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gothbird

gothbird

๐™ฟ๐š˜๐šŽ๐š ๐™ถ๐š’๐š›๐š•
Mar 16, 2025
324
Hey everyone.

My time's drawing closer. If things fall into place the way I'm hoping, I'll be drifting off in the next few months. I've always been a planner by nature, so of course I've been refining the protocol, turning it over like a stone in my hand.

Unfortunately, metoclopramide isn't in reach for me at this time. But I do have a range of other antiemetics I've used before, ones that have worked reliably during hospital stays and long treatments. My tolerance is high, thanks to years of needing them, so I'm building around what I know my body responds to.

This is what I've drafted so far. It's strange to find it easier to guide others through this than it is to chart the map for yourself. But here I am. If anyone has thoughts, corrections, or even small suggestions, I'd really welcome them. I want this to be clean, calm, and clear.



Day 1


TimeMedication and Dose
08:001 x 8mg Ondansetron
16:001 x 8mg Ondansetron
24:001 x 8mg Ondansetron

Day 2


TimeMedication and Dose
08:001 x 8mg Ondansetron
16:001 x 8mg Ondansetron
22:30600mg Ibuprofen or 1000mg Paracetamol
22:452 x 8mg Ondansetron
23:001 x 40mg Omeprazole
23:151 x 5mg Oxycodone (optional; omit if nausea is worsening)
23:301 x 7.5mg Zopiclone
00:0025g Sodium Nitrite drink



I'll have a backup SN dose ready in case I vomit after the first, just in case.

The plan is to mix it on site. I'm thinking I'll bring the SN and the water premeasured but separate, then combine them once I'm where I need to be. That feels simplest, and safer than transporting it premixed.

Open to thoughts, suggestions, cautions...whatever you've got. I'd rather overthink than overlook.
 
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needwaytohell

needwaytohell

Member
Apr 2, 2025
44
Hope you find peace . You've been one of the nicest person alongside few others. I'm new here it feels like someone held my hands and is letting go of it. Hope we meet in afterlife.
 
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gothbird

gothbird

๐™ฟ๐š˜๐šŽ๐š ๐™ถ๐š’๐š›๐š•
Mar 16, 2025
324
Hope you find peace . You've been one of the nicest person alongside few others. I'm new here it feels like someone held my hands and is letting go of it. Hope we meet in afterlife.
That's such a tender way to put it like letting go of someone's hand in the dark.
Thank you for your kindness. This space is heavy, but it's people like you who make it feel a little less cold. I hope whatever path you're walking, you feel held in it too. And if there's an afterlife waiting somewhere out in the stars, I'll see you there.
 
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the_etherealmuse

the_etherealmuse

Member
Jan 17, 2025
30
Hey everyone.

My time's drawing closer. If things fall into place the way I'm hoping, I'll be drifting off in the next few months. I've always been a planner by nature, so of course I've been refining the protocol, turning it over like a stone in my hand.

Unfortunately, metoclopramide isn't in reach for me at this time. But I do have a range of other antiemetics I've used before, ones that have worked reliably during hospital stays and long treatments. My tolerance is high, thanks to years of needing them, so I'm building around what I know my body responds to.

This is what I've drafted so far. It's strange to find it easier to guide others through this than it is to chart the map for yourself. But here I am. If anyone has thoughts, corrections, or even small suggestions, I'd really welcome them. I want this to be clean, calm, and clear.



Day 1


TimeMedication and Dose
08:001 x 8mg Ondansetron
16:001 x 8mg Ondansetron
24:001 x 8mg Ondansetron

Day 2


TimeMedication and Dose
08:001 x 8mg Ondansetron
16:001 x 8mg Ondansetron
22:30600mg Ibuprofen or 1000mg Paracetamol
22:452 x 8mg Ondansetron
23:001 x 40mg Omeprazole
23:151 x 5mg Oxycodone (optional; omit if nausea is worsening)
23:301 x 7.5mg Zopiclone
00:0025g Sodium Nitrite drink



I'll have a backup SN dose ready in case I vomit after the first, just in case.

