Fighting myself

[NoWayOut015]

I feel like there are two people inside of me who are since some time constantly fighting each other
One of them just wants everything to end and the other one at least want to try changing things for the better and recovering
It's fucking exhausting and worst of all is I don't even know who I am anymore
Does anyone have a similar experience or am I just badshit crazy?
Does anyone know how to keep better control over my thoughts?

 

[Roseate]

I can relate to the stuck in between feelings of ending things or trying to recover. It's so hard because once you do start to work on yourself, it seems like that's when everything gets harder but you aren't crazy. I'd like to think many people can relate. I think the best way to keep it under control is by basically distracting yourself. Distract is all we can really do.

 

[The anhedonic one]

I no longer have that part of me that has hope and the desire for things to get better.
That part of me died some time ago.