how did u find this site?

[Redacted24]

I was researching methods and found an article on the US National Public Radio site that mentioned this site, it didn't include specifics but it had enough detail that searching for those led me here.

And nearly three years later I haven't pulled the trigger (so to speak) because of the discovery that I'm not alone in my feelings, and the kindness I've received and support I've gotten here has made so much positive difference for me.
Thank you, community members, for being kind!

 

[lastappleonearth]

Articles, but the name of the site wasn't mentioned, so I asked AI and got it immediately

 

[suicidalalcoholic]

some guy on reddit

 

[Cauliflour]

Page 11 of google.

I'm not kidding, like a year ago I searched up "pro self harm forums" and went far into google's search pages to find some niche website and it linked some sasu post about pro self harm discords I believe and I felt like I had found something special.

 

[ih34rty0u]

from reddit i think, i was desperate for suicide methods lmao

 

[7BLue7]

i'm curious on how everybody found this forum. in my opinion it's pretty hard nowadays to find such communities online because of how heavily restricted everything is on the internet.

personally, it was thanks to a YA novel titled "I Was Here" that talks about a girl investigating her best friend's suicide and found out she was on an online forum (such as SaSu). It featured and explained terms like "CTB", "SI", and showcased the general vibe of this website and how it worked, but it never gave any names. I read it in 2023, at a time where i was heavily (as usual) depressed and hopeless, so I dug around online desperately trying to find if such a forum actually existed. Lo and behold I end up finding this site.

fun fact, i made my account back then but only lurked once or twice because i was too scared i think, and i wasnt in a place back then where ctb was an option i could seriously consider. never tried to use the site again.

Until a couple weeks ago lol. obviously ive been in a bad place multiple times in between, but this time im the most serious about it than ive ever been. i remembered the existence of a site but couldnt for the life of me remember its name, so I had to dig around again for quite some time and find it in some NYT article talking about SN and SaSu. I always thought that back in 2023, i lurked as a guest and never made an account, so then i tried registering an account using the same username and email as I did 3 years ago (having completely forgotten that i did), and was so shocked to see that it said the email was already in use. i then logged in instead and there u have it. it made me extremely sad to see that in 3 years, i hadn't changed a bit, down to the username i used on such a site that i never use anywhere else, and even the password that i got right on the first try.

Oh well. i talked a bunch but anyway, just wanna know what's yall's story on how you stumbled upon such a place :)


Side note: i find it incredibly ironic that in an attempt to raise awareness around the concept of ctb (and discouraging people from it through emotional stories), as well as around the existence of such online communities to avoid them and put them to shame, it ended up steering people towards it instead

An article warning people not to use this site. They never stated the name of it, but they gave an excessive amount of details to the point where it took me 2 Google searches to find it lol.

 

[euphoria_wishes]

Googled methods to ctb, there was a news talking about the dangers of this site... ʘ⁠‿⁠ʘ It was in 2020 or 2021 but I signed up just yesterday.

 

[cherrydrpepper147]

i'm curious on how everybody found this forum. in my opinion it's pretty hard nowadays to find such communities online because of how heavily restricted everything is on the internet.

personally, it was thanks to a YA novel titled "I Was Here" that talks about a girl investigating her best friend's suicide and found out she was on an online forum (such as SaSu). It featured and explained terms like "CTB", "SI", and showcased the general vibe of this website and how it worked, but it never gave any names. I read it in 2023, at a time where i was heavily (as usual) depressed and hopeless, so I dug around online desperately trying to find if such a forum actually existed. Lo and behold I end up finding this site.

fun fact, i made my account back then but only lurked once or twice because i was too scared i think, and i wasnt in a place back then where ctb was an option i could seriously consider. never tried to use the site again.

Until a couple weeks ago lol. obviously ive been in a bad place multiple times in between, but this time im the most serious about it than ive ever been. i remembered the existence of a site but couldnt for the life of me remember its name, so I had to dig around again for quite some time and find it in some NYT article talking about SN and SaSu. I always thought that back in 2023, i lurked as a guest and never made an account, so then i tried registering an account using the same username and email as I did 3 years ago (having completely forgotten that i did), and was so shocked to see that it said the email was already in use. i then logged in instead and there u have it. it made me extremely sad to see that in 3 years, i hadn't changed a bit, down to the username i used on such a site that i never use anywhere else, and even the password that i got right on the first try.

Oh well. i talked a bunch but anyway, just wanna know what's yall's story on how you stumbled upon such a place :)


Side note: i find it incredibly ironic that in an attempt to raise awareness around the concept of ctb (and discouraging people from it through emotional stories), as well as around the existence of such online communities to avoid them and put them to shame, it ended up steering people towards it instead

I found it on Twitter in Suicidetwt. When searching it up on Google, of course it wouldn't show it for shit and give me a number. So I just enter it but searching it up on Wikipedia and clicking the link.