The plan is to mix it on site. I'm thinking I'll bring the SN and the water premeasured but separate, then combine them once I'm where I need to be. That feels simplest, and safer than transporting it premixed.

Open to thoughts, suggestions, cautions...whatever you've got. I'd rather overthink than overlook.
I haven't really interacted much with anyone on this site, but I have come across quite a few of your posts. They all seem to have a rhythm to them, they're lyrical in a poetic way. I hope you accomplish whatever it is that brings you peace.
 
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gothbird

gothbird

๐™ฟ๐š˜๐šŽ๐š ๐™ถ๐š’๐š›๐š•
Mar 16, 2025
324
I haven't really interacted much with anyone on this site, but I have come across quite a few of your posts. They all seem to have a rhythm to them, they're lyrical in a poetic way. I hope you accomplish whatever it is that brings you peace.
That's such a kind thing to say. I think when the world stops making sense, rhythm is one of the few things that still does. Writing has always been how I try to hold the chaos still.

Whatever peace looks like for you too, I hope it finds you. And if not yet, then someday.
 
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Luminous_

Luminous_

Puss-Eating-Pot-Princess
Jan 20, 2025
30
I'll be sad when you go, we'll be using the same method atleast :) thank you for writing a very heartfelt response to my thread a few days back, I never ended up responding because it got me all teary eyed but you moved me deeply. I hope it's peaceful, painless and a satisfying release from whatever suffering you've endured thus far
 
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gothbird

gothbird

๐™ฟ๐š˜๐šŽ๐š ๐™ถ๐š’๐š›๐š•
Mar 16, 2025
324
I'll be sad when you go, we'll be using the same method atleast :) thank you for writing a very heartfelt response to my thread a few days back, I never ended up responding because it got me all teary eyed but you moved me deeply. I hope it's peaceful, painless and a satisfying release from whatever suffering you've endured thus far
I'm really glad my words reached you, even if they brought tears. Sometimes that's the only language we have left, isn't it?

Knowing we'll be walking similar paths, even if at different times, feels strangely comforting. Like a promise that none of us are as alone as we think, even at the end. I hope yours is gentle too with no pain, no fear, just like slipping into warm water and finally floating.

If this is goodbye, then go knowing you mattered.
 
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P

Praestat_Mori

Mori praestat, quam haec pati!
May 21, 2023
12,476
I hope you find peace. Good luck!
 
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Michi_Violeta

Michi_Violeta

Without her I'm just a cheap Louis Krages
Feb 3, 2025
484
It's just the protocol thread and I feel like I miss your posts already...

Anyway, my two cents on the protocol: I don't know about your experiences with zopiclone but in my case I've experienced it taking a while to act but. Sometimes it's prescribed in 10mg form (one tablet and a half) and it's what I've been using to sleep sometimes. It's very effective, but seems to me it has a narrow window: if you stay active through the moment when you feel it starts acting then it feels wasted (if that makes sense).

Ideally you'd want the zopiclone to kick right after drinking the SN so it can do its thing while you're awake so maybe try a 10 mg dose, lay down, and take the SN while relaxed?
 
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SmilingNoMore

SmilingNoMore

Warlock
Nov 25, 2024
754
You do have a way with words, and a comforting presence, almost like a powerful eagle gliding with protective wings above us. We will miss your writing when the time comes. Sorry I can't help with the method, I wish you all the best with the planning and times ahead. Sending love.
 
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gothbird

gothbird

๐™ฟ๐š˜๐šŽ๐š ๐™ถ๐š’๐š›๐š•
Mar 16, 2025
324
You do have a way with words, and a comforting presence, almost like a powerful eagle gliding with protective wings above us. We will miss your writing when the time comes. Sorry I can't help with the method, I wish you all the best with the planning and times ahead. Sending love.
Thank you. I don't always know what I'm doing, but if my words have made anyone feel even a little more understood or less alone, then that means more to me than I can explain.
We're all just trying to find some kind of soft landing in a world that rarely offers one. Sending love straight back to you, wherever you are. Stay safe.
 
