Help with full hanging

[enola]

I'm suffering a lot and need to ctb asap, this is too much. I have everything ready for full suspension. I've got the rope and the anchor/door knob. The only thing I'm missing is the knot position, should it go under or over the adam's apple? With the knot on the back or left/right side?
btw I'm using a slipknot, if anyone has a better suggestion it'll be welcomed.

 

[CrossroadsCurious]

You should go distract yourself, you shouldn't make this decision in the heat of emotions. Ctb should be fully planned out and a rational decision.

 

[enola]

You should go distract yourself, you shouldn't make this decision in the heat of emotions. Ctb should be fully planned out and a rational decision.

I'm not doing this irrationally, I've been suffering for a long time, and when I thought things couldn't get any worse, they got. I'm in pain from the moment I wake up until I go to sleep, that's if I can sleep. I'm living literally in hell, with death I'll finally be free of pain and suffering, that's all I need. I decided on hanging because I have no access to SN or N, neither to a high enough place to jump. Please I only need to know how to place the knot, I really need to exit this hell.