Getting unsure?

[Ednospatient]

I'm getting unsure about dying all of a sudden? Do I really want it? Every day is hell but the dying process is scaring me more than ever. I developed a fear of hanging after my latest attempt. I've been depressed for 6 years and it feels weird to think about backing out at this point. Also my eating disorder is making me not want to live, but I really don't know what I want anymore.

 

[eternalflame]

Well i get scared all the time, so i delay my date. Like i dont want to die but i cant continue to live my life. Wishing you the best in whatever you decide.

 

[whatevs]

Welcome to the well known limbo of not really liking it here but not really wanting to leave.

 

[Britvik]

On one hand, life involves inescapable suffering and seems pointless in the grand scheme of things. On the other hand, suffering can usually be overcome and brings rewards that can make it seem worthwhile. It's no wonder you're unsure! Where there's a lack of certainty, hope still exists.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand the fear of hanging, to me it really is such a terrifying way to leave this world. The fear of failure is what holds me back from attempting. We all deserve the option of a peaceful way to end our suffering. I'm sorry that you are in such an awful situation. I wish you the best in whatever happens.

 

[jimmy7754]

Everybody just wants to get out of here without any pain.. we all just want to slide into the next room.. the void but to get there is very troublesome..

 

[rationaltake]

Everybody just wants to get out of here without any pain.. we all just want to slide into the next room.. the void but to get there is very troublesome..

Exactly.

 

[Britvik]

Everybody just wants to get out of here without any pain.. we all just want to slide into the next room.. the void but to get there is very troublesome..

Not quite, in my case. To me it's more like watching one of those shit movies that occasionally contains a bit of intrigue that prevents you from switching off the TV! Just as you're reaching for the remote control something interesting happens and you carry on watching it a bit longer. I'm resigned to viewing the final credits now

 

[jimmy7754]

Not quite, in my case. To me it's more like watching one of those shit movies that occasionally contains a bit of intrigue that prevents you from switching off the TV! Just as you're reaching for the remote control something interesting happens and you carry on watching it a bit longer. I'm resigned to viewing the final credits now

I sometimes can't watch or enjoy anything for months..

 

[Ednospatient]

Like fuck I can't keep living life like this but do I really want to die?

 

[eternalflame]

Then wait, we can all kill ourselves a little bit later. Unless we can't because we are afraid of some date or event. Wishing you the best whatever you choose.

 

[ornitier199]

Welcome to the well known limbo of not really liking it here but not really wanting to leave.

Put it perfectly.

 

[speck]

You have time to decide, don't rush yourself. Maybe try recovery board for a period?

 

[myopybyproxy]

Like fuck I can't keep living life like this but do I really want to die?

This. Exactly this. I hate it here but can't seem to get myself to leave. And I hate myself for it.

Then wait, we can all kill ourselves a little bit later. Unless we can't because we are afraid of some date or event. Wishing you the best whatever you choose.

I'm a proponent of the 'unsure? wait a bit, you can always die later; death isn't going anywhere' mindset / philosophy but increasingly it's becoming unbearable. I don't want to spend the duration of my existence merely waiting.

'Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die'.