Feeling worse

[FuneralCry]

I wish I was already gone, I just want to leave this life behind, but sadly I am still writing about it instead. I am tired of writing about this yet again. I never feel well, I only ever feel bad. There is always some kind of negative feeling, misery, despair or sadness. In my case, only death will take away my pain. That is the truth. I will never be able to deal with life, I cannot cope with living, this life is not for me.

I do not enjoy anything, instead things just cause me pain. I particularly do not like eating very much and forcing myself to eat can be very tiring. I always feel so tired and I find something wrong with everything. It only takes the slightest thing to make me feel much worse. I wish there was a way to erase memories or forget parts of this life, maybe it would make existence more bearable but I know that nothing would ever help me. It is all very hopeless.
I think the biggest problem for me is that if I do not ctb I could be suffering for potentially many more decades. I just wish death would come peacefully and then I would be free. It hurts me that ctb is so difficult. The only way out of my misery is death. This life is so depressing.

 

[Crazy4u]

I am sorry to hear you are feeling worse. You are a lovely woman and well-liked by people around you. Did anything happen? do you know why you are feeling worse?

 

[Dot]

 

[noname223]

Life can be like torture. I know this feeling. I am not sure what to say. I am also very tired.
I wish you the best.

 

[raining123]

I wish I was already gone, I just want to leave this life behind, but sadly I am still writing about it instead. I am tired of writing about this yet again. I never feel well, I only ever feel bad. There is always some kind of negative feeling, misery, despair or sadness. In my case, only death will take away my pain. That is the truth. I will never be able to deal with life, I cannot cope with living, this life is not for me.

I do not enjoy anything, instead things just cause me pain. I particularly do not like eating very much and forcing myself to eat can be very tiring. I always feel so tired and I find something wrong with everything. It only takes the slightest thing to make me feel much worse. I wish there was a way to erase memories or forget parts of this life, maybe it would make existence more bearable but I know that nothing would ever help me. It is all very hopeless.
I think the biggest problem for me is that if I do not ctb I could be suffering for potentially many more decades. I just wish death would come peacefully and then I would be free. It hurts me that ctb is so difficult. The only way out of my misery is death. This life is so depressing.

i know how you feel. feel the same. do you know a way out? N? do you know if this works?

 

[FuneralCry]

I am sorry to hear you are feeling worse. You are a lovely woman and well-liked by people around you. Did anything happen? do you know why you are feeling worse?

I would not say I am well liked, but thank you anyway. I just feel especially ill and tired today, maybe lack of sleep. I just have no energy for anything.

i know how you feel. feel the same. do you know a way out? N? do you know if this works?

I think if I knew a way out I would already be long gone. I have never wanted to be alive.

 

[som1]

It's so hard living. The only thing that can save me from this misery is ctb but why can't I just do it. My brain failed me so many times and now it's failing me again with SI.