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Harry Callahan
- Feb 12, 2023
- 254
i wish i could have any cohesive thoughts and emotions. all the things i'm feeling sre constantly conflicting with each other. i sound like a fucking idiot whenever i vent about anything because i blatantly contradict myself so often, sometimes in the same vent.
i wasn't expecting to feel very guilty but it's really hitting now. i don't deserve to die, i don't deserve to be freed from my suffering. i'm still going to ctb because im just so shameless. i've spent my entire life completely draining everyone in my life. i've drained and hurt everyone in my life so badly but then had the nerve to come on here and complain about how my friends made me feel hurt. i did all of this just to end up feeling horrible because no one will miss me.
i'm so much more selfish than i could ever fully realize. i feel sick. i've always been harsh on people who felt this way. i usually just tell people to get over themselves. i still don't think i was important enough to cause damage, but i'm still so disgusted with myself. i still did hurt people while shamelessly whining about my own feelings. even when acknowledging that the other person didn't do anything wrong, i whined about my own feelings. even when acknowledging that i was probably hurting the other person, i whined about my own feelings. even when acknowledging that i bring negativity to everyone who enters my life and i will end up hurting anyone i meet, i still continue to talk to new people because i can't handle going even a day without talking to someone. it's so selfish, but i get so desperate that i can barely even think.
i've been trying to be a good and supportive person to the people in my life, but it doesn't even matter. even when i'm trying to do something to reduce pain, i just end up causing more.
i don't know what else to do. i just want to help and make others feel happy and loved but it all ends the same because i'm incompetent.
i wasn't expecting to feel very guilty but it's really hitting now. i don't deserve to die, i don't deserve to be freed from my suffering. i'm still going to ctb because im just so shameless. i've spent my entire life completely draining everyone in my life. i've drained and hurt everyone in my life so badly but then had the nerve to come on here and complain about how my friends made me feel hurt. i did all of this just to end up feeling horrible because no one will miss me.
i'm so much more selfish than i could ever fully realize. i feel sick. i've always been harsh on people who felt this way. i usually just tell people to get over themselves. i still don't think i was important enough to cause damage, but i'm still so disgusted with myself. i still did hurt people while shamelessly whining about my own feelings. even when acknowledging that the other person didn't do anything wrong, i whined about my own feelings. even when acknowledging that i was probably hurting the other person, i whined about my own feelings. even when acknowledging that i bring negativity to everyone who enters my life and i will end up hurting anyone i meet, i still continue to talk to new people because i can't handle going even a day without talking to someone. it's so selfish, but i get so desperate that i can barely even think.
i've been trying to be a good and supportive person to the people in my life, but it doesn't even matter. even when i'm trying to do something to reduce pain, i just end up causing more.
i don't know what else to do. i just want to help and make others feel happy and loved but it all ends the same because i'm incompetent.
