• ⚠️ UK Access Block Notice: Beginning July 1, 2025, this site will no longer be accessible from the United Kingdom. This is a voluntary decision made by the site's administrators. We were not forced or ordered to implement this block. If you're located in the UK, we recommend using a VPN to maintain access.

B

broken-soul

Member
Jan 8, 2023
31
Hi im new
Never imagined my life would get to this point. I mean I've always suffered with anxiety and depression but for the last three years it's been a rapid downwards spiral to the point I can't seem to pull the energy to do anything. I neglect myself and barely go out. I became addicted to prescription meds after o was put on them for an operation 11 years ago. I didn't mean to get addicted but crap circumstances and a very mentally abusive relationship caused me to lean on them more and I admit, they made me feel brilliant for a long time....untill they didnt and sucked every bit of life out of me that I had. I dunno, I so badly want help but I just fear I won't be able to fight my demons. Anyway it's good to be here and thanks for having me.

I write poetry to try unload my thoughts so here's one for you all.

Sinking into the abyss, darkness uncomfortably suffocating
Climbing the walls within, depleted and frustrating.
Finding it hard to breathe, panic burdens my mind
Struggling to keep up the fight when the world is so unkind
Fearing there's no way out, loosing hope as the days drift by
Thoughts that I can't erase, a deep hunger to drift off and die
Years of climbing this mountain, my body aches with pain
The peace and happiness of reaching the top, I fear I'll never gain.
Ionging for someone to pull me out, to live my life in peace
The struggle is real, though I try to conceal
Im praying for some kind of relief
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: Illidan77, pickajack, Forever Sleep and 21 others
Dead Meat

Dead Meat

DOOMED
Oct 10, 2018
18,394
Welcome to the forum @broken-soul I hope you enjoy your stay here, much Love to you:heart::hug::heart::hug::heart::hug:
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
  • Love
Reactions: Per Ardua Ad Astra, leaf23, stermc and 2 others
B

broken-soul

Member
Jan 8, 2023
31
Welcome to the forum @broken-soul I hope you enjoy your stay here, much Love to you:heart::hug::heart::hug::heart::hug:
Thankyou! 😊 I'm just slowly learning to navigate around the forum. I'm sure I will enjoy my stay here. ❤
 
  • Hugs
  • Love
  • Like
Reactions: leaf23, stermc, Endex and 1 other person
G

Givenuponlife

Member
Jul 6, 2022
81
Hi New, I'm Less New, welcome to the Forum!
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
  • Yay!
Reactions: leaf23, stermc, Endex and 2 others
wait.what

wait.what

no really, what?
Aug 14, 2020
994
Hi there, I'm sorry life has brought you to this point. Addiction is an absolute bitch.

Some people find comfort in hanging around the forums, others just get methods info and leave. I hope you find what you need, whatever that is.
 
  • Love
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: Per Ardua Ad Astra, Dead Meat, leaf23 and 3 others
B

broken-soul

Member
Jan 8, 2023
31
Hi there, I'm sorry life has brought you to this point. Addiction is an absolute bitch.

Some people find comfort in hanging around the forums, others just get methods info and leave. I hope you find what you need, whatever that is.
Hi and thankyou!
It sure is, I was functioning quite well for a long long time on high doses until where I am now and I can barely function anymore because it's taken over my whole life.

I'm hoping to stay as long as I need to, I truly hope to get better in the long run but that's not taking away how I feel right now, and I've absolutely felt suicidal now for a long time but my antidepressants are not working either and I've been hallucinating and hearing things.

I don't know where I'll be long term, but I hope to be here till the end

 
  • Hugs
Reactions: Per Ardua Ad Astra, Dead Meat, leaf23 and 1 other person
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
43,450
It sounds so awful what you've been through and it must be so incredibly tiring being trapped in that situation. This existence is undeniably so cruel, but anyway best of luck.
 
  • Love
  • Like
Reactions: Dead Meat, broken-soul and leaf23
Endex

Endex

Magic bus
Jun 13, 2022
3,813
Hi and welcome, hope you enjoy you time on here 🤗👍
 
  • Love
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: Per Ardua Ad Astra, Dead Meat, broken-soul and 1 other person
ceus

ceus

<3
Nov 17, 2022
36
Hey broken-soul 🤗
I'm sorry you're here...
That poem is beautiful though ❤️
I wish you mich strength and little specks of enjoyment for as long as you are willing to bear all this.


The thought has crossed our mind
Bridges over somber rivers

We ought to be more kind
To the entailing shivers

Our spirit wanders deeply
Into the foreign unknown lands

So we may wander freely
Into the heavens realms
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: rationaltake

Similar threads

Darkover
Replies
8
Views
139
Suicide Discussion
kitkat9234
K
asphyxiangel
Replies
9
Views
334
Suicide Discussion
kitkat9234
K
misanthropemurder
Replies
0
Views
156
Suicide Discussion
misanthropemurder
misanthropemurder
Fadeaway_bankz
Replies
5
Views
227
Suicide Discussion
NikolaiK
N
PapaYeehaw
Replies
0
Views
164
Suicide Discussion
PapaYeehaw
PapaYeehaw