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deleteduser853695

deleteduser853695

I swear I tried my best
Feb 26, 2024
128
May your journey be peaceful and swift, when the time comes. You've been a comforting, kind presence to so many of us here, and you will very much be missed on SaSu. I really hope you're able to find the peace you're looking for.​
 
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gothbird

gothbird

๐™ฟ๐š˜๐šŽ๐š ๐™ถ๐š’๐š›๐š•
Mar 16, 2025
324
It's just the protocol thread and I feel like I miss your posts already...

Anyway, my two cents on the protocol: I don't know about your experiences with zopiclone but in my case I've experienced it taking a while to act but. Sometimes it's prescribed in 10mg form (one tablet and a half) and it's what I've been using to sleep sometimes. It's very effective, but seems to me it has a narrow window: if you stay active through the moment when you feel it starts acting then it feels wasted (if that makes sense).

Ideally you'd want the zopiclone to kick right after drinking the SN so it can do its thing while you're awake so maybe try a 10 mg dose, lay down, and take the SN while relaxed?
Awuh. Thank you for saying that. I will miss you! I'm not gone yet, just drifting a little more while I sort some things out behind the scenes. But your message means a lot.

As for zopiclone, yeah I've had a very similar experience. It's like if you don't catch the wave at just the right moment, it slips past and leaves you wide awake. I find that if I'm even slightly distracted or physically active after taking it, the sedation doesn't hit the way it should. But if I'm already lying down, lights off, mind focused on the intention then it sinks in much better.

I like your idea of timing it to catch the onset just as the SN goes down. That way you're already coasting into sedation before the physical effects begin. I was considering 15mg because of my tolerance, but I might trial 10mg first and see how fast the drowsiness hits me under controlled conditions. Appreciate the insight!
May your journey be peaceful and swift, when the time comes. You've been a comforting, kind presence to so many of us here, and you will very much be missed on SaSu. I really hope you're able to find the peace you're looking for.​
It's strange, isn't it, how in a space like this where so many of us come carrying grief and exhaustion, we somehow still manage to create warmth and understanding for one another. I'm grateful to have been part of that, even for a little while. When the time comes, I'll carry that with me. Until then, I'm still here, still reading, still helping for anyone who needs it. Thank you, Moon!
 
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Q

quietbird

Member
Apr 2, 2025
95
Hey everyone.

My time's drawing closer. If things fall into place the way I'm hoping, I'll be drifting off in the next few months. I've always been a planner by nature, so of course I've been refining the protocol, turning it over like a stone in my hand.

Unfortunately, metoclopramide isn't in reach for me at this time. But I do have a range of other antiemetics I've used before, ones that have worked reliably during hospital stays and long treatments. My tolerance is high, thanks to years of needing them, so I'm building around what I know my body responds to.

This is what I've drafted so far. It's strange to find it easier to guide others through this than it is to chart the map for yourself. But here I am. If anyone has thoughts, corrections, or even small suggestions, I'd really welcome them. I want this to be clean, calm, and clear.



Day 1


TimeMedication and Dose
08:001 x 8mg Ondansetron
16:001 x 8mg Ondansetron
24:001 x 8mg Ondansetron

Day 2


TimeMedication and Dose
08:001 x 8mg Ondansetron
16:001 x 8mg Ondansetron
22:30600mg Ibuprofen or 1000mg Paracetamol
22:452 x 8mg Ondansetron
23:001 x 40mg Omeprazole
23:151 x 5mg Oxycodone (optional; omit if nausea is worsening)
23:301 x 7.5mg Zopiclone
00:0025g Sodium Nitrite drink



I'll have a backup SN dose ready in case I vomit after the first, just in case.

The plan is to mix it on site. I'm thinking I'll bring the SN and the water premeasured but separate, then combine them once I'm where I need to be. That feels simplest, and safer than transporting it premixed.

