Venting Here we go again

[wishingdeath]

No luck on the sn but i think ive found some pn ive ordered.

Last time i ordered i got a welfare. Hoping as its a different chemical they'll bypass it.

If they don't, I don't think I can maintain as calm this time. Its so stupid how they just force people who don't want to be alive to be alive. This world is so behind and yeah, it's actually selfish ironically.

I really hope this works. Using this thread to update & hopefully we're now getting somewhere.

I'm nervous for a check, I can't afford anymore red flags, but I also feel a huge weight off my shoulders and hope this can actually come to me. Fingers crossed :') because I literally can't, and don't want, to do this.

 

[imagonner]

No luck on the sn but i think ive found some pn ive ordered.

Last time i ordered i got a welfare. Hoping as its a different chemical they'll bypass it.

If they don't, I don't think I can maintain as calm this time. Its so stupid how they just force people who don't want to be alive to be alive. This world is so behind and yeah, it's actually selfish ironically.

I really hope this works. Using this thread to update & hopefully we're now getting somewhere.

I'm nervous for a check, I can't afford anymore red flags, but I also feel a huge weight off my shoulders and hope this can actually come to me. Fingers crossed :') because I literally can't, and don't want, to do this.

i hope it works out for you.

if it doesnt and you get another welfare check, dont flip out on them, because it will be 1000 times worse.

wait til they re gone and then smash up your house if you want to, but when they re there, take deep breaths and act stupid.

 

[wishingdeath]

No luck on the sn but i think ive found some pn ive ordered.

Last time i ordered i got a welfare. Hoping as its a different chemical they'll bypass it.

If they don't, I don't think I can maintain as calm this time. Its so stupid how they just force people who don't want to be alive to be alive. This world is so behind and yeah, it's actually selfish ironically.

I really hope this works. Using this thread to update & hopefully we're now getting somewhere.

I'm nervous for a check, I can't afford anymore red flags, but I also feel a huge weight off my shoulders and hope this can actually come to me. Fingers crossed :') because I literally can't, and don't want, to do this.

The amount of hours ive spent online b

i hope it works out for you.

if it doesnt and you get another welfare check, dont flip out on them, because it will be 1000 times worse.

wait til they re gone and then smash up your house if you want to, but when they re there, take deep breaths and act stupid.

Thank you I appreciate this. Completely true. Plus i guess its also not THEIR fault i.e the people at the door themselves

 

[imagonner]

The amount of hours ive spent online b

Thank you I appreciate this. Completely true. Plus i guess its also not THEIR fault i.e the people at the door themselves

true, they re just the messengers. unfortunately, its the messengers that end up in the line of fire.

i hate to admit this, but 9 times out of 10, if you dont mess about, they re gonna be ok with you, even if you dont like what they have to say or do.

and the one time they happen to be a dickhead, you wont win by acting up, so you might as well shut up . and this coming from someone with 20 odd convictions for swearing at and assaulting police...

 

[wishingdeath]

true, they re just the messengers. unfortunately, its the messengers that end up in the line of fire.

i hate to admit this, but 9 times out of 10, if you dont mess about, they re gonna be ok with you, even if you dont like what they have to say or do.

and the one time they happen to be a dickhead, you wont win by acting up, so you might as well shut up . and this coming from someone with 20 odd convictions for swearing at and assaulting police...

Its more the frustration of them thinking they can take things from people who have capacity and want to end their life. Thats what gets me. Last time I was shocked. This time I'm just annoyed.

But you're completely right. There is no benefit to it. I feel more prepared this time and am hoping I won't just freeze and will offer an explanation that isn't sui. Hopefully if i give them something and they have no proof what its for considering im not engaging with the cmht they'll have no valid reason to deny it.

The police scare me too much for that! I once tried to do something and a male said he'd handcuff me. Instantly made me retreat like a kid. I dont like the power they have over you and can get away with. They scare me

No luck on the sn but i think ive found some pn ive ordered.

Last time i ordered i got a welfare. Hoping as its a different chemical they'll bypass it.

If they don't, I don't think I can maintain as calm this time. Its so stupid how they just force people who don't want to be alive to be alive. This world is so behind and yeah, it's actually selfish ironically.

I really hope this works. Using this thread to update & hopefully we're now getting somewhere.

I'm nervous for a check, I can't afford anymore red flags, but I also feel a huge weight off my shoulders and hope this can actually come to me. Fingers crossed :') because I literally can't, and don't want, to do this.

I'm getting less hopeful as I can see the tracking and the reason for shipping has been listed the same… I really hope this works I'm so desperate.

true, they re just the messengers. unfortunately, its the messengers that end up in the line of fire.

i hate to admit this, but 9 times out of 10, if you dont mess about, they re gonna be ok with you, even if you dont like what they have to say or do.

and the one time they happen to be a dickhead, you wont win by acting up, so you might as well shut up . and this coming from someone with 20 odd convictions for swearing at and assaulting police...

