xLosthopex
Tell my dogs I love them
- May 29, 2020
- 1,133
Warning: Me rambling a load of incoherent shite with little to no structure or purpose, proceed at your own risk…
Not that anyone cares or should care but anyway… to members on the site who I've gotten to know(to whatever degree), to people who know me in real life & authorities/police etc. who may come across my profile and posts on here once I'm gone… I just wanted to state all of this for the record:
If I randomly disappear from this site for a prolonged period of time without making a goodbye thread, it's safe to assume I've died from my Anorexia. If I do(and I really hope I find the courage and ability to overcome SI in the meantime) decide to ctb using my N before that happens I will for sure make a goodbye thread.
My ED is totally out of control(not that I'd have it any other way, after all it's my no. 1 coping mechanism), I spend 99% of my time binging and purging, I'm severely underweight, I'm in and out of A&E constantly due to hypokalemia(this is most likely what is going to kill me as it will causecardiac arrest) and other health complications such as seizures, heart problems etc. I also have had osteoporosis since I was a teenager(now in my early 20s), I have arthritis in my knees, fucked up my esophagus, stomach and my entire digestive system.. just stating this because even if mentally things were to get better for me and I was in a position to recover from my ED I would have lifelong severe health complications
And I know that they won't be able to actually put this on my autopsy report if I do die from my anorexia, but again for public record I wanted to state that I would like the people who knew me to still consider it a suicide. I knew what I was doing and I knew the consequences of my eating disorder behaviors. I didn't want the help nor was there anything more anyone could have done to stop me.
Anyway just felt the need to voice all this because I don't want people making false assumptions and speculations about me once I'm gone.
Also for the record, to the police/authorities/media especially, this site was NOT the cause of my death, I believe the right to die is a fundamental right and choice for every adult of sound mind(which I believe that I am) to make, so don't go pointing fingers at SS for something that was 100% MY choice.
-A
Not that anyone cares or should care but anyway… to members on the site who I've gotten to know(to whatever degree), to people who know me in real life & authorities/police etc. who may come across my profile and posts on here once I'm gone… I just wanted to state all of this for the record:
If I randomly disappear from this site for a prolonged period of time without making a goodbye thread, it's safe to assume I've died from my Anorexia. If I do(and I really hope I find the courage and ability to overcome SI in the meantime) decide to ctb using my N before that happens I will for sure make a goodbye thread.
My ED is totally out of control(not that I'd have it any other way, after all it's my no. 1 coping mechanism), I spend 99% of my time binging and purging, I'm severely underweight, I'm in and out of A&E constantly due to hypokalemia(this is most likely what is going to kill me as it will causecardiac arrest) and other health complications such as seizures, heart problems etc. I also have had osteoporosis since I was a teenager(now in my early 20s), I have arthritis in my knees, fucked up my esophagus, stomach and my entire digestive system.. just stating this because even if mentally things were to get better for me and I was in a position to recover from my ED I would have lifelong severe health complications
And I know that they won't be able to actually put this on my autopsy report if I do die from my anorexia, but again for public record I wanted to state that I would like the people who knew me to still consider it a suicide. I knew what I was doing and I knew the consequences of my eating disorder behaviors. I didn't want the help nor was there anything more anyone could have done to stop me.
Anyway just felt the need to voice all this because I don't want people making false assumptions and speculations about me once I'm gone.
Also for the record, to the police/authorities/media especially, this site was NOT the cause of my death, I believe the right to die is a fundamental right and choice for every adult of sound mind(which I believe that I am) to make, so don't go pointing fingers at SS for something that was 100% MY choice.
-A
