Venting Fooling myself to get over SI.

[Chiisai]

It seems I cant get over SI no matter how much I push myself. As long as I see the preparation, SI kicks in. Im thinking I'll put it in one of my water bottles and ride around town till I get to drink it. Of course I'll be stopping over if I want to drink and sit it out for 30 mins to prevent road accidents/collision. Passing out on a scenic view with one's motorbike looks peaceful, the adrenaline running helps with the pain if there's any.

 

[Alwaysbadtime]

Hopefully you won't be found too soon.

 

[Chiisai]

Hopefully you won't be found too soon.

Yes. I'll be taking the route to the countryside. That way, there's not much people nor near city hospitals. :)

 

[rosie93]

I should have been gone in March, yet here I am. Every day and night same nightmare - I can't kill myself. Most people who commit suicide just do it. They don't waste time searching the internet and looking for a method. I have my SN. What am I waiting for??!!

 

[Chiisai]

I should have been gone in March, yet here I am. Every day and night same nightmare - I can't kill myself. Most people who commit suicide just do it. They don't waste time searching the internet and looking for a method. I have my SN. What am I waiting for??!!

I feel you and understand your pain. As for my hesitation, I was so determined a few months ago but a lot of factors popped up that I havent thought of or wasnt present before. I am just waiting for the day I getvenough courage to do it.

 

[rosie93]

I feel you and understand your pain. As for my hesitation, I was so determined a few months ago but a lot of factors popped up that I havent thought of or wasnt present before. I am just waiting for the day I getvenough courage to do it

Courage... Yeah, I'm such a coward.

 

[Chiisai]

Courage... Yeah, I'm such a coward.

And so do I. Guess we just need to take our time.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

Most people who commit suicide just do it.

Don't think so, I think it's similar to serial killers. The ideation and fantasizing goes on for a super long time beforehand.

It is estimated by the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) that in 2017 there were approximately 10 million people in the USA who experienced suicidal thoughts. Fortunately, the majority of ideators in the USA and globally will never attempt suicide, and fewer will use lethal means that result in death.

 

[Chiisai]

"It is estimated by the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) that in 2017 there were approximately 10 million people in the USA who experienced suicidal thoughts. Fortunately, the majority of ideators in the USA and globally will never attempt suicide, and fewer will use lethal means that result in death"

Of course. What makes me hesitant is the pain not only I would feel but the pain of others I would causr because of my actions.

 

[rosie93]

"It is estimated by the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) that in 2017 there were approximately 10 million people in the USA who experienced suicidal thoughts. Fortunately, the majority of ideators in the USA and globally will never attempt suicide, and fewer will use lethal means that result in death."

It means that most people who want to kill themselves won't do it. Only a few of us will have guts to do it.

And so do I. Guess we just need to take our time.

Maybe you do. I don't need more time. The longer I'm here the more pain I cause to myself and others.

 

[Chiisai]

"It is estimated by the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) that in 2017 there were approximately 10 million people in the USA who experienced suicidal thoughts. Fortunately, the majority of ideators in the USA and globally will never attempt suicide, and fewer will use lethal means that result in death."

It means that most people who want to kill themselves won't do it. Only a few of us will have guts to do it.

Maybe you do. I don't need more time. The longer I'm here the more pain I can cause to myself and others.q

Now thats what I like. A challenge. Haha

"It is estimated by the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) that in 2017 there were approximately 10 million people in the USA who experienced suicidal thoughts. Fortunately, the majority of ideators in the USA and globally will never attempt suicide, and fewer will use lethal means that result in death."

It means that most people who want to kill themselves won't do it. Only a few of us will have guts to do it.

Maybe you do. I don't need more time. The longer I'm here the more pain I cause to myself and others.

I see. I too am in pain the longer I stay but being anxious of when I would CTB doesnt help either, it only incapacitates me more. I'll just take what time I have and use it to relax. Whatever will be, will be.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand. Personally, I think I will only be able to overcome SI once I reach a point of complete desperation/hopelessness, when I cannot think past the suicidal thoughts. I think that one day I will reach that point. I do wish it was easier to leave this world. Living really is tiring. I hope you find the peace you are looking for.