First suicide thought

[Totally_nothin]

when you had your first suicidal thought? in my case, it was about a month ago when everything went wrong. one person really close to me thought about it, and he showed me that suicide is not a bad way how to solve bad life situation, I don't know if it's just me, but the fact that my pain will end soon is making me happy.

 

[DarkWolf]

My first thoughts of dying came at 7/8ish years old. No one cared about me. I wanted to die so I could be a ghost and see what people's reactions to me being dead were.

 

[ClownMe]

Ive had bad depression since i was about 11/12, however i had my first suicidal thoughts when i was 14, that's when i realised i had literally no friends and nothing was ever going to change (and i was correct).

 

[Lady black]

When I was 12 I had my first thought

 

[WornOutLife]

Year: 2000
My age: 12

School had started and I realized what a hell my life was going to be. I thought of jumping in front of a train while coming back home for the first time in my life...

 

[FuneralCry]

I don't know when exactly I had the first thoughts, but I have always had an fascination with death and have always struggled with life even when I was a kid because I am not neurotypical. I probably started to think about ctb a lot as a young teenager.

 

[nopointofliving]

As per as I remember, I was in elementary school. I had an argument with mum, which made me unworthy, I decided to kill myself. I went to kitchen , and picked a food knife (thinking it will kill me ). I tried to insert the knife in my belly while crying (of course it failed, because that knife couldn't even cut my shirt).

 

[MyOwnWorstEnemy]

Ive had bad depression since i was about 11/12, however i had my first suicidal thoughts when i was 14, that's when i realised i had literally no friends and nothing was ever going to change (and i was correct).

Same, 30 odd years later nothing has got better, only blips where I'm to busy or distracted to notice.

 

[NothingElseMatters]

are you sure your pain will end?

 

[Totally_nothin]

are you sure your pain will end?

I'm almost 100% sure, whatever method I decide on, it may be maybe quite painful, but then I will have peace, and if the first attempt fails, I can try it over and over until i´ll reach... heaven i hope

 

[Jinnberg]

when you had your first suicidal thought? in my case, it was about a month ago when everything went wrong. one person really close to me thought about it, and he showed me that suicide is not a bad way how to solve bad life situation, I don't know if it's just me, but the fact that my pain will end soon is making me happy.

I was 8, I tried to jump off my school's roof due to extreme bullying.

 

[avoid_slow_death]

First thought, honestly not sure. First attempt was 11. A bunch of asprin in an empty lot two houses down. Nothing but a really bad stomach ache and I got even more depressed. My life has been soooo fun! (Sarcasm)

 

[LenkaX]

At the age of 10. And I was serious about it, I even had a rope and place where to do it.

 

[Largeletters]

I first attempted when I was 10 years old, that was when I really knew what suicide was. Before then, I felt a deep state of sadness and depression, but did not know about the act of killing myself.

 

[avoid_slow_death]

Damn....this thread is seriously heart shattering. I didn't think so damn many of us attempted or thought of attempting suicide so young. World is truly harsh....

 

[Bedrock48]

Around 16/17. Had just started college and was falling into some heavy psychosis. Had a voice telling me to kms and how to do it. It tried to get me to jump in front of the train I took home everyday and also at one point I tied my shoelaces round my neck in one of the college break rooms. It was close, nobody found me but I ended up crying enough that I felt better.

 

[lofticries]

Well age 6 was probably when suicidal ideation began. I mean I didn't actually want to kill myself but being in the state of not existing was what I desired with constant thoughts of wanting to disappear without a trace or sleep and never wake up. I probably thought of my funeral more than any other potential future happenings in my life.

Age 11 was when I started getting images of wanting to jump in front of my school bus. A bad report card was what triggered it but I was also getting bullied like crazy,had no friends, and had to deal with my parents being really awful towards each other (and at times towards me).

 

[PsychosisGirls]

For us there's a few ways of looking at it, but personally it's been with me for as long as I can remember. Since the beginning of my own life, and likely since a very young body age too.

Sometimes I curse the others for surviving their attempts, because then I'd never be in this situation.

 

[suicidesheep31]

@Tapicka Did you feel compassion towards your friend? Because you seem to connect this thought with the thoughts of your friend.

I would say that compassion is the most beautiful thing but you need to be careful to not mix her/his feelings with yours.
It would sounds pro-lifer, but I am not.

Hugs!

 

[Thisgirlwantstosleep]

I was 12/13, extremely socially isolated and always have been.

At didn't really understand my feelings at the time but I just knew I was really unhappy and didn't want to be around anymore.

Took a sachet of paracetamol to overdose (literally would have done nothing anyway) but then changed my mind at the last minute.

Sometimes these things are destiny.

 

[Painless_end]

March - April 2012

 

[Scribble Fan]

7 years ago. The PTSD and anxiety finally broke me and I got really depressed. Then one of my cats died and I really wanted to join her.

 

[pixie]

Very young, around 6-7. I can recall telling my family during the holidays how I'd like to hang myself with the lights.