Funny suicide notes

[strawb12]

If I do end up leaving a note it'll probably be some sick joke I'd find it hilarious but my family won't. Like making a scavenger hunt that leads to my body. Writing "they double dog dared me. Or (insert name)"kys, you won't." (Me) "watch this." Saying that this is all one persons fault & they drove me to suicide but only vaguely hinting at who so there'll be a huge investigation. Or even better saying one person out of ten people & then list all the possible suspects, so they all end up being investigated. Or making a mad lib suicide that's like, I just couldent keep living because I felt so (insert emotion), I'm so sorry to (insert name) I'll miss you. Anyways what do you all think of something like that & do you guys have any good ideas that would be funny?

 

[7213882898]

please don't take any of this as encouragement. Try recovery as much as possible beforehand and the like, etc, etc. regardless here are some i came up with
"lactating pregnant latinas"

"lol" (that's it)

"watch THIS" (like if ur in a room have that on a door)

a bunch of hitman(the game)-tier death puns. "this life was to DIE for" type shit.

im not creative i can't come up with more

 

[NearlyIrrelevantCake]

Not exactly a note, but before I CTB, I'm going to post this Onion article as my last-ever FaceBook post. And I am mentioning in my note that I'll come back and haunt anyone if they remove it from my FB page.

Study Reveals Majority Of Suicides Occur While Trying To Put Fitted Sheet On Bed

BALTIMORE—According to a study published Monday in Psychological Bulletin, more than 83 percent of suicides take place when an individual is faced with the task of putting a fitted sheet onto a mattress. “In the majority of these cases, people end their lives after trying in vain to get the...

www.theonion.com

 

[Forever Sleep]

It's not a note or a scavenger hunt but, you've got to love this guys sense of humour:

 

[natthebrat]

That's a good idea, maybe I'll just write down links to some videos/memes vaguely related to my reasons for ctb and which I find funny, then everyone who sees it can come to their own conclusions.

 

[Fe(IV)]

I wouldn't do that ever, but something along the lines of "Oxo.exe stopped responding. Close program?" would be very on-brand of my type of humor

 

[Zer0]

I once thought about leaving a note with only gen z slang, it would be really funny seeing the cops trying to understand it.