Feelings and thoughts about a certain CTB

[Valhala]

Until now, this feeling that I have a way out (SN and the rest) gave me some peace and security, but now, when it seems that the hour of CTB is approaching, I feel some discomfort and like a barrier and a wall. I wouldn't call it fear, but definitely a negative feeling. Only when I think of her, my greatest love, which is why I started thinking about CTB because without her, my life has become completely meaningless, I feel some lightness and some force that pulls me to do it. All the rest of life the difficulties give me that bad feeling about CTB. I'm thinking if it's a sign that it's not time to leave yet or maybe I should at least try to solve these other (resolvable) problems and then leave calmly knowing that she is the main and basic reason for my leaving.

 

[FadingSnowFake]

Haven't seen you in a while, wondered how you were doing. I'm sorry for your pain. If something is holding you back like you say, maybe time holds something unresolved. Be kind to yourself, I wish you find the calm.

I'm still holding on because I see some light when I think about him, however vague. I know he will be crushed if I leave. I'm holding onto some hope that we were meant to be. I'm saying this now while yesterday my SN was calling. And while time flies every moment without him is torture, and everyday is more of a nightmare than the one before.

 

[GodChallengesMe]

I would never kms due to someone else, nobody is irreplaceable in this life and nobody is worth it to dedicate your existence to them or follow them in the grave.

Every individual is egotistical and centered around themselves. Yeah, you might get heartbroken for a while but that's nothing, it passes after a while and you get on your legs and continue living normally.

IMO, the only legit reason to CTB is when you have some sort of condition that prevents you from enjoying the life fully.