Honestly if we didn't have a ring doorbell (that someone else has access to and checks) i probably wouldn't even answer. Im just concerned they'll spill whats happening in front of it. Id love to just be like heres my legs and arms out the window so they cant PACE Code B. Im alive, my limbs are alive, go away and give it to me

 

[imagonner]

Its more the frustration of them thinking they can take things from people who have capacity and want to end their life. Thats what gets me. Last time I was shocked. This time I'm just annoyed.

But you're completely right. There is no benefit to it. I feel more prepared this time and am hoping I won't just freeze and will offer an explanation that isn't sui. Hopefully if i give them something and they have no proof what its for considering im not engaging with the cmht they'll have no valid reason to deny it.

The police scare me too much for that! I once tried to do something and a male said he'd handcuff me. Instantly made me retreat like a kid. I dont like the power they have over you and can get away with. They scare me

I'm getting less hopeful as I can see the tracking and the reason for shipping has been listed the same… I really hope this works I'm so desperate.

Honestly if we didn't have a ring doorbell (that someone else has access to and checks) i probably wouldn't even answer. Im just concerned they'll spill whats happening in front of it. Id love to just be like heres my legs and arms out the window so they cant PACE Code B. Im alive, my limbs are alive, go away and give it to me

"I'm getting less hopeful as I can see the tracking and the reason for shipping has been listed the same… I really hope this works I'm so desperate." - what do you mean? has it been held at customs?

i think that even if you were to offer an explanation, border force would still seize it. its not an illegal substance, but its still controlled, and as far as they re concerned, you have no reason to be in possession of it, as an individual.

i can understand your frustration. it all boils down to "why wont they let me decide over my own body?" makes you feel powerless and angry and frustrated

if the police do turn up again, just tell them it wasnt you, you have no idea. if you re nervous lying to them, just tell them you have nothing to say on the matter and ask them to leave. if they persist, tell them a friend of yours would like to have a word

 

[wishingdeath]

"I'm getting less hopeful as I can see the tracking and the reason for shipping has been listed the same… I really hope this works I'm so desperate." - what do you mean? has it been held at customs?

i think that even if you were to offer an explanation, border force would still seize it. its not an illegal substance, but its still controlled, and as far as they re concerned, you have no reason to be in possession of it, as an individual.

i can understand your frustration. it all boils down to "why wont they let me decide over my own body?" makes you feel powerless and angry and frustrated

if the police do turn up again, just tell them it wasnt you, you have no idea. if you re nervous lying to them, just tell them you have nothing to say on the matter and ask them to leave. if they persist, tell them a friend of yours would like to have a word

No! It's that theres a part of the sending form that is the same criteria as the one that got stopped to do with chemical. I just don't tend to order chemicals, maybe it always says it.

If I can convince them I have a valid reason, they have no reason to not give it to me. I'm not sure what law this would be surrounding, if you do let me know!

Yeah its ridiculous. I get the people at the door are just working for someone but its my body, my autonomy , brain, experiences and they have no right deciding my own decisions.

Haha! I think telling them ill get a friend involved might make it worse . Only thing is, if i deny its mine, i'll never receive it
Its easy to think, well why wouldnt she just xyz instead?

Id do a different higher mortality rate method in a heart beat if it didnt impact those who found me. Knowing people who have passed in horrific ways and those that found them, I want it to almost look like I'm sleeping. I dont want anyone to suffer more than necessary.

No luck on the sn but i think ive found some pn ive ordered.

Last time i ordered i got a welfare. Hoping as its a different chemical they'll bypass it.

If they don't, I don't think I can maintain as calm this time. Its so stupid how they just force people who don't want to be alive to be alive. This world is so behind and yeah, it's actually selfish ironically.

I really hope this works. Using this thread to update & hopefully we're now getting somewhere.

I'm nervous for a check, I can't afford anymore red flags, but I also feel a huge weight off my shoulders and hope this can actually come to me. Fingers crossed :') because I literally can't, and don't want, to do th

 

[imagonner]

No! It's that theres a part of the sending form that is the same criteria as the one that got stopped to do with chemical. I just don't tend to order chemicals, maybe it always says it.

If I can convince them I have a valid reason, they have no reason to not give it to me. I'm not sure what law this would be surrounding, if you do let me know!

Yeah its ridiculous. I get the people at the door are just working for someone but its my body, my autonomy , brain, experiences and they have no right deciding my own decisions.

Haha! I think telling them ill get a friend involved might make it worse . Only thing is, if i deny its mine, i'll never receive it
Its easy to think, well why wouldnt she just xyz instead?

Id do a different higher mortality rate method in a heart beat if it didnt impact those who found me. Knowing people who have passed in horrific ways and those that found them, I want it to almost look like I'm sleeping. I dont want anyone to suffer more than necessary.

from what i can see, it is possible to buy it on normal marketplaces, so i suppose its easier to get. did you order it from outside the uk, in which case border force might intercept it again. however, if the vendor is in the uk, i dont think anyone is going to intercept it. it seems like its ok to order 100g-200g of the substance.

with regards to the method, i think itd unfortunately be traumatic no matter what