Venting Give me hope or give me death

[Arctic-hare]

Probably already ranted about this but here goes again!

I have near constant suicidal thoughts. The desire to die or have things end for me are just so strong but I feel like ctb is just to hard. All the "methods" I would have done are non-methods and it is frustrating on how hard it is to just give up. The only reason I still live I think is purely the lack of energy to do something to kms so I guess I will just live? I feel like crying but I am just too tired to cry and the things that once gave me joy or distraction now do not.

I want hope, something that can snap me from this darkness in my mind, I want this to end with me recovering or dying as soon as possible but like I said, dying is so fucking hard it is an constant cycle and going on in my mind at all times.

 

[NihilDoll]

I don't think any post on here ever resonated that hard with me

 

[bl33ding_heart]

It may feel impossible. But just know that things absolutely can get better. I know that because I've been through the depths of hell emotionally due to my bpd, and I really thought I wouldn't make it. But here I am. And that fact makes me believe in others even more, and want others to try hard and push themselves to get better. If you end up ridding yourself from your problems and bettering your life, you will be thankful that you pushed through and made it out. However, simply just dying without even trying is wasting that opportunity. The light on the other side does exist. And I believe in you.

 

[Arctic-hare]

It may feel impossible. But just know that things absolutely can get better. I know that because I've been through the depths of hell emotionally due to my bpd, and I really thought I wouldn't make it. But here I am. And that fact makes me believe in others even more, and want others to try hard and push themselves to get better. If you end up ridding yourself from your problems and bettering your life, you will be thankful that you pushed through and made it out. However, simply just dying without even trying is wasting that opportunity. The light on the other side does exist. And I believe in you.

How did you survive it? If you don't mind me asking.

I often feel like I fucked up my life (Long story that is not that interesting) and am "too old" to try and salvage what is left. But other times I feel hope, fleeting and flickering.

 

[bl33ding_heart]

How did you survive it? If you don't mind me asking.

I often feel like I fucked up my life (Long story that is not that interesting) and am "too old" to try and salvage what is left. But other times I feel hope, fleeting and flickering.

Well first I had to actually want to get better and believe that my life can improve. It may sound very difficult, but just having that in your mind significantly helps. And I took moving on from my painful situations that felt like they would kill me in baby steps. Don't bottle up your pain, feel it through. But also dont overwhelm yourself with it. Talking to others and making new friends really helps. It's what's been helping me push through the pain and not commit these past few days.