Good bye. Complete Suspension in a couple of hours.

[todeswunsch]

As I posted earlier this week, I've planned doing complete suspension. Today is the day. In a couple of ours, late at night, I'll hang my self.
I'm a 29yo autistic man. No friends. No love. No hope. No dreams.
I never felt that life is worth living, but kept going to try proving me wrong. The last few years life is being only pain and suffering. All my greatest fears have come to reality. I'm drowned by trauma, fear and hate. I have no reason to stay. I just want to be gone.
I don't believe in god or afterlife. I don't care about what is next.
My only concern right now is fighting SI. I have to take this opportunity to go, and I can't chicken out.
I have everything setup, just waiting the time. Not sure if I'll leave any notes, or send messages

Spoiler: Setup

If I don't show up telling otherwise until monday, mods please cross out my name.
Thanks everyone who I've met here in SaSu.
Good bye

 

[ifwgarfieldheavy]

As I posted earlier this week, I've planned doing complete suspension. Today is the day. In a couple of ours, late at night, I'll hang my self.
I'm a 29yo autistic man. No friends. No love. No hope. No dreams.
I never felt that life is worth living, but kept going to try proving me wrong. The last few years life is being only pain and suffering. All my greatest fears have come to reality. I'm drowned by trauma, fear and hate. I have no reason to stay. I just want to be gone.
I don't believe in god or afterlife. I don't care about what is next.
My only concern right now is fighting SI. I have to take this opportunity to go, and I can't chicken out.
I have everything setup, just waiting the time. Not sure if I'll leave any notes, or send messages

Spoiler: Setup

View attachment 145356

If I don't show up telling otherwise until monday, mods please cross out my name.
Thanks everyone who I've met here in SaSu.
Good bye

only do this if you are 100% sure, you still have time to meet people, there are resources out there for you

 

[randal_bond]

Totally relate as autistic person myself. Sorry you've been suffering for so long. Are you sure that hanging is the only way? It's one of the most horrible ways to go. Even Sodium Nitrite would be better. Hell, almost anything will be better.

 

[sometimesoon]

I hope you find peace

 

[todeswunsch]

only do this if you are 100% sure, you still have time to meet people, there are resources out there for you

I've been trying everything for years, and things only get worse. I can't see how it could change to make life worth living. I've been kept alive for too long for my taste. Thanks for the advise tho.

Totally relate as autistic person myself. Sorry you've been suffering for so long. Are you sure that hanging is the only way? It's one of the most horrible ways to go. Even Sodium Nitrite would be better. Hell, almost anything will be better.

Thank you. Yeah not the most pleasant way, but is the most reliable method that I have access. I rather have to suffer more than risk failing. A few minutes of pain can prevent I lifetime of pain.

I hope you find peace

Thank you a lot

 

[1043169]

I hope whatever you decide to do you find peace.

 

[lostintheblackhole]

I hate you feel this way, I truly do. Hanging seems like such a hard way to go, considering that you know that, shows you really want to escape. Something to consider with any suicide, is to be mindful of how this will effect others. Whether its family who will find out or whoever it is that finds you, somewhere along the line your death will impact another persons life. I'm not sure if you care about that but its something to think about in these moments you want to be your last. Your death will have meaning to someone out there, regardless of who it is. I'd also like to throw in that I, myself, I really don't know what exactly I believe in, in regards to whatever it is that may be outside of humanly life. However, I do think something put us here and that there had to be something before life and something after death. What it is? I am not sure but there's a chance that there is something. Regardless of what that something may be, if countless religions can agree that suicide leads to something "bad" in whatever comes next, despite the fact that religions bicker with each other over who is right and wrong about things, perhaps suicide could very well be a negative thing. Whatever you end up doing, I wish you the best and hope you find peace. Just take my words as some food for thought or perhaps nothing at all. Post if things fall through or you need something, even if its just to vent. Good luck, dear stranger.

 

[rozeske]

I'm sorry life hasn't been kinder to you and it had to come to this. Whatever you decide, I wish you the best. I hope you find your peace.

 

[rebelnow111]

im autistic also. its so terrible that life can be so bad that you have to consider such a painful and stressful suicide. hope u feel better.

 

[Yonlux]

@Evelyn Lane
What knot is that worn around the neck? What do you think of this node?

 

[lucmucpuc]

i hope you will find your peace. see you on the other side : )

 

[Davey40210]

This is back in July but clearly he crossed over.. wish you peace

 

[po1sentree]

May you find peace.

 

[parentportaldotnet]

As I posted earlier this week, I've planned doing complete suspension. Today is the day. In a couple of ours, late at night, I'll hang my self.
I'm a 29yo autistic man. No friends. No love. No hope. No dreams.
I never felt that life is worth living, but kept going to try proving me wrong. The last few years life is being only pain and suffering. All my greatest fears have come to reality. I'm drowned by trauma, fear and hate. I have no reason to stay. I just want to be gone.
I don't believe in god or afterlife. I don't care about what is next.
My only concern right now is fighting SI. I have to take this opportunity to go, and I can't chicken out.
I have everything setup, just waiting the time. Not sure if I'll leave any notes, or send messages

Spoiler: Setup

View attachment 145356

If I don't show up telling otherwise until monday, mods please cross out my name.
Thanks everyone who I've met here in SaSu.
Good bye

i'm sure you've already set sail by the time i'm posting this. i hope you've found bliss in your decision. good luck, friend.

 

[SilentSadness]

Goodbye. That sounds like a painful experience. I hope you are no longer suffering. You were very brave to go through with that.

