ImpairedLowlife
Empty and hollow
- Aug 3, 2020
- 424
Finally almost broke up with the only person who tries to save me.
Found a shop nearby with cheap ropes.
Feeling like I accepted "bad ending"
Hopefully I will finish it soon. Too tired of false hopes and all of bullshit happening in my life.
I was close several times, but never finished it. Probably because I still had a hope that everything will get better. But nothing ever did. It only became worse.
I don't only feel bad but like my life was ended year or two before. I am not myself anymore and this life shouldn't keep going.
I realized the biggest problem is me myself. Even after I got to much better place and find somebody who truly loves me I couldn't stop self distraction. And made a lot of mistakes in relationships.
I feel really guilty, because my death will make this person really sad. But I can't keep going like this, life with me would've been only worse for both of us. I am doomed and trying to help me is like tying yourself with a rope to a drowning man with a heavy rock.
I will probably post a goodbye thread in a few months if not few weeks.
Thanks for everyone on SS. It feels eternally pleasant to talk to people about your deepest feelings without being judged and realizing you are not the only one who feels this way. Love you all.
Found a shop nearby with cheap ropes.
Feeling like I accepted "bad ending"
Hopefully I will finish it soon. Too tired of false hopes and all of bullshit happening in my life.
I was close several times, but never finished it. Probably because I still had a hope that everything will get better. But nothing ever did. It only became worse.
I don't only feel bad but like my life was ended year or two before. I am not myself anymore and this life shouldn't keep going.
I realized the biggest problem is me myself. Even after I got to much better place and find somebody who truly loves me I couldn't stop self distraction. And made a lot of mistakes in relationships.
I feel really guilty, because my death will make this person really sad. But I can't keep going like this, life with me would've been only worse for both of us. I am doomed and trying to help me is like tying yourself with a rope to a drowning man with a heavy rock.
I will probably post a goodbye thread in a few months if not few weeks.
Thanks for everyone on SS. It feels eternally pleasant to talk to people about your deepest feelings without being judged and realizing you are not the only one who feels this way. Love you all.
