• ⚠️ UK Access Block Notice: Beginning July 1, 2025, this site will no longer be accessible from the United Kingdom. This is a voluntary decision made by the site's administrators. We were not forced or ordered to implement this block. If you're located in the UK, we recommend using a VPN to maintain access.

Qua

Qua

there's no turning back now
Apr 30, 2023
77
Whole day my mood has been absolutely terrible. I've been at the edge of bursting out crying of harming myself on an impulse. Now it's almost 12am and mom came to me, straight up mad that I am mad and annoyed. I spilled so much what was bothering me, why I am like this today and feel worse lately. What did she tell me? She told me that it's straight up my fault, because I'm sitting in my room all day and because I don't come out to talk with her and her boyfriend. She told me to go out, she told me to go clean and tidy the house and that's how I'll feel better. Sorry, bitch, but I don't think any of that will help when I'm literally dying on the inside and my mental health has been deteriorating. At this point I'm not even scared to die, not even scared that my mother will feel terrible when I ctb because of how she reacted when I told her I don't like my life and the way it came out, when I told her I am mad she gave birth to me. She had no reaction whatsoever, even asked me if it's all her fault then, trying to play the victim as she always does

I found more calming meds in my room and took some, now just waiting and hoping for it to drug me so I don't feel shit
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: lost_ange1 and divinemistress36
D

dolemitedrums

Arcanist
Jun 12, 2024
449
At this point I'm not even scared to die, not even scared that my mother will feel terrible when I ctb because of how she reacted when I told her I don't like my life and the way it came out, when I told her I am mad she gave birth to me. She had no reaction whatsoever, even asked me if it's all her fault then, trying to play the victim as she always does..

To be fair, this is a pretty harsh thing to say to your mother. How was she supposed to react.
 
Qua

Qua

there's no turning back now
Apr 30, 2023
77
To be fair, this is a pretty harsh thing to say to your mother. How was she supposed to react.
I don't know. She always plays the victim, no matter what I say and no matter how I express my feelings. I've never put her at fault, even when it clearly was hers. First time I said what I truly meant so I don't feel bad
 
lost_ange1

lost_ange1

An angel who wants to go home..
May 29, 2024
156
That's harsh, I'm sorry you have to deal with such people.
 
  • Love
Reactions: Qua
ToastInTheShell

ToastInTheShell

Professional Idiot
Mar 17, 2024
38
Though what she said was pretty misguided it does sound like she wants to help, she's just bad at it. If you're even on this forum I think it's safe to say that you're past the point of "tidy room tidy mind". I think a lot of non-suicidal people find it hard to grasp what wanting death feels like, so you've gotta give her a bit of a break. Plus, what you said probably did hurt her pretty bad. Still doesn't excuse her emotional ignorance. Sorry you had to deal with that.
 
  • Love
Reactions: Qua

Similar threads

NeoN0va
Replies
5
Views
390
Suicide Discussion
annxietty
annxietty
N
Replies
29
Views
790
Offtopic
noname223
N
L
Replies
0
Views
146
Suicide Discussion
lonergirl_26
L
hyuk✮i
Replies
2
Views
270
Recovery
Worndown
Worndown