Has corona had influence on your decision?

[Lady black]

Is anybody here that thought of death before but since corona and the lock down happened you are sure to end everything? Or is loosing all cause of corona the thing why you want to leave? For me the lock down and the thought that the next lock down is planned soon is real big stress for my mental health. Feels like living in prison or communism...

 

[Deleted member 19654]

It's definitely made me feel more hopeless. I was already struggling with depression but covid has made it so much worse.

 

[Mm80]

For me its favourable as people are only allowed 30 people at the funeral, so people would think that im really popular but only 30 people could come due to covid. Having said that im not sure ill get 30 lol.

 

[isotopeangel180-5]

I actually don't have a plan or inkling either way, yet. But I got out of an inpatient hospitalization (which was voluntary) with the right diagnosis, acknowledgment and affirmation of my problems and reality, and the first full desire in years to actually live and enjoy life in early January 2020. This was supposed to actually be my year after a string of bad, traumatic ones in the previous decade. COVID-19 has been the biggest thief in regards to that. The year I was meant to be happy and heal, this happens. I'm taking it as a twisted sign from the universe. Not to mention how messed up it's made everything, how on edge and divided everyone is (due to other reasons as well, but there's no denying the pandemic's effect), and how the future is so compromised and uncertain. I really needed to spread my wings and not be stuck in an unideal home environment, yet here I am. I really wanted to go to a better school and start college over as it's been bad so far, yet here I am. I just wanted to be happy and in a much better place. Yet here I am.
So to actually answer the question, I'm not sure if I want to go through with anything now, but COVID-19 would be an undeniable, inevitable factor if I did.

 

[Sk1n1M1n]

I know that if I died my friends from the SEN school wouldn't bother turning up, they may send a naff 22p card from a market stall and a crappy " XYZ Disease Awareness" on Facebook. But really I am not banking on that.

 

[Lupgevif]

No, my decision has nothing to do with corona, but I still wish it never happened so I wouldn't risk having my death associated to it somehow.

 

[TheSkyIsBlue]

Not really. I was honestly glad when I was at home and didn't have to go near people everyday.

 

[watsonsmith]

I did lose a lot during the pandemic. The loneliness and lack of structure allowed me to ride out a long manic episode to its bitter end – ruining relationships, losing my job and finding myself as if someone deliberately destroyed everything I needed for my life to make any sense. Only that person was me. Had it not been for covid, I probably wouldn't be here, but it was only one of the factors. I probably would have self-sabotaged anyway.

I did meet quite a few people in the two psych wards I've been to in the last 2 months that would put the pandemic high on the list of reasons for wanting to ctb. I feel so sorry for all of them and the people around the world whose lives have been shattered by the restrictions.

At first, I was hoping the movement restrictions would force families to be together for once and give people some breathing space for introspection and re-evaluating their lives. But I'm afraid the opposite is happening. Even less social interaction, increased divisions in society (as any such event, the restrictions disproportionately affect the underprivileged groups) and the obvious economic toll.

What I think is most affecting my (not yet quite mature) decision to CTB is what the world will look like when the dust settles. My entire life and career depended on interconnectedness, ease of travel and international cooperation. I am afraid of this new reality as much as I initially thought it would be good.

On the other hand, globalisation had its horrible side effects and perhaps we are just living in a time of a major systemic transformation. I just don't know if I'll be there to see the aftermath. I feel pathetic, I always used to embrace change, but I feel exhausted.

Overall, the pandemic makes me worried about the future I don't have the energy to adapt to. The restrictions themselves helped me sabotage my life.

 

[AJ95]

COVID has definitely indirectly caused me to end up killing myself.

Between the isolation and all of the things I was enjoying at the start of the year disappearing due to quarantine, yeah, I would say that if this pandemic hadn't happened I wouldn't currently be planning to die at the end of this month.

 

[sadworld]

Nope, actually corona made a few things better for me. During lock down i didn't had to meet anyone or go to work so it was good for me.

 

[mooncake]

It started mt spiral. An now that the second wave is arriving, im not sure when to do it. Im sure my family want a funeral but if we go on lockdown again, that won't be possible

 

[Spitfire]

The virus did not really influence my life too much like this in this way.

All of the hotels instantly cleared out for months in a row and travel became a million times better overnight for a while though. This was a very helpful thing to me at the time.

I thought it was cool, parked in the middle of some major roads and do whatever driving.. and there were almost no other vehicles anywhere on the roads to worry about, at first.

 

[vacant_n]

I don't think I'd be in the situation I'm in if it weren't for COVID.