in control. And maybe still smiling ....

[Side note :
After leaving the plane on my first jump I remember I was literally flabbergasted and froze for 3-5 seconds, trying to inhale and exhale at the same time, trying to take in all the sensations and figure out where the plane had gone, trying to grasp that we were now rushing towards the ground at 100 miles/h and that it didn't hurt at all, that it was unconceivably fun .... and that I better show the instructors I was still alive because I was already waaaay behind in the free-fall procedure.]

As far as getting out of the plane, I was very surprised how easy it finally was. I realized that once I started to execute the procedure I had already accepted the act of jumping, and that was even before they opened the plane's door !
Because it is one just step of a routine, because you concentrate on the tasks that are simple and well rehearsed, when you get to the jump it just follows naturally. Your brain does not have time to think. You just do it.

There are ways you can prime (trick?) your brain to do things that are otherwise scary ... Any therapist will tell you that.


Those were the good days.... Skydiving was awesome!

 

[Life is pointless]

I saw someone said manipulate SI but i don't know how to do that exactly ..

 

[Nicothe13th]

Yeah it's not an easy thing to do at all, there are methods that make it easier

 

[DivineMedicus]

You could theoretically embarrass yourself to such a colossal degree that the only reprieve from overwhelming discomfiture is suicide. Shit yourself in public, reveal all of your most perverted and deepest secrets to your family and friends, make a scene at work and promptly get fired, etc. Yes, these are some extreme measures, but suicide will seem immensely favourable by then.

 

[Nicothe13th]

That won't stop SI though

 

[DivineMedicus]

That won't stop SI though

Idk dude, I would personally off myself immediately if I asked my dad for a blowjob.

 

[Nicothe13th]

That's some hideous shit man

 

[GarageKarate07]

This thread got really dark and scary all of a sudden. Your point of self sabotage is well meant and understandable. What a way to go though. The stress alone would be gruesome! Although I think the self hate and addiction to stress is what keeps us all here in a way. Sometimes you only feel alive when there is pain. Forcing yourself to get pushed out has been a little bit of my method as well. I try not to hurt people by doing it but it still happens. Fucked up a job. Ignored my lover. Don't connect with family. In the end I kinda just hurt myself. These things really do not help with SI itself though. That's a huge monster to get over. Makes me wonder why so many of us are still here and have not just CTB by now. I can understand the people in recovery threads and trying to find a connection I guess. Im glad there are people in recovery here. It makes me happy to see them trying to go forward. I would say the usual suspects for SI. Alcohol drugs pills tranqs quick method etc.

 

[Abir_london]

You could theoretically embarrass yourself to such a colossal degree that the only reprieve from overwhelming discomfiture is suicide. Shit yourself in public, reveal all of your most perverted and deepest secrets to your family and friends, make a scene at work and promptly get fired, etc. Yes, these are some extreme measures, but suicide will seem immensely favourable by then.

Haha I did that at work and now I must day because I can't pay rent and bills without work

 

[TessB]

I saw someone said manipulate SI but i don't know how to do that exactly ..

Depends on the method. Like my number one method is jumping and I've heard to manipulate the SI is to do things like plan to jump on the count of 3, but jump when you get to 2... things like that

You could theoretically embarrass yourself to such a colossal degree that the only reprieve from overwhelming discomfiture is suicide. Shit yourself in public, reveal all of your most perverted and deepest secrets to your family and friends, make a scene at work and promptly get fired, etc. Yes, these are some extreme measures, but suicide will seem immensely favourable by then.

I've thought of doing this sort of thing.

 

[DivineMedicus]

This thread got really dark and scary all of a sudden. Your point of self sabotage is well meant and understandable. What a way to go though. The stress alone would be gruesome! Although I think the self hate and addiction to stress is what keeps us all here in a way. Sometimes you only feel alive when there is pain. Forcing yourself to get pushed out has been a little bit of my method as well. I try not to hurt people by doing it but it still happens. Fucked up a job. Ignored my lover. Don't connect with family. In the end I kinda just hurt myself. These things really do not help with SI itself though. That's a huge monster to get over. Makes me wonder why so many of us are still here and have not just CTB by now. I can understand the people in recovery threads and trying to find a connection I guess. Im glad there are people in recovery here. It makes me happy to see them trying to go forward. I would say the usual suspects for SI. Alcohol drugs pills tranqs quick method etc.

Stress, anxiety, whatever, I don't give a modicum of fucks. I'm not concerned with my well-being as much as I used to be. Anything that helps strengthen my resolve to commit suicide is indeed good enough for me. You can never be rid of your SI, that's just wishful thinking. At most, you can suppress it. It's part of your programming and you cannot change the "source code" directly (although you can change the "hardware" via lobotomies ig). You can try and introduce drugs to counteract your SI, or have a quick method at hand, but their effects on minimizing SI are temporary and minuscule at best. You may ask then, "Why self-sabotage? What's the point?". An organism's SI is actually a function of its perceived reproduction potential. The more harmful behaviours and self-destructive behaviours you practice, the lower your PRP would be, which would translate to a weaker SI (or self-preservation instinct).

Theoretically, you can also try developing another instinct that would override your SI (e.g. altruism/mothering instinct), but the circumstances required to develop such are perhaps not attainable for many users here.

 

[GarageKarate07]

Stress, anxiety, whatever, I don't give a modicum of fucks. I'm not concerned with my well-being as much as I used to be. Anything that helps strengthen my resolve to commit suicide is indeed good enough for me. You can never be rid of your SI, that's just wishful thinking. At most, you can suppress it. It's part of your programming and you cannot change the "source code" directly (although you can change the "hardware" via lobotomies ig). You can try and introduce drugs to counteract your SI, or have a quick method at hand, but their effects on minimizing SI are temporary and minuscule at best. You may ask then, "Why self-sabotage? What's the point?". An organism's SI is actually a function of its perceived reproduction potential. The more harmful behaviours and self-destructive behaviours you practice, the lower your PRP would be, which would translate to a weaker SI (or self-preservation instinct).

Theoretically, you can also try developing another instinct that would override your SI (e.g. altruism/mothering instinct), but the circumstances required to develop such are perhaps not attainable for many users here.

Yeah dont get me wrong. This life is full of hard shit to deal with. A quick method would be best. Or a method that you cant back out of. Pistol, jumping, pills, hanging, crushed to death. You still have to "commit" which is why its called "committing". I think some people here just arent ready for the darker stuff that other users are aware of or have witnessed first hand. The kids on here have it especially rough. Some of them but not all have not seen the pain in this world in full force. This doesnt mean thier reasons to CTB are any less. SI is a hell of a drug! Sadly not many will get that last one. LOL