 

[Ashu]

I hate you feel this way, I truly do. Hanging seems like such a hard way to go, considering that you know that, shows you really want to escape. Something to consider with any suicide, is to be mindful of how this will effect others. Whether its family who will find out or whoever it is that finds you, somewhere along the line your death will impact another persons life. I'm not sure if you care about that but its something to think about in these moments you want to be your last. Your death will have meaning to someone out there, regardless of who it is. I'd also like to throw in that I, myself, I really don't know what exactly I believe in, in regards to whatever it is that may be outside of humanly life. However, I do think something put us here and that there had to be something before life and something after death. What it is? I am not sure but there's a chance that there is something. Regardless of what that something may be, if countless religions can agree that suicide leads to something "bad" in whatever comes next, despite the fact that religions bicker with each other over who is right and wrong about things, perhaps suicide could very well be a negative thing. Whatever you end up doing, I wish you the best and hope you find peace. Just take my words as some food for thought or perhaps nothing at all. Post if things fall through or you need something, even if its just to vent. Good luck, dear stranger.

What are you doing in this group?

 

[Yonlux]

@Evelyn Lane
What knot is that worn around the neck? What do you think of this node?

Can anyone else tell us?

 

[badtothebone]

As I posted earlier this week, I've planned doing complete suspension. Today is the day. In a couple of ours, late at night, I'll hang my self.
I'm a 29yo autistic man. No friends. No love. No hope. No dreams.
I never felt that life is worth living, but kept going to try proving me wrong. The last few years life is being only pain and suffering. All my greatest fears have come to reality. I'm drowned by trauma, fear and hate. I have no reason to stay. I just want to be gone.
I don't believe in god or afterlife. I don't care about what is next.
My only concern right now is fighting SI. I have to take this opportunity to go, and I can't chicken out.
I have everything setup, just waiting the time. Not sure if I'll leave any notes, or send messages

Spoiler: Setup

View attachment 145356

If I don't show up telling otherwise until monday, mods please cross out my name.
Thanks everyone who I've met here in SaSu.
Good bye

Is there anything we can do to change your mind! Sometime one small thing can keep you alive. I don't know your story and I know you're in pain. None will go through this emotional pain and setup their own death unless they are hurt. Trust me after my son died by suicide I realized how bad to live feeling nothing I'm living it now. Please think about it once you do this there is no coming back. Think about your loved ones. I hope you change your mind.

 

[randal_bond]

Is there anything we can do to change your mind! Sometime one small thing can keep you alive. I don't know your story and I know you're in pain. None will go through this emotional pain and setup their own death unless they are hurt. Trust me after my son died by suicide I realized how bad to live feeling nothing I'm living it now. Please think about it once you do this there is no coming back. Think about your loved ones. I hope you change your mind.

Not nice to make people who have no choice feel like a bad person hurting their loved ones. Plus, the post was two months ago. What's the point of replying to it now?

 

[Decided98]

@Evelyn Lane
What knot is that worn around the neck? What do you think of this node?

Is it Hangman's knot?

 

[Yonlux]

Is it Hangman's knot?

I don't know, i'm curious

 

[Timothy7dff]

Is the rope strong enough?

 

[Decided98]

Is the rope strong enough?

He hasn't been active since jul 12, so I would assume so

I don't know, i'm curious

Quite certain it is

 

[athiestjoe]

I hope OP found peace. See you on the other side of these clouds whenver I CTB.

 

[z.szzh]

I hope you've found peace.

 

[fruitty]

Im crying

 

[(in)sane]

Totally relate as autistic person myself. Sorry you've been suffering for so long. Are you sure that hanging is the only way? It's one of the most horrible ways to go. Even Sodium Nitrite would be better. Hell, almost anything will be better.

Could you maybe explain why you wouldn't recommend hanging? And from what I've seen on here I thought SN was like one of the best options.. what methods are better and why?

 

[badtothebone]

Not nice to make people who have no choice feel like a bad person hurting their loved ones. Plus, the post was two months ago. What's the point of replying to it now?

I should take your permission on when to reply? Stay the fuck away from me in here. I'm not even in your posts and will never be.

 

[redtrafficlight]

First post 82yo male. Any chance others posting could select a larger bolder font for vision impaired? It was a long and convoluted path to get here. This may help others in using search engines. I have used Chrome an Duck Duck Go (DDG) through Belong for years. I hadn't realised how filtered is my ISP and DDG.. Any search on suicide just turns up pages of Beyond Blue blah blah or news reports. In desperation I loaded TOR followed by Yandex search engine. Who cares if the Kremlin knows everything about me - Google does. In researching N2 death experience I came across a couple of YouTube clips on N2 pig euthanasia. It was very informative and reassuring. The pig in question did not appear to struggle just extend her snout to the non existent normal atmosphere. It was still in less than 15 seconds. It did not release its body fluids either. I would still wear a nappy. If the mods approve I'll post the link. Despite the TOR/Yandex search method, I still had to jump through a Yandex hoop to view the video. As a matter of interest I'm not contemplating immediate suicide because I'm losing mobility slowly. I'm just trying to get my ducks in a row before I'm unable to care for myself. While fossicking around in the shed today I found an argon regulator and flow meter. I had forgotten I had it when I had an Oxy acetylene welding plant. I thought that may come in handy because I used to have a BOC account.

 

[Yonlux]

The anchor knot can be act wrong if made some mistake? Or is a good knot to anchoring? (I'm wondering between water bowline knot or anchor knot)
thank you in advance.