Getting over laziness

[DeathIsTheWayOut99]

I always feel like I am not doing enough. For now I am in college while I am home with my dad and bro. Compared to when my bitch mom was alive, life in many ways is better. But trauma from abuse prevents me from living life fully. Usually I have this urge to stay home and do nothing when I know going outside fo a walk or doing something productive is healthy. I can't seem to stop feeling "lazy" What the fuck is wrong with me?

 

[Living_Hurts_so_Much]

I always feel like I am not doing enough. For now I am in college while I am home with my dad and bro. Compared to when my bitch mom was alive, life in many ways is better. But trauma from abuse prevents me from living life fully. Usually I have this urge to stay home and do nothing when I know going outside fo a walk or doing something productive is healthy. I can't seem to stop feeling "lazy" What the fuck is wrong with me?

I don't think there is anything wrong with you. I have no drive anymore. I don't want to do anything but I go about my day and feel like a robot following a program trying to forget how sh!tty life is.

 

[lostangel]

I'm sorry to hear about you experiencing abuse. I found when I did nofap I became more motivated as I wasn't being rewarded for doing something easy and quick. I'm not saying it will fix your problems but I know it has helped me.

Could you be burnt out? Maybe sick of all the bs you have endured. I would suggest going easy on yourself and maybe you could try doing small things and building up momentum to help with the bigger things. Like cleaning your room.

 

[CynicalHopelessness]

You might have internalized a morality that says productive = good, lazy = bad. It's not exactly uncommon, has been giving me anxiety for years and I still can't shake it off.

What helped me a lot is to actually throw the moral compass away. I.e. not thinking "lazy is not bad", or "lazy is good", or anything like that, but just straight out rejecting the division of my actions and inaction into good or bad, stopping judging myself. It's when I can stop forcing myself to do something based on that morality, I can actually find enough energy to do things that are worth doing, e.g. fasting and exercising, contributing to open-source or educating myself with some quality popular science books.

But it also comes with the fact that some days will be shitty where you would only wanna sit home and lay in bed or play video games. Feeling guilty for this not only doesn't speed up the "healthy" acts, in fact it only builds disgust for those things as you can only do them from obligation. And as disgust is built more and more, I even forgot how to want stuff that doesn't give instant gratification.