Blowba
A Girl on the Shore
- Aug 12, 2018
- 76
I been feeling off today, I can't really feel anything except loneliness. I already know it's something that I struggle with but, I like to put aside and ignore it. I hate the feeling and realization of my loneliness. Especially when losing the person you really cared about it just hits harder. I have friends and I appreciate them very much but, I just can't help it at all that I want "friends". I want to recreate the nostalgic feeling of something that I used to have but now just feel alone. I try to make friends but it is extremely difficult for myself especially since we are in a pandemic. I am going to be getting a tattoo in June in Las Vegas. Its going to be difficult for me especially since the person who I cared and loved a lot (exfriend) lives there. And I know that I am out of their lives but I really want to meet them to have a final conversation because I know it will be the final and I want to make the most of it. But I dont want to get hurt anymore with them randomly abandoning me when they would comeback to me randomly saying they care and loved me. I feel like the end of our friendship is what really sparked the feeling of my loneliness especially since we were best friend. They had the tendency to abruptly leave and block me on everything but months later would text me again being friends saying how much they loved and cared for me but do the same thing all over again. They did this like 3 months back and I finally had my breaking point in letting them constantly do that to me. But all it left me was a vast feeling of emptiness and loneliness.
