giving up

[failedmind]

i've been suicidal for the past 15 years. when i was younger, i always hoped i would have to courage to end it by 18. never did, wish i did. fuck i really wish i did. life has gotten 100x worse. anyways, the past few months have gone from really wanting to die to actually making a plan to go through with it. almost feeling detached from everything else, knowing it will hurt others while knowing the pain is too deep to continue. i feel determined even though im scared of out of my mind. will either be hanging or gun. i've fully given up. i spend everyday crying in my bed, can't hold a job, nothing excites me anymore, not even little things that used to. i have no friends, i don't leave the house, i dont contribute anything to anyone. i'm done and drained. hopefully will have everything in order to be gone by the end of the year, hopefully earlier. idk why i'm making this post, i guess i just feel so fucking alone.

 

[Ben 111]

U are not alone, never...i also have anhedonia im tired of living and completely burntout at 21.life is so overrated

 

[Alexandra_]

You are doing the right thing by sharing this with us. Sometimes, pouring out your heart makes things feel a little lighter. Keeping everything bottled up isn't easy. I understand your pain. I, too, want to return to nothingness. It was so peaceful there. I regret ending up in this world; everything here feels alien to me, and everything around me seems so bleak

 

[failedmind]

U are not alone, never...i also have anhedonia im tired of living and completely burntout at 21.life is so overrated

i'm sorry you feel similar :( i agree, it's very overrated

You are doing the right thing by sharing this with us. Sometimes, pouring out your heart makes things feel a little lighter. Keeping everything bottled up isn't easy. I understand your pain. I, too, want to return to nothingness. It was so peaceful there. I regret ending up in this world; everything here feels alien to me, and everything around me seems so bleak

thank you, i 100% agree with you. i'm sorry you feel the same :/