Open to thoughts, suggestions, cautions...whatever you've got. I'd rather overthink than overlook.
I only just saw this, bird. I feel oddly emotional even though it's not a surprise to know this is why you were here. I don't know your reasons to ctb, but I do know better than to do anything but wish you the peace you want, however you want to have it. That's what I know I also want, and I am even trying to use similar means. This is probably why I've seen so many things you've written, as you've been in threads on topics similar to what I've been reading. In all of those places, you've been the most lovely and generous person with other people. You are outstandingly thoughtful. And I see many others echoing this sentiment.๐Ÿ•Š
 
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gothbird

gothbird

๐™ฟ๐š˜๐šŽ๐š ๐™ถ๐š’๐š›๐š•
Mar 16, 2025
324
I only just saw this, bird. I feel oddly emotional even though it's not a surprise to know this is why you were here. I don't know your reasons to ctb, but I do know better than to do anything but wish you the peace you want, however you want to have it. That's what I know I also want, and I am even trying to use similar means. This is probably why I've seen so many things you've written, as you've been in threads on topics similar to what I've been reading. In all of those places, you've been the most lovely and generous person with other people. You are outstandingly thoughtful. And I see many others echoing this sentiment.๐Ÿ•Š
Thank you for this. Your words settled over me with an unexpected tenderness, and I find myself moved. It's strange, isn't it, how much it matters simply to be seen, especially in places like these where we so often pass like ghosts through one another's lives.

I'm sorry that you, too, are walking this road. And yet, there's something profoundly human in the way we meet here, in the way we extend gentleness, even while fraying at the edges ourselves. I'm grateful that our paths crossed. However things unfold, I hope peace finds you in the way you need it to. I am sure we will be able to visit each others nests, wherever we may land.
A small, lighter update: it's looking likely that I'll be in a reserve when the time comesโ€”under a tree, with birdsong, which feels fitting. I'll need to minimise what I carry, though I'll still have to bring water and the SN etc. I ended up buying some very small water bottles for the solutions. It's a minor thing, but they're genuinely quite charming.

1745227428702 1745227562512
 
Last edited:
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D

DOHARDTHINGS24

Wizard
Apr 30, 2024
660
Hi,
I was reading your protocol selfishly for some better info for my stalled, half-assed one. Our med paths don't cross over, so nothing for me to see here - except the words I'd rather overthink than overlook.
That may be my new mantra, help me feel "less bad" about the overthinking...
I may perhaps have some advice for you though, apologies if I missed it by skimreading (time, privacy) but I think there were a few mentions of laying down. I read the SN chapter of the 2025 pph this week (not the rest) & it had changed from the previous version. They recommended sitting semi-upright, like in an armchair position (also more than 24 hours undisturbed & made BB's optional again). That's all I've got. Hope it helps.
 
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gothbird

gothbird

๐™ฟ๐š˜๐šŽ๐š ๐™ถ๐š’๐š›๐š•
Mar 16, 2025
324
Hi,
I was reading your protocol selfishly for some better info for my stalled, half-assed one. Our med paths don't cross over, so nothing for me to see here - except the words I'd rather overthink than overlook.
That may be my new mantra, help me feel "less bad" about the overthinking...
I may perhaps have some advice for you though, apologies if I missed it by skimreading (time, privacy) but I think there were a few mentions of laying down. I read the SN chapter of the 2025 pph this week (not the rest) & it had changed from the previous version. They recommended sitting semi-upright, like in an armchair position (also more than 24 hours undisturbed & made BB's optional again). That's all I've got. Hope it helps.
Hi. No worries at all, and I appreciate you taking the time, even if just in passing.

I'm planning to remain upright during ingestion, in line with that recommendation. When I mentioned "laying down," I meant it more as a soft way of describing the point at which unconsciousness sets in. Not a literal posture during the active phaseโ€”just the part after the work is done.

Be safe.
 
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Q

quietbird

Member
Apr 2, 2025
95
Thank you for this. Your words settled over me with an unexpected tenderness, and I find myself moved. It's strange, isn't it, how much it matters simply to be seen, especially in places like these where we so often pass like ghosts through one another's lives.

I'm sorry that you, too, are walking this road. And yet, there's something profoundly human in the way we meet here, in the way we extend gentleness, even while fraying at the edges ourselves. I'm grateful that our paths crossed. However things unfold, I hope peace finds you in the way you need it to. I am sure we will be able to visit each others nests, wherever we may land.
A small, lighter update: it's looking likely that I'll be in a reserve when the time comesโ€”under a tree, with birdsong, which feels fitting. I'll need to minimise what I carry, though I'll still have to bring water and the SN etc. I ended up buying some very small water bottles for the solutions. It's a minor thing, but they're genuinely quite charming.

