Venting Feeling overwhelmed on CBT methods

[Dangersmith1]

I'm struggling to act on my CBT(partial hanging) as it's just painful to go through with it. Im constantly just sleeping, smoking and doing nothing all day (but ruminating constantly on ways I can CBT and finding peace thinking about dying) but I feel weak and tired to make a step to do anything. Does anyone feel this way?

 

[.............]

After being around here and even feeling it myself, yeah, CTB is a terrifying experience. Sometimes you think you're determined to do it, then find yourself having a hard time even moving. I advise that you just REALLY think hard about this, because sometimes doubts like this make it clear that a person just isn't ready to do it yet or even at all. Hope things get better for you, no matter what you end up doing.

 

[Dangersmith1]

After being around here and even feeling it myself, yeah, CTB is a terrifying experience. Sometimes you think you're determined to do it, then find yourself having a hard time even moving. I advise that you just REALLY think hard about this, because sometimes doubts like this make it clear that a person just isn't ready to do it yet or even at all. Hope things get better for you, no matter what you end up doing.

For me now...Thinking about anything hurts and I just want it all to end.

 

[mandyjohnuk]

It's called Doubt. We all suffer from it. When the time is right you'll know and all will be good. Be safe. Be happy my friend.

 

[Dangersmith1]

Thank you for your words. Man it's just so hard. I wish I wasn't concious at all ;(

It's called Doubt. We all suffer from it. When the time is right you'll know and all will be good. Be safe. Be happy my friend.

 

[Al_stargate]

Hope to get my N soon, that would make things easier for me. Other methods seem harder or require a lot of willpower and determination, when in the last moments SI is kicking. Is it hard because of doubt if you should go through with this, or finding the courage to actually do it?

 

[Dangersmith1]

Sorry I am new here. What is SI?

Hope to get my N soon, that would make things easier for me. Other methods seem harder or require a lot of willpower and determination, when in the last moments SI is kicking. Is it hard because of doubt if you should go through with this, or finding the courage to actually do it?

 

[Al_stargate]

Sorry I am new here. What is SI?

Survival Instinct. You'll see that abbreviation a lot here.

 

[Dangersmith1]

Its the moment of when pain and discomfort kicks in. When the body is struggling to survive.

Hope to get my N soon, that would make things easier for me. Other methods seem harder or require a lot of willpower and determination, when in the last moments SI is kicking. Is it hard because of doubt if you should go through with this, or finding the courage to actually do it?

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand how you feel. I have never wanted to be alive, but yet I am trapped in this world as ctb is so difficult. I lack a peaceful and reliable way to exit and there is the fear of failure holding me back. All that I want is to peacefully pass away and be free from all pain. Suicide really is so difficult after all and I'm sorry that you are suffering so much. I am also tired of everything. I wish you the best in whatever happens.

 

[Dangersmith1]

I understand how you feel. I have never wanted to be alive, but yet I am trapped in this world as ctb is so difficult. I lack a peaceful and reliable way to exit and there is the fear of failure holding me back. All that I want is to peacefully pass away and be free from all pain. Suicide really is so difficult after all and I'm sorry that you are suffering so much. I am also tired of everything. I wish you the best in whatever happens.

I hope for the best for you too FuneralCry. Its a harsh world and all we can do is to be there for eachother. May there be peace for you.

 

[Judy Garland]

I know exactly how you feel. I wish there was just a simple off switch to ctb. A simple switch and you're home, really home. Society has made going home very barbaric. We have to resort in painful ways because society doesn't respect the right to leave, the right to die with dignity for EVERYONE. Not just the terminally ill. What person (or spirit) has the right to tell another that they can't leave. What right? Society has taken our true right to die away, our right to leave this place away. And then when natural causes help, they hop on top of your chest with paddles and other measures hoping you call them a hero for saving your life. Make sure you have your DNRs in order, I have to get mine done. Hopefully it won't tip off my doctor etc. that I plan on the big leap soon.

 

[BigGimpin]

I wish there was just a simple off switch to ctb

OMG I have been saying that for years!

 

[OldDrummer]

I'm struggling to act on my CBT(partial hanging) as it's just painful to go through with it. Im constantly just sleeping, smoking and doing nothing all day (but ruminating constantly on ways I can CBT and finding peace thinking about dying) but I feel weak and tired to make a step to do anything. Does anyone feel this way?

Totally dude, but more in the execution (no pun intended) than the planning.

I can't wrap my head around that day I'll be sitting on the edge of my bed, my affairs sorted as best as I can, and the various potions there on the bedside table waiting for me.

That's when the grim reality will set in.

I'll be listening to my favourite music on my headphones. Phone left downstairs to prevent an SI call to emergency services, but still in Bluetooth range to listen to music.

I'll have various notes pinned on the door and a warning notice to the first responders regarding the toxicity of what they'll find next to me.

And oh yeah, more important than anything, before I start the process...that final smoke.