Venting Have you ever been happy?

[themisfit]

I mean, has there ever been a period in your life when you where happy, or something like that?

What do you miss about it?

What happened that you ended up here on this forum?

 

[ravendrops]

I think when I was really young laying in sunlight. And every bit of time with my kids.
But there's not much happiness in supply

 

[idfwlnh]

I mean, has there ever been a period in your life when you where happy, or something like that?

I was really happy when I was still best friends with my old best friend M. I was also really happy when I was with my ex Q. Those two are just the loveliest people in the world to me. Even now, I still love both of them, but I wish I could add "vice versa" here.

What do you miss about it?

I missed those times when I skipped class with M, talking endless hours on games and movies, going to M's house to spend the whole day. I missed the times when Q was there when I need, I miss the dates we went together, the stories and the promises we share.

What happened that you ended up here on this forum?

I'm here just because I want to learn more info, meet more people and have somewhere to write my thoughts. Nothing special

 

[bl33ding_heart]

The last time I was genuinely happy was in 2019 when I was 11 years old. After that my bpd started really settling in. I didn't have an easy childhood at all, but at least I was naive enough to find some sort of happiness through it.

 

[Hystearical]

Not as a general state

 

[mikidagreen]

when i was a kid until 10. even on my wedding day i felt bad for being the way i am and tying her to me.

 

[FuneralCry]

No as existing is torture, I'd only be happy to never exist ever again, for me non-existence is just all that's positive in this existence so dreadful and torturous and there's just so much evil and cruelty in this terrible, torturous existence, all I want is peace from the evil of existence where there is no limit as to how much agony one can feel.

I'll just always see existence as the most terrible mistake that just tortures existing beings and the suffering of existing is endless, to me simply just existing is torture, I find it torture to be burdened with this painful, dreadful existence. This existence just never should had been imposed at all and it's just so terrible how it was causing all this dreadful suffering as a result, to suffer in this existence is just always an abomination to me, it's so horrible and painful how a human can be tortured in this existence for so long just to face the terrible agony of old age.

 

[Kanau_Nano]

When I was a young kid I was happy. Still had problems, but i was happy mostly.

I miss not being able to understand Depression, and suicide. I remember truly not getting it at all.

I ended up here for many reasons.

 

[bpdscared9]

I was always told from my parents that I was a very happy child but I always remember being an introvert and often being forced and push into socialize with different kids when I was a little girl. Despite of their judgment about my own self, I think I had times when I was pretty much happy like sharing experiences with partners and close friends and also, some time lapses when I went through the most darkest times of my life. I wouldn't call myself happy now but at least I don't feel as miserable as I used to during my teen years!

 

[Escargot]

I feel that when I was younger, perhaps more oblivious really, I could feel happy at some points. But now that Im older, and have seen what life is, I don't have the ability to feel happy. Happiness in a way feels like a foreign concept, something I am unable to achieve. Sometimes I get delirious and con myself into pretending to be happy, and then things get even worse when I come back to my senses then crash down.

Its an unwavering cycle which is frankly miserable.

 

[Aflame5926]

i think i was never really happy in my life. just played the happy part. till the ball came and had to show whats inside.

 

[stevie23]

Before my parents moved. I was extremely happy and actually felt like I belong somewhere. Now, I'm just a loner and hate everything and everyone.

 

[Bitch With An Apple]

Yes but my stupid hangups and my generally fucked up personality prevented me from ever using that time to the fullest
I'd get high and watch star trek. Lots of movies. Even a little bit of reading. Everything was calm, no one expected anything of me. But it was unsustainable and temporary. And still a very passive lifestyle.