CyanideSoup
Memento mori
- Oct 1, 2019
- 463
Sorry I just need to vent about my crappy experience with the NHS Mental health team in my area.
I am so angry and upset right now. I hadn't seen my mental health worker since August 26th and despite me, my social worker and a support charity trying to contact her multiple times we heard nothing back. So I finally got around to starting a formal complaint about the shitty service I'd recieved and suddenly my worker sends me a letter for a meeting with her and her team manager. I got there and after half an hour waiting the receptionist came over and said I'm really sorry but we can't find your worker anywhere. When she was eventually found, that was 45 mins of our appointment time wasted.
So I sit in this room with my worker and her manager and they ask me to say in my own words why I am unhappy with the service I have recieved. I explained that every previous appointments I'd had with my worker she would offer me no support with my mental health and instead go on and on about my weight. And even when I reminded her of my eating disorder diagnosis and that talking about my weight wasnt helpful for me she would continue to tell me that it wasn't an excuse and I needed to lose weight and eat this and do this excersize. She would also weigh me at my appointments. I would keep expressing that I'd rather focus on learning to manage my hallucinations or my mood swings but she would just say oh we will do that next time. That never happened. Id express I'm feeling suicidal and she would just say "oh that's not good I'm sorry to hear that" and then change the subject.
I explained all of that to her manager and she basically said it was poor communication on both sides and tried to justify it. She then sat there and tried to explain my BPD diagnosis and the hallucinations that I have to me like I'm a child. She said the when people with BPD have hallucinations they are only there when the person is in a high emotional crisis and they go away when the crisis ends. I said no mine aren't like that, I've had them consistently every day for a year now. She got cross and said "I'd stop pushing for a psychosis diagnosis if i was you, you don't want people to think you've lost your mind" and I told her that's not what Im doing I'm just trying to explain that my hallucinations aren't the same as what she described and I started panicking and crying. She told me I clearly have low self esteem because I take everything they say as a personal attack. She kept telling me off for not making eye contact when I can't make eye contact with people I find intimidating. That it's not their job to fix me, I need to fix myself. That I'm going to have to live with my BPD for the rest of my life and I just need to be more resilient.
So yeah. Fuck them. I'm done trying to get help from people who clearly think I'm a waste of time.
I am so angry and upset right now. I hadn't seen my mental health worker since August 26th and despite me, my social worker and a support charity trying to contact her multiple times we heard nothing back. So I finally got around to starting a formal complaint about the shitty service I'd recieved and suddenly my worker sends me a letter for a meeting with her and her team manager. I got there and after half an hour waiting the receptionist came over and said I'm really sorry but we can't find your worker anywhere. When she was eventually found, that was 45 mins of our appointment time wasted.
So I sit in this room with my worker and her manager and they ask me to say in my own words why I am unhappy with the service I have recieved. I explained that every previous appointments I'd had with my worker she would offer me no support with my mental health and instead go on and on about my weight. And even when I reminded her of my eating disorder diagnosis and that talking about my weight wasnt helpful for me she would continue to tell me that it wasn't an excuse and I needed to lose weight and eat this and do this excersize. She would also weigh me at my appointments. I would keep expressing that I'd rather focus on learning to manage my hallucinations or my mood swings but she would just say oh we will do that next time. That never happened. Id express I'm feeling suicidal and she would just say "oh that's not good I'm sorry to hear that" and then change the subject.
I explained all of that to her manager and she basically said it was poor communication on both sides and tried to justify it. She then sat there and tried to explain my BPD diagnosis and the hallucinations that I have to me like I'm a child. She said the when people with BPD have hallucinations they are only there when the person is in a high emotional crisis and they go away when the crisis ends. I said no mine aren't like that, I've had them consistently every day for a year now. She got cross and said "I'd stop pushing for a psychosis diagnosis if i was you, you don't want people to think you've lost your mind" and I told her that's not what Im doing I'm just trying to explain that my hallucinations aren't the same as what she described and I started panicking and crying. She told me I clearly have low self esteem because I take everything they say as a personal attack. She kept telling me off for not making eye contact when I can't make eye contact with people I find intimidating. That it's not their job to fix me, I need to fix myself. That I'm going to have to live with my BPD for the rest of my life and I just need to be more resilient.
So yeah. Fuck them. I'm done trying to get help from people who clearly think I'm a waste of time.
