wildflowercloud
Member
- Jun 6, 2023
- 72
Hey guys, we are a Dissociative Identity Disorder system and we refer to ourselves as "we" because we have many alters in our system who deserve to be heard.
We have been uncovering an absolute shit ton of trauma and have a huge amount of clarity about our life, and it is a living Hell. From sexual, mental, and emotional abuse, to organized abuse including child trafficking, child pornography, and deep programming within our system, amongst so, so much more which is absolutely insane to know there is so much more horror than what we've just typed. It only scratches the surface.
We have basically been given up on by mental health services. They care about us, they really do. We know ourselves that we are beyond help. We spent 4 months inpatient in a mental health unit and tried ECT (Electroconvulsive therapy) and ketamine treatments for our C-PTSD and treatment resistant depression, plus meds and therapy, and nothing has touched the sides. We also have atypical anorexia nervosa which has been a coping mechanism as well as the severe self harm.
We have moved to a different flat, we were there for 3 weeks before going inpatient and then came back to it once discharged. We've been discharged for around a month and half.
In our wardrobe is a metal bar. We've had a rope ready to go for a long time. Tonight, we tested the set up for partial hanging, and it worked. We went unconscious for a couple of seconds before lifting ourselves out of it and feeling dizzy and disorientated and like we were in a different world. It was very easy for us to fall into that unconsciousness.
We have decided from this night forward we have decided to go ahead with making our suicide happen, making preparations, and when the time is right - most likely due to the suicide programming that was forced into our shattered brain - we are doing and we will do everything we can to successfully complete our suicide. We hope for freedom, peace, and safety, after the Hell we have been living through since the start of our life to now and every day we drag ourselves through, we desperately need that and we hope for it so much.
Sending warm vibes to you guys, thank you to anyone who reads this and cares
We have been uncovering an absolute shit ton of trauma and have a huge amount of clarity about our life, and it is a living Hell. From sexual, mental, and emotional abuse, to organized abuse including child trafficking, child pornography, and deep programming within our system, amongst so, so much more which is absolutely insane to know there is so much more horror than what we've just typed. It only scratches the surface.
We have basically been given up on by mental health services. They care about us, they really do. We know ourselves that we are beyond help. We spent 4 months inpatient in a mental health unit and tried ECT (Electroconvulsive therapy) and ketamine treatments for our C-PTSD and treatment resistant depression, plus meds and therapy, and nothing has touched the sides. We also have atypical anorexia nervosa which has been a coping mechanism as well as the severe self harm.
We have moved to a different flat, we were there for 3 weeks before going inpatient and then came back to it once discharged. We've been discharged for around a month and half.
In our wardrobe is a metal bar. We've had a rope ready to go for a long time. Tonight, we tested the set up for partial hanging, and it worked. We went unconscious for a couple of seconds before lifting ourselves out of it and feeling dizzy and disorientated and like we were in a different world. It was very easy for us to fall into that unconsciousness.
We have decided from this night forward we have decided to go ahead with making our suicide happen, making preparations, and when the time is right - most likely due to the suicide programming that was forced into our shattered brain - we are doing and we will do everything we can to successfully complete our suicide. We hope for freedom, peace, and safety, after the Hell we have been living through since the start of our life to now and every day we drag ourselves through, we desperately need that and we hope for it so much.
Sending warm vibes to you guys, thank you to anyone who reads this and cares