View attachment 164853View attachment 164854
I find this place has so many beautiful people. I'm fumbling with my words as I keep trying to rewrite something good here.

I am surprisingly soothed by the idea of where you will be able to do this. In nature is the perfect spot. It will hold you. I'm tearing up again. I recognise this is no one's first idea, especially with so much planning. This is one of those things that is not "the easy way out", as some will label it... There is nothing easy about getting to this place.

I love those little jars. They are perfect, especially as you'll be carrying them out with you. (I am thinking you can have it all premixed in there, or do you have to mix the solution only right before?) How long will you remain upright? Maybe against a nice tree..

I will miss you. I will think of you.
 
R

Rainking

Member
May 6, 2024
6
"I'd rather overthink than overlook." What a wise and beautiful thought. My hope is that you find peace you seek.
 
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gothbird

gothbird

๐™ฟ๐š˜๐šŽ๐š ๐™ถ๐š’๐š›๐š•
Mar 16, 2025
324
I find this place has so many beautiful people. I'm fumbling with my words as I keep trying to rewrite something good here.

I am surprisingly soothed by the idea of where you will be able to do this. In nature is the perfect spot. It will hold you. I'm tearing up again. I recognise this is no one's first idea, especially with so much planning. This is one of those things that is not "the easy way out", as some will label it... There is nothing easy about getting to this place.

I love those little jars. They are perfect, especially as you'll be carrying them out with you. (I am thinking you can have it all premixed in there, or do you have to mix the solution only right before?) How long will you remain upright? Maybe against a nice tree..

I will miss you. I will think of you.
I agree, nature feels like the right place. It's indifferent in the way that's comforting, and I like the idea of being somewhere that doesn't need anything from me.

I'll be mixing on-site because SN needs to be fresh to stay effective, and I'd rather not take risks with degradation. It's a small additional step, but manageable.

I plan to stay upright for as long as required. Based on existing data and protocols, that's around 20โ€“30 minutes post ingestion. A tree makes sense, yes! Something solid to rest against, especially once the dizziness starts. But I also won't be afraid to lay down in the brush and listen to the bird song.

I appreciate your words. I know none of this is easyโ€”for anyone. I will miss you and think of you, too, fellow bird. Thank you for being so kind to me.
"I'd rather overthink than overlook." What a wise and beautiful thought. My hope is that you find peace you seek.
I appreciate the kindness.
 
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Q

quietbird

Member
Apr 2, 2025
95
I agree, nature feels like the right place. It's indifferent in the way that's comforting, and I like the idea of being somewhere that doesn't need anything from me.

I'll be mixing on-site because SN needs to be fresh to stay effective, and I'd rather not take risks with degradation. It's a small additional step, but manageable.

I plan to stay upright for as long as required. Based on existing data and protocols, that's around 20โ€“30 minutes post ingestion. A tree makes sense, yes! Something solid to rest against, especially once the dizziness starts. But I also won't be afraid to lay down in the brush and listen to the bird song.

I appreciate your words. I know none of this is easyโ€”for anyone. I will miss you and think of you, too, fellow bird. Thank you for being so kind to me.

I appreciate the kindness.
Nature is one thing that can still offer us peace, which I think is beautiful. Nature also believes in change and death. That's important even though I usually hate that lesson.

I continue to learn and relearn things about sn protocol, so I'm glad you mentioned needing to be upright at the start. Somehow I kept missing that. (I am thinking that eventually a person naturally lays back. But someone is mentioning chance of asphyxiation.)

I hope you are doing okay.
 
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D

DOHARDTHINGS24

Wizard
Apr 30, 2024
660
I "swore" I read in the 2025 pph to stay semi-upright for the whole time.
Not just ingestion, but for the newly recommended 24 hours.
My memory is very poor but I thought I remembered those 2 things as they were so distinctive to me from previous versions. Always happy to be wrong, too tired to investigate myself, maybe someone with a working memory can have a quick look at the sticky & see???
Best of luck.
 

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