Melancholys
I can't wait for my eternal slumber
- Feb 24, 2026
- 27
Hi everyone, I'm new to the forum here, I did lurk quite a bit honestly learning about methods and trying to put one together; I did manage to get my hands on my method of choice (SN, don't ask me for a source please), and at this point now I'm trying to make sure I have everything in place. I already have a date in mind, I want to do it after a friend of mine's birthday. It's soon, and given how much they care about me, I'd feel like an asshole for doing it right before, I don't want to ruin their entire ability to celebrate their birthday, yknow?
My life, was admittedly not a great one. I've dealt with a lot of stuff, and my childhood dealt me a really shitty hand of cards. I want to make it as peaceful as possible, but I sadly don't have any antiemetics. I don't think I'll be able to get my hands on them, my doctor is pretty much not wanting to prescribe much and my family isn't going to likely let me either.
My protocol was inspired by another member's here I saw, but it's this:
- 12pm start fasting
- 5am start fasting (drinking wise)
- 5am 600mg ibuprofen
- 6:30am start mixing SN drinks (3 cups, 35g as I'm a bit heavier in 100ml each, in case I throw one up I'll have a backup)
- 7am consume SN drinks, and take some Risperidone
I also have someone close to me who offered to stay up with me and be there for me, as to be honest, I'm terrified to do it alone; they offered that they won't let me be alone, and they reassured me to not feel too guilty, as my friends and people who care about me will heal, and that they understand I'm trying to escape the pain. But I still feel guilty, leaving those behind, especially putting said friend through being there for my passing. Should I tell them the date beforehand? I feel like it would be kind of mean to do so, idk, because then it's something looming over them, but I'm not sure if I should tell them ahead of time or tell them the day of. I have some stuff I still want to do one last time before I go, and I want to celebrate my friend's birthday with them, so I'm trying to figure it out for the day I'm planning
Also my apologies if this would be better tagged as Venting, I wasn't sure which it would go under.
My life, was admittedly not a great one. I've dealt with a lot of stuff, and my childhood dealt me a really shitty hand of cards. I want to make it as peaceful as possible, but I sadly don't have any antiemetics. I don't think I'll be able to get my hands on them, my doctor is pretty much not wanting to prescribe much and my family isn't going to likely let me either.
My protocol was inspired by another member's here I saw, but it's this:
- 12pm start fasting
- 5am start fasting (drinking wise)
- 5am 600mg ibuprofen
- 6:30am start mixing SN drinks (3 cups, 35g as I'm a bit heavier in 100ml each, in case I throw one up I'll have a backup)
- 7am consume SN drinks, and take some Risperidone
I also have someone close to me who offered to stay up with me and be there for me, as to be honest, I'm terrified to do it alone; they offered that they won't let me be alone, and they reassured me to not feel too guilty, as my friends and people who care about me will heal, and that they understand I'm trying to escape the pain. But I still feel guilty, leaving those behind, especially putting said friend through being there for my passing. Should I tell them the date beforehand? I feel like it would be kind of mean to do so, idk, because then it's something looming over them, but I'm not sure if I should tell them ahead of time or tell them the day of. I have some stuff I still want to do one last time before I go, and I want to celebrate my friend's birthday with them, so I'm trying to figure it out for the day I'm planning
Also my apologies if this would be better tagged as Venting, I wasn't sure which it would go under.
